Love is lovelier

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”

― Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

Do you remember the first time you fell in love? Your second or third time? How about your last?

It does not matter how many times you have fallen in love, or if it’s your first, your second, or your last, because it’s never the same. And in each time, every time you get another chance at it, the premise is it should get better, and it should feel better. It should be sweeter. And lovelier.

The assumption of course, is that falling in love each time should be a richer and more fulfilling experience, as you learn from your past mistakes and you become a better person. The next time or the second time around shouldn’t be the same as you are not the same person anymore. Some of your ways or points of view may have changed because your experience may have changed the way you give and receive love. Yet, even so, it doesn’t guarantee that it will last, or that it will be your last. You can still fail, you can still lose. But it doesn’t stop you and it shouldn’t stop you from loving again, from trying again.

It doesn’t matter how old you are, or in what state you are in – whether you are single, married, separated, widowed, your feelings are valid and will always be valid. Falling in love and being in love is still one of the best feelings and experiences in the world. And it doesn’t matter if it hurts or if it makes you cry, it makes you feel things you have never felt before. And it makes you do things you haven’t done before. It makes you happy, yet it’s the same thing that makes you sad. It causes pain, yet it takes pains away. It makes you stronger, yet it is also your weakness. Falling in love may catch us unprepared, but staying in love and keeping meaningful relationships don’t just happen. It is by choice. We choose to love, to change and to improve ourselves and our relationships, and to be happy.

American psychologist Robert Sternberg (known for his triangular theory of love) once said, “Without expression even the greatest of loves can die.” That being said, open your heart, don’t be afraid to love and to express that love fully, because it’s the only way to love. 

~TheGoodGirl

BrowJob (Part 3)

To those asking for updates, 3 weeks have passed since my eyebrow embroidery from Eyebrow Embroidery Manila / Kristine Lucas. 

My eyebrows are now on their fourth week. They’re all dry now, scabs have all fallen off, and the colors have resurfaced, they’re no longer light. I can put on brow liner and powder if I want to. Down side? None yet. Although I cannot and will not be able to use facial products with lightening ingredients on my eyebrows. Up side? Well, I can really say, I woke up like this! And after taking a shower, wow, they look great. My prep time in the mornings has been reduced. I don’t touch it anymore except with an eyebrow spoolie. The “hairs” look natural to me. It’s as if my eyebrows have just been made up. I like the shape. When we went on a family outing a week ago, I was advised by Tin not to make “babad” in the water. It’s ok if some pool water gets on them but not too much, since they were still fresh. 

I like it when people stop to ask if they can take a look, and I don’t mind them asking me questions. In fact, I encourage them to ask me and I like it when people are interested to know more about it. I love my eyebrow embroidery experience. No regrets.

Ayan sya on my 1st week

On my 1st week

A week after

98% of the scabs have fallen off. Some areas are lighter, may look weird to some people. Colors will fade up to 60% and will resurface  in about 2 weeks

Ang light niya

Work in progress, two weeks

Two weeks after. Tin said I could put on brow make up if I wanted to

Three weeks

This is me. This is real. I love my brows!

My next session (retouch) with Tin is on June 11.  I will keep you posted.

Till then, you may check out Kristine Lucas’ portfolio:
Make Up by Kristine

Kristine's Facebook page
and my past two blog entries
Browmance Part 1
BrowJob Part 2

~TheGoodGirl 

Making peace with the past (Find the good and embrace the lessons)

“When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you.”

I realized that a year ago, there were things happening in my life all at once. Some doors were closing, while new ones are opening. People were leaving, and some were just arriving. Decisions were being made, and some actions were being regretted. At that time, I was clueless on what would happen from then on. I didn’t know the implications or the consequences of those decisions and actions.

They said when you let go of things that don’t belong in your life, you make room for the ones that do, and you create space for something better. But during that time, I didn’t know that. My only thought was I was losing something. I was trying to hold on, but I didn’t know that letting go was the only way and the best way to go. I was chasing the wrong things. I didn’t know that something else, something better was in store for me. That greater things were bound to happen. That I would be happier.

Afterwards, when I was starting to realize that, I kept on thanking Him, amazed at how mysterious His ways really are. I kept on apologizing for not trusting Him, and for doubting His love for me. He was not answering my prayers. But in truth, He was indeed answering my prayers by saying ‘no’, by not giving in. He didn’t give me what I want, because it was not for me, and it was not best for me. I was about to receive more, to be blessed with more than I deserved.

