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Thursday, March 13, 2025

When Life Gives You “When Life Gives You Tangerines”

“It’s an odd thing. Parents dwell on what they couldn’t give. And children dwell on what they couldn’t get.” – Geum Myeong

Netflix’s #WhenLifeGivesYouTangerines gives us a lot to ponder on.

As a parent, we always want to give the best to our children, offer them comfort and convenience in almost everything, even if it means working so hard that your brains and butt couldn’t tell which is which. Whether you are an employee or run your own business, there are a lot of times you want to retreat and surrender, but you don’t. In fact, you even end up giving up a lot of things for their sake, to be able to keep this up – your youth, your time, even your own dreams.  Because theirs matter more to you than yours. Because as parents, it is our role and obligation.

Not that I am complaining, we’re all in this for the long haul. I’ve been a parent since I was 23. I’m just saying that parents may not be always perfect, or we may not be able to give our children everything, but we try, and we will always do our best. We may not be the “best” parents for them, but we try to be. When you see them throw tantrums, or they seem sad or discontented or annoyed with you for some reason, when they get mad at you and they don’t seem to appreciate their life and the things you do for them, when you hear them whine or worry or look for things that they don’t have, or what you can’t give, it hurts a lot. But as a parent, would you fight back? Would you tell or show them that you’re hurt? Would they care? You just take it all in. Maybe our children will never know that side of parenthood until they become parents themselves.

Speaking for myself and my own experience, I have been working since I was 17 and battling against health issues, I decided to retire in 2022 at age 51. I have a few regrets after this humbling chapter of my life (but that’s another story), but I must live with that decision. If I were only living for myself, the retirement fund I received would be enough for my k-vices and “luxurious indulgences.” To translate in Filipino: Na kung ako lang at sarili ko lang iintindihin ko at aasikasuhin, at wala na ko ibang pagkakagastusan, ok na ko sa milyones ko.

But as my youngest son is still studying, I thought an extra income as a consultant would be nice. Leaving my comfort zone, which I thoroughly enjoyed for 2 years (no alarm clock in the morning, watching k-drama all day and all night, going out and to the mall anytime I want), I went back to work – and lost my time freedom again.

In the same year, our lives changed when my son entered college, and we had to move to QC and rent a place, again giving up the comforts of my home where I just had to set up my laptop and log out after 8 hours, nap and wake up, with my 2 helpers doing the household chores. Lunch and dinner are ready, laundry sorted and done, rooms cleaned - the works. Here, I have to multi-task – working at home is literally work and at the same time, tackle cleaning/cooking/etc. Expenses are double, too – Meralco, water, food and groceries. My helpers still get paid but I don’t hahaha Sometimes I resent being in this situation, but since I was the one who made the decision to stay with my son, I cannot grumble forever. I try not to dwell on it but sometimes it can be very challenging, especially for someone like me with mental and physical health limitations, I just pray that I will stay healthy and strong (and employed) for a long time to sustain this setup. 

But yes, if there are pains, there are gains, too. Don’t get me wrong. Parenting and parenthood involve not just challenges, but joys and rewards too. I have my share. And they outnumber the down times. In the same episode of WLGYT, the lead /mom AeSun said: “I found happiness in my own way. There was sunshine in my life too. I’ve had so many picture-perfect moments. I just want you to acknowledge that my life was worthwhile too.” 

If I have regrets, those are mine and my issues alone. I may have sacrificed a few personal wants and needs, but I will never take these against my children. 

To my two treasures: I just want you to be more understanding and patient (also me: perimenopause, anxiety and panic attacks, depression, mood swings, irritability, and other signs of aging hahaha). 

I’ll be 54 this year and even so, I am still being given tangerines, still learning every day, trying to be a better person every day, trying to guide you every day, praying for you every day – and praying to be with you as much as I can, as longer as I can, every day.

#talesofthegoodgirl




Thursday, September 28, 2023

9-28-2020

 9-28-2020. Exactly 3 years ago, I underwent surgery...and my life was never the same again.

As a DCIS patient, I am on HRT since December 2020 and will take the same meds for about 2 more years. I am also regularly seeing an oncologist to make sure my Stage 0 condition won't progress to the next...kaya pasensya na po sa mga umuutang, mahal po ang follow up ultrasound, mammogram and lab tests ko. 😔

I will be forever grateful to my former employer, InLife, for taking care of me...as you can see from the hospital billing on the photo, I paid 0.00 when I got out...I was admitted Sept 27 and was discharged Sept 29, na wala ni piso akong binayad sa MCM. InLife covered everything. Maraming salamat, InLife. And to my surgeon na sobrang bait, more than two years na follow up check ups, hindi niya ako siningil ng consultation fee ever! God bless you, Doc Kat.

