Love, Actually

With social media, I get to see and read about people breaking up with their partners, letting go, moving on…It saddens me to know about some friends who have decided to call it quits with their partners, after months or years of being together. Some of them are couples whom I thought would end up in the altar. The thought of investing yourself, your time, and love on one person, only to lose him or her in the end is a painful one – and just the mere thought of it is enough to break your heart, eh? This makes you sometimes give up on love, or be scared to love at all.

How soon does one heal? How swift does one move on? For some, that “soon” comes quickly. For some, it takes quite a while. For others, sad to say, never.

I guess there is really no stringent formula or a boxed set of rules to keep that love alive. Well, there are some good pieces of advice out there, but in real life, every relationship is distinct and as they say, the proof of the pudding is in the eating. There is trial and error along the way, and you win some, you lose some. And as Bob Ong* said. "Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa."

Before I met my husband, I’ve had my share of heartaches and emotera experiences. When I was younger, I loved the concept of love, of falling in love. There’s this indescribable feeling of looking forward to waking up and seeing that person or being with that person. Even if most of the time, it was unrequited for me. Ok lang, go lang nang go, push nang push.

When I got older, then came the real relationships. During that time though, surprisingly, I never saw forever in any of them. I think I was one-day-at-a-time then, there was no hope or prayer that it would be my last (well, things changed when I met Alex, but that’s another story). Happy-happy lang. If it didn’t work out, then ok, you sulk a little, then you go on with life.

But I guess, times have changed and things are different now. While love is still the same, with so many distractions, temptations, interruptions, and all those ‘tions, it is more difficult to find a person to be in love with and to stick with. With a lot of things on hand, available and ready for shipping, and with the changing social norms, the tendency is to give all you’ve got, your 110%. Yet, you have no assurance that he or she will be the last person in your life. Kasal na nga, may sideline pa, so what more if boyfriend-girlfriend lang. Even relationship statuses have become different.  It used to be that single was well, someone who is simply not married. Now, single takes on a new meaning - not in a relationship or no boyfriend or girlfriend. Then there’s the popular “It’s Complicated.” According to www.urbandictionary.com, it may refer to “a couple in an ambiguous state between "friends" and "in a relationship", a couple that can't decide to be friends, friends with benefits, or to be in a full out relationship. It may also be used to indicate multiple relationship (being with several people at once) or dissatisfaction with an existing relationship. Other meanings: any relationship that's not OK; holding on to something that's about to end; still hoping to work things out or in denial stage of separation.   

It’s really complicated, isn’t it?

As Tito Manuel, played by Roy Alvarez in My Husband’s Lover, put it, “Hindi ko na alam ang patakaran ngayon.”

The world may have gone upside down now, but love has certainly not lost its appeal, and it still does exist. Some have managed to find it, some are still in constant search of that honest-to-goodness one true love – M/F/LGBT, no matter how crazy our planet has become. And yes, Virginia, tama sila - Daig ng malandi ang maganda.

~TheGoodGirl

*Source: http://www.bazics.net/2011/03/tagalog-love-quotes-batch-2-by-bob-ong.html#ixzz2fsNibsqt