Indeed, everything that happens in our life has a reason. Whatever it is, and whether we have already realized its purpose or not, let us always find the good (in it) and embrace the lessons. Learn from our mistakes, forgive ourselves for our failures and for the wrong things we’ve done, move forward, and accept that some things are not meant for us, and some things are not meant to be. Make peace with the past, make peace with yourself, and make peace with the people whom you have hurt or who might have hurt you. Give thanks. And be open to changes. God’s plans are always bigger than ours. We just have to let go, and leave it to Him.

~TheGoodGirl

BrowJob (Part 2)

So it’s now or never. Location, rate and client satisfaction considered, I finally chose Kristine Lucas / Eyebrow Embroidery Manila for my most awaited eyebrow embroidery experience. I wanted to meet her last April 16, but there was no slot available anymore, so we settled on April 23, 6pm.

I would go over Tin’s Facebook page again and again to look at her past clients and their before&after photos. A plus factor is her being a make-up artist. A MUA should know eyebrows too well, as brows would really make or unbreak one’s made up face. You may wish to take a look at her portfolio:
http://www.makeupbykristine.com/ 
http://www.facebook.com/kristinelucasmakeupartist/

I was also worried on how my brows would look after the procedure. Magsi-sick leave ba ako pag ayan na ang downtime?

And so the day has come.

My brows were still made up when I arrived. Tin said they looked really thin (pardon the pun), she asked me if I wanted shading. I was hesitant. But when she took off the make-up, she said the hairs naman pala look ok, so there’s no need. 3D or 3HD would do. After drawing mock brows as her guide, and asking me if I am ok with that, the browjob began.

Topical anesthesia was applied and we waited for 45 minutes for it to take effect. My husband was there all along. Tin showed me the needle that she would use on me. It was actually painless. If you are afraid of needles, or if you think it would hurt, believe me, it won’t. Well, it helped that I am a person whose pain tolerance is so high that I fall asleep during Brazilian wax. As I told Tin, mas nafeel ko pa yung Brazilian laser hair removal than this. You can just feel the needle strokes, but they don’t hurt. The procedure went for an hour. Then Tin said I could take a look in the mirror. The shade that she used on me was “mudpie.” She applied cream on them for healing as last step. Ta-dah!

Going home, I felt like I have a wound (as the anesthesia wore off) but you could tell that I am pleased with my brows. I can’t wait until they are completely healed. After-care tips include not wetting it for 24 hours, applying the healing cream 3 x a day (dabs or pats only, no wiping, swabbing, scrubbing), and no swimming / gym in the meantime. And while it’s healing, I can’t put anything on it.

According to Tin: "The eyebrows will seem very dark as the ink is left on the skin but will be washed away by scabbing and peeling of the top layer of the skin.”

“When the skin peels off, it will seem like a lot of the color is gone, but it will resurface in another 2 or 3 weeks. After which, the color should be about 60% of the color of the 1st day of procedure.”

“Retouch, to correct areas that were not filled and add more color will be done 60 days after to achieve the best result.”

This is me, this is real, pre-appointment:

Brow shaping before the procedure:

During:

Freshly done:

My after-procedure look:

The morning after (yes, I woke up like this!):

Two days after:

Well, I have to park my brow tools for now. I am going to enjoy my new brows for the next 24 months :)

For additional information, please visit https://eyebrowembroiderymanila.com/2015/07/06/what-is-the-difference-between-3d-eyebrow-embroidery-strand-embroidery-and-shading-embroidery/

If you are interested in eyebrow embroidery, please let me know. Or feel free to ask me questions. I am more than happy to share this browjob experience.

~TheGoodGirl

Browmance (Part 1)

Back when they were still “virgin brows,” they were neither thick nor sparse. They were in fact just right. But when I started to pluck them 10 or 12 years ago, and do them every day with eyebrow pencils, that’s when the hairs started to become thin.

And yes, I have to do my brows every single day. Except for gel brow liners, I have tried a lot of brow liner and powder brands. So far, my favorite is L’Oreal’s Brow Artist Designer Pro in dark brown. It’s a 3-in-1 tool – you have a retractable pencil, powder, and brush. I don’t buy expensive tools though. I am contented with a Nichido brow brush. I also have brow stencil kits. I can go out without face powder or lipstick, but not without my brows. Without them, I look older, and I look like there’s something missing from my face. Doing them every day is ok, I don’t mind, but sometimes they would smudge, and when I have to wash my face, I have to do them all over again. Minor lang naman but what if you go swimming, or running, pag nabasa na face mo, or you get sweaty, baka kumalat. Unless you wear the waterproof kind.