To ladies out there, early detection is still the best protection. 

1. Don't take APEs and med results/doctor recommendations for granted. 

2. If you are postponing surgical procedures or any medical ek ek, kasi feeling mo mahirap isingit sa trabaho, don't. If you have the means, the resources, the support, unahin mo ang health (with emphasis on the means, resources - kasi baka ma-offend yung iba, sabihin porke ikaw nareimburse mo). 

3. You cannot do your job well kung may health problem or concerns ka. Araw-araw, may iniisip ka, may iniinda ka. Pano mo haharapin ang projects mo nang maayos? Hindi masama ang self-care.

4. I later on learned from my psychiatrist that this chapter of my life was one of the causes of my MDD/ depression. Sino ba ang hindi maaapektuhan o hindi mababaliw habang iniintay mo kung may cancer ka o ano. She also thought hindi ako nabigyan ng ample time to recover from the surgery. After 2 weeks na sick leave kasi, pumasok na ko. She felt it wasn't just right.

5. Pag nareremind tayo ng mortality natin, we start to focus on what matters, kung ano or sino ang importante sa buhay natin. Morbid? Scary? Yes, totally. Minu-minuto, lagi ko Siya nireremind na wag muna ko kunin, kasi kailangan pa ko ng mga anak ko. 😭😭😭

Life goes on...and the Lord is watching over us. Kahit minsan, hindi natin deserved. (You may read my past blogs https://therealgoodgirl.blogspot.com/2020/10/breast-wishes-part-1.html

https://therealgoodgirl.blogspot.com/2020/10/breast-wishes-part-2.html

https://therealgoodgirl.blogspot.com/2020/10/bre9ast-wishes-part-3.html

https://therealgoodgirl.blogspot.com/2020/12/breast-wishes-part-4.html)

May the Lord continue to bless us all. 

#talesofthegoodgirl








Tuesday, September 26, 2023

#LayoVer Review

 #LayoVer Review ⭐️

He’s got the V

Taehyung's vocals and visuals...

His voice is like a hug

A rest, a respite, a nap

That you're waiting for after a stressful or bad day

Comforting you until all troubles are gone

Like a shield

Protecting you from the storm and thunder

Like a light 

In your darkest moment

A refreshing mist on a scorching hour

Listening to him is

Like coming home to the one you love.

And you don't mind the waiting...

So V-eautiful...

---

Track listing

1. Rainy Days

2. Blue

3. Love Me Again

4. Slow Dancing – my favorite

5. For Us

6. Slow Dancing (Piano Version)

The album (which I bought as a birthday present for myself) is designed like a box or package delivered with "lots of love" featuring his beloved Pomeranian YeonTan. I got all three versions – purple, blue and green plus the Weverse digital album. You can listen to it over and over again in one sitting and fall in love forever, it is so V as we all know he is a jazz and R&B fan. As with the other member’s solo albums, Layover showcases V’s own individual personality, taste and sound. His voice is deep, husky, dreamy and soulful. The songs are warm, romantic and nostalgic – just like him. And if we will take it literally, Layover as a short rest, we can’t wait for his next step or destination. 

#LoveMeAgain #RainyDays #SlowDancing #Blue #ForUs

#Layover #VSoloAlbum #BTSV #KimTaehyung #BTS #ARMY #BuhayKPam







Fan(Girl) Zone (My K-World)

Yung napapanuod  mo lang sila sa streaming apps, or sa movies na talagang first day showing ang hinahabol mo. Naiinlove ka sa acting (o sige na nga, sa kagwapuhan). Tapos ma-meet mo sila and ma-witness mo up close and personal yung sincerity nila, yung desire to make fans happy and fulfilled. Paglabas pa lang nila sa stage, tutulo ang luha mo. Promise. Sobrang sulit (kahit nauna nang maiyak ang wallet mo). Kahit minamadali kayo ng staff sa Goodbye Session, ang nagiging goal mo kasi is to comply sa strict rules nila, at hindi yung nakafocus ka sa pagHi at pag-Bye LOL

As I’ve posted, #OKTAECYEONinMNL2023 #SpecialTY is my happiest and luckiest and most fun and most fulfilling fan meet (although 5th FM ko pa lang naman). Yung ilang araw na nakalipas, nakangiti ka pa rin and chinecheck mo lahat ng related posts – X, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok. At lalo mo silang minamahal. Kahit mahal silang mahalin LOL Yung isang ticket na 8k-10k, pang one-week grocery mo na.

