Patrick Dean

big boy na

my nephew who was given to us in His own sweet time...

Crab Mentality? Or just being plain nasty?

Cae and I were watching an Amazing Race Asia 2 episode one night, and there was a team who said, "I hope everyone else gets lost" or something to that effect, just because they themselves got lost.

Cae asked, "Bakit ganoon, Mommy? Nangdadamay pa sila ng iba. Hindi na lang mag-wish ng maganda para sa iba."

Then, just recently I was discussing with my sister Pinky the same thing. Why is it that when something bad happens, the tendency is to either look for someone who similarly went through a bad experience (naghahanap ng damay) or to wish others bad luck. Damay-damay lang. Or at least, hindi lang ikaw ang minalas. Is this normal? Is this right?

I am not a saint. But when something bad befalls a loved one, a relative or a friend, I pray for that person, hope that everything will be all right, offer support (if possible), and more than these, let him/her be. Kung yun ang pinili nya, kung yun ang desisyon nya, hindi ako makikialam and I will never make tsismis about it. Hindi ko sya sisiraan sa iba. And I will never feel triumphant about it. What you see is what you get. Ganun pa din ang treatment ko sa kanya, no matter what. Hindi ko naging ugali na pagtsismisan ang ibang tao just because katsismis-tsismis yung nangyari sa kanya. Na parang holier-than-thou. Look what happened to you.

I had not-so-good decisions and experiences in the past. And if ever someone close to me goes through the same thing, hindi ako yung, "Ayan, pareho na tayong nasira ang buhay." "Ayan, pareho tayong tanga. Pareho tayong nagkamali. Pareho tayong losers and failure."

The same way that when something good happens, someone gets promoted, someone gets rich, someone gets a good opportunity, hindi ako sour-grapes. I will feel good for that person and I will wish him/her well. Yung iba kasi, naghahanap ng butas para makapintas and para matakpan yung magandang nangyari na yun. Or to take way the credit from that person. "Hmm, pangit ka naman" or "Someone is still better than you."

Sometimes, yung mga taong ganito eh malapit pa sa iyo, minsan mismong relative or friend mo. Bakit kaya ganun? Why can't we just be happy? Why can't we just be contented?

As I was telling Ate, I'm someone who looks at things from different angles. Must be my journalistic background. Be true, fair and objective. Lahat ng side, pinakikinggan ko as much as possible before making an opinion or judgment. And as much as possible, I don't want to blurt out remarks or comments that would hurt or offend people. Kung wala akong masasabing mabuti, eh di wag na lang magsalita.

Christmas 2007, Dean's Christening

Taken during Patrick Dean's Christening (Dec 23) and Christmas at Parque España. Last year, we were in stripes. Now, we decided to be Rockers for a change. Yeah!