Tools of the trade

Every time a make-up artist would do my face, I would have to explain what happened to my brows.

“Bakit manipis?”

“Ewan ko ba, paggising ko, ganyan na eh.”

Sometimes I like what they’ve done to my brows, sometimes not really. My favorite so far is Raymond Isais’ soft take on my brows (my look last December 2015 Christmas Party, please refer to my blog profile pic). Follow him at IG @raymondisais

That is why when I heard of eyebrow embroidery, my curiosity was piqued. In one of the groupon sites, I saw a promo in a salon in Makati. I thought, what if I try it? When I was in Bangkok last year, there was a stall inside a mall that offers 3D brows, and I think one or two of my agent-companions tried the service. True enough, the following day, they had eyebrows like forever, as if they have been there all along. They were lovely but they looked so made up.

I have also read of horror stories, wherein clients didn’t like the finished product. The brows look dark on them, masakit, hindi maganda ang shape, etc.  I would also remember some celebrities who had them, and the brows looked so unnatural. Halatang ginawa. I heard of Pretty Looks, but I thought it was too expensive. Think of Ellen Adarna. Lakas maka-ganda. Watching the video, I said to myself, mukhang kaya ko naman. Mukhang hindi naman masakit. Paano kaya ang after-care nito? Every day, I would type “eyebrows” in the Facebook search bar, hoping to see other people who are offering the same service, and I would check out their pages, the “after” photos look so good, and I would be inspired all the more. I-push ko ba ito? There are rates as low as 3k. But the price is too good to be true.

Finally, my choices were narrowed down into two. One Sunday, I sent personal messages to Strokes by Momoi Supe, and to Eyebrow Embroidery Manila. The rates were from Php10,000 to 14,000. Pwede na. Medyo affordable na compared to the Php20-25k+ rates of other artists/salons. But you would have to schedule an appointment as the slots are limited, especially for me who could only go during weekends. I also inquired about the downtime. I couldn’t imagine going to the office looking like someone who had a cosmetic surgery. Yung warts removal nga, ayokong patulan, because of the tuldok-tuldok marks after.

So these are the eyebrow embroidery details I got from them:

https://www.facebook.com/strokesbymomoisupe/

• It is a semi-permanent tattoo that can last up to 2 years. The procedure costs 14,000 - Master ES (Momoi Supe) and 10,000 - Senior ES (Keighty Wong).
• They only accept cash payments for now. It is inclusive of retouch after 6 weeks. It will take 1.5 hours to do the procedure.
• 15mins. - Eyebrow Shaping, 30mins. - Topical Anesthesia Curing and 45mins. - EE Procedure
• A topical anesthesia is applied before and during the procedure to lessen or totally eliminate pain.
• They have only 1 branch and strictly by appointment only.
• There is peeling afterwards 1-2 weeks, darkening 2-3 days before scabs/peel off then lighten.

https://www.facebook.com/eyebrowembroiderymanila/?pnref=story

• They have an ongoing 30% discount on eyebrows. The original rate for 3HD is 12k,  this is the strand type, very natural. After discount, it will be 8,400 only.
• 6HD is 15k, it’s the more bushy look with varying hair length and shades. Shading is 8k, similar to old tattoo style but more natural in color. They also have 30% discount on 6HD & shading eyebrow services for April.
• Lip tint is 6k and eyeliner is 4k.
• Kristine Lucas is a Singapore & U.S. certified girl makeup artist for 8 years.
• The eyebrows will look dark for about 3 days and then it will peel for another 4 days, so total of 1 week downtime

Php8,400 to 10k – not bad, I thought. I would just have to make a choice as to when and where. I asked my husband to accompany me if and when I do decide to undergo this thing called eyebrow embroidery.

Stay tuned for BrowJob (Part 2).

~TheGoodGirl

Oscar the Grouch

I remember when Alex and I were just starting to see each other, I asked him what he liked in me. And he said it was my cheerful disposition and sense of humor that attracted him to me. “You are like sunshine on a rainy day,” he said something to this effect. He told me that I seem to be always happy, and to him, there was never a dull moment with me.