Born and bred fangirl ako and I am not embarrassed to admit it. In fact, sobrang tinolerate ako ng tatay ko mula bata pa ko. My late father would always accompany me – sa paghanap ng bahay ni Francis Magalona sa Mandaluyong, sa pagbabad sa ULTRA/Rizal Memorial, and sa radio program ni Romy Kintanar nung araw to see my favorite basketball players/RP Team, sa pag-attend ng concerts naming magkakapatid (New Kids on the Block, Fra Lippo Lippi, Keno, Bon Jovi, Gloria Estefan, among others). Yung mga trip ko nun, sinasakyan ng Papa ko. It didn’t matter kung hatid-sundo ang peg, maghihintay sya or sila ni Mama sa parking or somewhere or babalik na lang sila. Basta sasamahan nya ako / kami.

One thing I have learned (and accepted) though, kahit na super super fan ka, marerealize mo (and may makikilala ka) na mas super super super fan than you are. Kala mo #1 fan ka? Hindi rin LOL “There's always somebody out there crazier than you.” And hindi mo sya masisisi.

  • ·       January 22, 2023 – Kim Seon Ho, Mall of Asia Arena
  • ·       April 16, 2023 – Lee Jong Suk, PICC Plenary Hall
  • ·       June 16-18, 2023 – Team Labas, AgustD D-Day Tour, Singapore Indoor Stadium
  • ·       July 2, 2023 – Cha Eun Woo, Smart Araneta
  • ·       August 6, 2023 – Jung Hae In, New Frontier Theater
  • ·       September 23, 2023 – Ok Taec Yeon, New Frontier Theater
  • ·       October 1, 2023 – Twice, Philippine Arena
  • ·       Next??? Sana masundan pa ng marami, Lord
  • ·       Bye Park Seo Joon, Ahn Hyo Seop, Lee Jun Ho for now
  • ·       Choi Woo Shik (11/16) - may katiting na pag-asa pa
  • ·       Park Hyung Sik (TBA) - sayo na nakataya budget ko

#BuhayKPam



 

 

Wednesday, September 20, 2023

The Uncanny Counter Seasons 1 & 2 signing off

"You know, hope is a cruel monster. But that's what drives us to keep fighting.”

Alam ninyo yung naghahanap kayo ng mapapanuod sa Netflix, scroll scroll tapos may laging lumalabas sa feed mo, pero hindi mo pinapansin. You look at the synopsis, parang hindi mo type. Lalo na kung gusto mo lang ng light, yung rom-com, hindi ka stressed sa kontrabida, and above all, may Oppa. 

Ganyan ang love affair ko with #TheUncannyCounter. “Demon hunters pose as workers in a noodle shop in an effort to catch evil spirits hoping to find eternal life.” Yan ang description kung ano ang Counters. 

Naku, parang ma-stress yata ako dito, I thought before. Sa zombies nga, napapagod ako eh hehehe kahit eto ung mga gusto kong panuorin minsan – suspense, mystery, action-thriller, supernatural, yan ganyan. Maiba lang ba. Gusto ko rin yung walang Papa-ble na lead, para hindi na nadadagdagan mga Oppa ko, utang na loob LOL 

I actually got curious with #Season2CounterPunch kasi trending yung mga villains/kontrabida. Yung mabait na si #KangKiYoung sa #ExtraordinaryAttorneyWoo (as grrrrrr #HwangPilGwang) eh dito talagang isusumpa mo ang kasamaan) and #TheGlory’s #KimHieora as grrrrrr #GelliChoi na gusto mong ipakagat sa gabundok na langgam sa pagka-salbahe. Season 2 already ended and lumabas na nga ang bullying scandal ni Hieora.

Sabi ko, naku, paano ba ito, dalawang seasons ang kailangang bunuin, syempre you have to watch Season 1 first. Sige habulin natin. Kahit na sabay-sabay na pinapanuod ko (#Moving #BehindYourTouch #DestinedWithYou #ATimeCalledYou). 

