Kaleidoscope

Take a slide in the slope
Take a look in the kaleidoscope
Spinnin' round, make it twirl
In this kaleidoscope world
- Music and lyrics by Francis M

Funny but only a month or so ago, Alex and I were talking over dinner, telling ourselves how our 2010 seemed to be like a roller coaster ride. There were ups and downs, and swirls and twirls. Sometimes, we felt like we were hanging upside down; sometimes, we felt like we were racing down a steep incline. During these times, we didn’t know if we would come out of the ride sane and alive.

“But it looks like we’re going to have a good ending,” we both said.

That was the time when Cae’s orthopaedic surgeon said her next check-up is after six months, seeing that her body is responding well to the brace. Not that her spine would go back to normal, but our objective was to at least prevent the curvature from worsening. And the time when Caehl’s developmental pediatrician declared that we graduate him from his occupational therapy sessions.

Truly, we had a tough time during the first months of the year, especially when Alex’s Tita was confined in the hospital and the expenses were too much for us. We had to stop Caehl’s monthly OT and ABA sessions. Then Cae’s dextroscoliosis was confirmed.

Yet somehow, God didn’t leave us alone. My promotion came in May, and there were “rackets” for both Alex and me (thank you, Wenchie) which provided us extra bucks. We are also fortunate to have my family (I will never get tired of saying that my parents and my siblings are the best on earth) and our household help, Ev and Ate Doobs, for giving us the needed support.

Our life was like a teleserye or reality show – full of drama, action, suspense and a little comedy (of course with me around).

These were the times when I fully appreciated the simple but priceless joys; the times when it seemed like you don’t want to understand what’s going on; the times when you just want to close your eyes, scream, and leave back your stomach during the ride.

“But it looks like we’re going to have a good ending,” we both said.

Perhaps we spoke too soon.

The phone call came last Dec. 8, a little over 12MN. After taking my youngest sister’s call, I went back to our bedroom like a zombie. I couldn’t believe what I just heard – that Papa was rushed to a hospital after a stroke. Papa? Stroke? Was that a joke?

Looking back now, the roller coaster became a kaleidoscope. The ride became scenes of varying colors and patterns, wherein the finale was saying our goodbye to Papa inside the crematory.

Up to now, I still cannot find the words and write something about him. For me, he is just somewhere. I miss him so much and I love him so much.

Yes, maybe, Alex and I spoke too soon. But we still believe that when we take a look in the kaleidoscope, there is a lot of goodness in our lives to be happy about, there is so much to be thankful about.

(Image from bindweed.com)