Bakit may masungit na tao? Of course, we all have problems, stressors, bad hair days, and bad times. But there are people who are naturally ill-tempered, short-tempered, sulky, irritable. They have this innate surliness. I admit, I have my down times, and I am not always this cheerful. I am a woman, I have PMS, and I have mood swings. There are times when I slip into this grouchy mode but I am not masungit by nature. As one who is known to be jolly, I don’t want to be caught off-guard, I always try to be on my happy side most of the times. I don’t like people having this first impression of me that I am grouchy. Especially now that I’m already considered a “tita”, I don't want people to say “Ang tanda na kasi, kaya masungit.” Or worse, “Maganda nga, masungit naman.” LOL

There’s this Mr. Assimo, a character in Bubble Gang, an overly irate man played by Michael V. who seems to complain about everything, has no good word for anything, finding everything not to his liking. Pero bakit nga ba may masungit na tao? These are the ones na umaga pa lang, parang wala na sa mood agad. You greet them, you talk to them, parang wala lang, parang walang nakikita or naririnig. They can’t even return your greeting, parang may bayad palagi ang ngiti. Yung harap-harapang pagsusungit. If your day or morning isn’t great, don’t blame it on others, or don’t dump it on other people. There are people who are terminally irritable in the morning, and there are people na sabi nga, habang nagkaka-edad, sumusungit. Yung walang lovelife (or s*x life). Excuse me po, tabi-tabi lang. There are people who feel it has to be on their own terms when and when not to be masungit. Ayaw kitang batiin, eh bakit ba. Of course, death or loss or sickness is excuse enough, and there are a lot of reasons to be grumpy – waking up on the wrong side of the bed, lack of sleep, heavy traffic, fight with your partner, boredom, empty wallet. But come on, for the rest, it can’t be that bad that you have to be like this every day and you take it out on people who are just being nice to you. Nakakapagod din naman magsungit. Hindi ka ba napapagod?

Life is short. Stay connected, stay positive. Be like the fairy dust or stars, or a lake when the sun hits it just right — all of these things sparkle. Be a source of joy, shine above the rest, and don’t be afraid to sparkle a little bit brighter.

~TheGoodGirl

The Mathematics of Love

@talesofthegoodgirl

My late father used to say, you don't divide love (hindi hinahati ang pag-ibig), instead you multiply it.

By all means, I get it when they say you can add love. Love a little more. But I don't understand when they say you subtract (love). How can you love less? How can someone love a little less? How do you do that? Bawasan mo ang pagmamahal mo. Huwag mong ibigay lahat. Huwag ka masyadong magmahal. Huwag mo siya masyadong mahalin. Magtira ka para sa sarili mo. Huwag 100%.

We don't fall in love or love or give love the same way. Each and every one of us does it differently. It may be the same kind of love but we all have our own way of loving or showing it. When you say bawasan, how do you lessen or reduce the level? Unlike hair that you can shave, or snow that you can scrape, love is something that's either this much or none at all. I don't know how to make bawas. Food, you can minimize your intake. Water usage or gas consumption, you can reduce. But love? Heck, no. Do you give a little less than what you usually give? How can you show a little less than what you usually show? You either love, or you don't, right?

Everything reaches a plateau, they say and I believe in this - weight loss, relationships like marriage and friendship, and yes, even love. But until then, love shouldn't be treated that way. I don't know about you, I don't claim to be right and I'm not saying I am right, but I don't believe in loving halfway or somewhere between black and white. There are simply no grey areas. It's either 100% or zero zip zilch. Hindi pwedeng konti lang, or bawasan mo ng konti. It cannot be half-full or half-empty. Love, for me, should be as it is. Buong-buo, kumpleto, the works. Whole. Or it isn't love at all. I cannot imagine saying, 'O, hanggang dito lang kita mamahalin ha, hindi puwedeng lumampas sa linya.' Or 'Mahal kita, pero konti lang. Kasi yung natitira, ibibigay ko sa iba naman.'

To love wholeheartedly is to love unconditionally, to give it your all. Fully and completely. There's no holding back, or leaving a portion as "reserba". You don't withdraw, or build walls. And yes, loving wholeheartedly is to open yourself to the risks of getting hurt, to have the courage to risk rejection or loss, and to live knowing that even so, there are no guarantees.

~TheGoodGirl