And I didn’t expect na maiinlove ako sa series na ito. Kahit wala akong favorite sa mga leads. Pag na-hook ako despite that, wala na, surrender na ko. Although si Ms. Chu (played by the very versatile #YumHyeRan of #TheGlory #MaskGirl, pwedeng mabait na ahjumma, pwedeng kontrabida), eh given na yan. At kung may award for the cast / ensemble, bigyan ko sila for chemistry.
Season 1 
#JoByeongKyu as #SoMun (#HotStoveLeague, 1st time ko sya mapanuod)
#YuJunSang as #GaMoTak (#AlchemyofSouls, ang abs ni ahjussi ha!)
#KimSeJeong as #DoHaNa (#BusinessProposal)
#AhnSukHwan as #ChoiJangMul (#RooftopPrince)
#LeeHongNae as #JiCheongShin (#DrRomantic, ang abs din ha! Infer)
Season 2
#YooInSoo as #NaJeokBong (siya yung hate natin sa #AllOfUsAreDead)
#JinSeonKyu as #MaJuSeok (#ConfidentialAssignment2International, hanapin nyo rin sya sa #KingTheLand and #Vincenzo)

As the series dealt with life, death and afterlife, may mga buhos-luha scenes talaga, hindi mo mapigilan. Sabi nga ni Mun, there is a thin line between life and death. “I know how it feels to lose your family in the blink of an eye. They’re here one moment. And then all of a sudden, they disappear.” Tama ba yung recall ko hehe basta parang ganun. Reminds you that life is short, na dapat you cherish every moment with your loved ones, sabihan mo sila na mahal mo sila. 

May mga “Huh” and “Hmp” moments, may dragging scenes lalo na sa Season 2, you just have to suspend your disbelief, ika nga to enjoy watching hehehe Buti na lang din hindi na nila inistretch and ginawang 12 eps lang.

And as a birthday gift to myself, I bought a cherry red track jacket like theirs. Love it!

#TheUncannyCounter streams in #Netflix, habol na!

#BuhayKPam









Sunday, May 21, 2023

A Tale of Two Writers

While we were in Starbucks this afternoon, and as Alex and Caehl were sitting comfortably preparing to read, I commented on their book purchases.

“Aba, dalawa pala ang books na binili ni Daddy.”

Then Caehl said, “I’m not much into fiction.”

Me: What? What do you mean? You don’t prefer fiction, you don’t like reading fiction?

Caehl: No. Parang hindi (ina-accept) ng brain ko.

I just laughed. I didn’t know how to process that. “Grabe ka naman.”

Why, he asked.

Me: Because your dad and I are fictionists.

Me: Didn’t you know that your dad is the UST Rector’s Literary Award winner in 1992? And didn’t you know that I published my first fiction when I was 17, and I got paid for that?

Come to think of it, yes, Caehl isn’t much into fiction. He has always been a no-nonsense, serious reader. I know we tried to introduce him to some teen / young adult literature but he is really into reference books. His collection is composed mostly of dictionaries, encyclopedias, almanacs, and atlases. And I realized after that conversation that yes, fiction was my life then. I was a short story writer. And his dad, too.

Alex is the better writer between the two of us, there’s no contest and I acknowledge that (well, in fact UST did). While I got paid for my published works in local women’s magazines when we were in college, he won literary awards for his short fiction and poetry. And he was one of the favorites of the late Dean Ophelia A. Dimalanta (one of the country's most respected writers).

I told him, “Nakakamiss din magsulat ng fiction, no? Kaya ko pa kaya?”

Why not, he said. Bakit hindi mo gawin? Mas marami ka ngang time ngayon.

I don’t know if I still can. When I was still working, puro memos, project proposals, presentations na lang ang alam ko. Now naman, puro blogs na lang sinusulat ko. I mean, as in real-life, honest-to-goodness everyday experiences, moments and adventures. Hindi ko alam kung kaya ko pa gumawa ng fiction. Dati nun, nagreresearch pa ako sa settings ko.

Wow, napapailing na lang ako. Yan nga pala ang past life ko. I cannot remember now how many short stories of mine were published (maybe more than 10?), and some poetry. Magazines may be a thing of the past now, but it was a big deal back then. Imagine my thrill as a seventeener when I received a checque way back 1988. I just graduated from high school then, trying to make my summer memorable before entering college. As I didn’t have a bank account, I had to go to the branch in Binondo to encash it, and the other checques that followed nung nasa UST na ko. My parents were so proud of me. Lalo na ang Papa ko na kasama ko palagi sa bank. In fact, I had a compilation of my short stories, two volumes yun, type-written na naka-bind (Jimmy Doe and Other Stories, Volume 1 and Volume 2). But sadly, I lost them, I don’t know how. Maybe it was after we moved back to my parent’s house in Laguna after 4 years in QC. Tapos binabaha pa bahay namin nun.

I also dreamed of writing a novel. I remember seeing myself in a beach house na nagsusulat kahit matanda na ko. 

I still can dream, can’t I?

Note: The Gawad Ustetika Rector's Literary Award is given to a literary work that best reflects the “University’s Catholic vision of grace and redemption.” 

Visit therealgoodgirl.blogspot.com

#talesofthegoodgirl | May 21, 2023



 

 

 

Wednesday, May 10, 2023

#AgustD #DDay

Unexpected flaws piled up in layers create the afterimages of my multiple selves.

Not getting intimidated but rebelling and raising questions against contradictions of countless conditions the world demands.

---D-Day

#AgustD, how could you? How could your album mean so much?

If Jimin’s #FACE could make a person appreciate his weaknesses and vulnerabilities more, #Suga or AgustD’s #DDay will break your heart but will leave you fearless (that is, if you aren’t yet).

It was truly a perfect timing that I got to watch his Disney+ documentary #RoadToD-DAY first before getting to see his #AMYGDALA MV. The docu is all about his “journey to find new stories and inspire new dreams” as he creates his solo album. And it will make you understand and appreciate him more.

What do you think are the chances of a totally controllable future arriving?

There’s a high chance that the future you dreaded never happens.

This is the story I wanted to share with you.

People always worry about the uncertainty of the future. They fear it.

And they’re distressed over the past that they can’t change.

But the only thing you can control is the present.

I want to share stories that focus on the present.

The past is the past. The present is the present. The future is the future.

Put too much meaning into them and they will torment you.

It’s up to the listeners to judge my work, and only time will tell…

“I don’t know your name…” His painful memories - of his parents’ health, of his accident and injury, his mental health issues, his struggles. I now understand why he seems the most serious among the seven members of #BTS (in fact, his gummy smile is one in a million). And I didn’t realize how soothing and comforting his singing voice could be. No wonder, he is a top bias-wrecker.

#AMYGDALA brought tears to my eyes as I too recall my dark days when I myself was having depression and I didn’t know it yet that time. Darkness would envelop me, I didn’t know what was happening. And if you weren’t too mindful or if you won’t be able to figure out what was going on, it will make you do things that are not right. And coming out of it alive now, fear becomes just a word. Nothing will scare you anymore.

“Depression causes the hippocampus to raise its cortisol levels, impeding the development of neurons in your brain. The shrinkage of brain circuits is closely connected to the reduction of the affected part's function. While other cerebral areas shrink due to high levels of cortisol, the amygdala enlarges. The amygdala controls emotion, so this may cause issues like sleep disturbances, mood swings, and other hormone-related problems. An enlarged amygdala is also linked to the development of bipolar disorder.” (https://www.transformationstreatment.center/treatment/what-happens-to-the-brain-during-depression/)

He had a lot of heartbreaking experiences. And he tells us through his music that while we acknowledge those, these old demons must not rule us or have this power over us. "What didn't kill me only made me stronger...And I begin to bloom like a lotus flower once again..." Like a lotus flower, he bloomed beautifully above the mud and water.

In making music that comforts fans all over the world, idols don’t seem to have anyone to comfort them when it’s their turn to be alone, lonely and tired. #AgustD leaves a message to aspiring artists via #Snooze (ft. Ryuichi Sakamoto & WOOSUNG of The Rose):

“You who sleep for your dreams, it's okay to rest..””

Just laugh out loud

As if the world is leaving

Just hold on

Wherever you are

I hope your dream won't just be left as a dream

I'll cheer you on anytime, anywhere (Dream)…”

“You will fully bloom, after all the hardships

The beginning may be weak, but the end may be great…”

The lyrics of his songs may strike a painful chord, but there is calmness and healing in the end. #DDay reminds us that no matter how ugly some of our memories and past experiences are, liberation is waiting. Beautiful days will come and you will be free…

“The world’s bullshit, but you don’t have to be / So open your eyes and see the real world.”

#DDay is the third #AgustD release, after his self-titled 2016 mixtape and 2020's D-2.

Tracks:

  • D-Day
  • Haegeum
  • HUH?! (ft. j-hope)
  • AMYGDALA
  • SDL
  • People Pt. 2 (ft. IU)
  • Polar Night
  • Interlude: Dawn
  • Snooze (ft. Ryuuichi Sakamoto and WOOSUNG of The Rose)
  • Life Goes On

#talesofthegoodgirl #KPam