Generation Gap

Last night, my son said, “Mommy, I’m Generation Z. Do you know what comes after that?”

Of course, I don’t. Pardon my ignorance. He continued, “After Gen X, there’s Gen Y, and then Gen Z.”

Ahhhh, I said. So you’re a millennial.

Nooooo, he protested. That’s Ate!

Sorry! I got it all mixed up. And so, I came to know that after Gen Z, there will be Generation Alpha.

A research on Filipino millennials (Gen Y) described these people (born 1984-1995) as:

•       Likely to be living with parents and siblings.

•       Fond of sports, food-tripping and malling.

•       Having a liking for sleeping and just hanging out.

•       Keen on having a tattoo, playing an instrument or performing on stage.

•       Having a desire to be married and become parents someday.

•       Less likely to attend religious services; although faith and spirituality are still top needs.

•       Using the internet as much as TV.

•       Believers that Internet is a daily essential, and that social media has changed how they communicate with loved ones.

•       Spending a lot of time on movie marathons, video games and texting.

Checking out these traits, they do seem to aptly describe my daughter. Alex and I were discussing this a while back, and as we talked about these millennial behaviors, we agreed on one thing: us, parents, the GenX’ers partly have a hand in what the GenYs have become.

I say “partly”, because we cannot be blamed for everything, and some people might not agree with our conclusion. But most parents like us have this one thing in common: we don’t want our children to experience hardship. If we can provide everything to them to the best we can do, we would. We don’t want them to feel disappointment, pain, hunger, sickness, or poverty as much as possible. We send them to good schools. Hatid-sundo sila hanggang maaari. Kung pwede lang na tayo na ang magkasakit, instead of them, sasaluhin na natin.

Of course, as parents, it is our obligation to support them and to give them what they need. But sometimes, our good intentions do not yield good results. Sometimes it spoils them. Na parang we do things for them kasi dapat lang. Minsan nawawalan na ng appreciation. The study said that unlike their predecessors who try to provide for their families (especially materially and financially), the Gen Y does not feel obliged to financially provide for this family. This means that for a millennial, the fact that he is not a burden to his family is already enough. It does not mean that he does not value his family, but to be financially independent is in itself a manifestation of that.

Some millennials also tend to lose motivation, or the desire to strive hard, kasi andyan naman sina Daddy and Mommy. So what if his studies take time, instead of 4 years, some would be pa-easy easy. May tuition provider naman, and he does not have to worry about his schooling expenses. Or “Wag munang magtrabaho, hindi naman ako inaasahan sa bahay.” Materially, we buy many things for them, to make it easier for them. Ayaw natin silang magcommute, so we buy cars for them or hire a driver. Unlike most of us, who had to work first before acquiring our first vehicle. Most houses have wireless routers, para hindi mahirapan sa homework or research projects. Tayo nun, typewriter lang or computer rental in a nearby shop. And yes, library pa rin. Paxerox-xerox sa Dapitan. Mobile phones, laptop, PS4, tablets – name it, they have it. Branded items. The latest stuff. Sometimes, the consequence of not having (or learning) things the hard way is they don’t appreciate what they have. Kasi they got it easily. Walang kahirap-hirap.

Some millennials wouldn’t hesitate to follow their passions. Even if it’s not financially rewarding. Tayo nun, dapat nursing. Or engineering. Basta yung in demand ang job. Because we have to support our families later on. Sila, they can take up photography or media arts, or anything they want. I’m not saying it’s wrong. But it’s because they believe that the financial rewards will come later, after pursuing their passion.

They are also vocal about their feelings, and will not hesitate to express their opinions. Tayo nun, pag pinagsasabihan or pinapagalitan ng parents, tahimik lang. Hindi ka pwedeng sumagot (or else, hihiram ka ng mukha sa aso.) Now, they have to say what they want to say, at that moment. Sasagot at sasagot. I don’t know if this is something to be proud of, but I have never talked back to my parents. Tahimik lang ako, and I would just cry. If ever I had something to say, sa mga kapatid ko na lang or to myself. Pag nagagalit si Papa or si Mama, I would hold my peace. Pag kailangang sumagot (dahil tinanong ako), that’s only the time when I would say something. Hence TheGoodGirl monicker. My sisters are in a league of their own. Sila matapang. LOL. 

I have always believed that even if I didn’t do something wrong, or even if I know that I am right, I don’t have the right to talk back to them. Up to this day, I hold on to that belief. To always listen to your parents – not because they are always right. But because they want what’s best for you, and they have more experiences of being wrong.

They also feel that they have to be always busy, or active, or doing something. Walang kapaguran. Even if it means staying up late or doing many things at the same time. Multi-tasking. The TV is on, they’re glued to their phones or tablets. May ka-Viber. Naka-FB. Or naka-headset. The laptop is also on.

And they communicate with you through Facebook, or Twitter, or Instagram. I remember my dad telling my siblings that among us, ako lang daw ang nagsasabi palagi kung asan ako. Even without him asking. And yes, even if I’m already married, ganun pa rin daw ako. I would tell him where I was, wherever I am – through text or a phone call. And how he appreciated that. GoodGirl nga eh. I'm proud to say that even if she and I sometimes fight, my daughter is like me in this aspect. She never forgets to tell us where she is. That's why I trust her that much. 

I am not saying that our generation is better, or that there’s something wrong with theirs (our kids’). Or that we were raised better by the Baby Boomers. It’s just that perhaps, we should adapt to whatever is on hand. This is today. This is Generation Now. Times are changing. Life is a constant change. We live in a dynamic world. And we have to keep up. Or perish.

But what I wish to emphasize is that even if times have changed, and some things are no longer relevant and applicable, there’s nothing wrong in holding on to our core values. Or following what the oldies-but-goodies have taught us and instilled in us. There’s still a lot of goodness in being good, doing good, and believing in all things that are good. Even up to Generation Omega.

~TheGoodGirl

Words from TheGoodGirl: Death Anniversary

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure, measure a year?

-         - Seasons of Love (Rent)

It has been a year.

And what a year it has been.

If I were to paint it, I might run out of colors.

If I were to sing about it, I’d run out of tunes.

And if I were to write about it, I’d probably run out of words.

And I still wouldn't be able to describe it,

Decipher it,

Explain it,

Or even end it.

Only you could bring about this kind of pain

And only you have the power to take it away,

Or stop it from coming.

Thank you for the memories.

~TheGoodGirl

Use your gift(s) to serve others

1 Peter 4:10

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms.

Recently, I came across this bible verse (thanks, Lay). Which led me to thinking, what gift do I have? What gift can I use to be relevant to others? What do I do best that I can share with others?

When I took the Five Love Languages Quiz http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ years ago, I found out that my love language is acts of service. I didn’t know then but I do know now that I am on my best mode when I am doing something for someone, and I love it when I do something for people without being asked or told. 

Yet, this is somehow perplexing. I am a writer and I say it best through words. Sometimes, my actions do not speak for what I truly feel, or what I truly want. Or what I really want to say. Sometimes what you see is not what you get from me. I am an unusual creature. Most of the time, I show my love through other means. Sometimes, I express it through silence. Or by doing things silently. You don’t have to tell me what to do. It’s already done. My boss once told me that I am a silent worker. I do not brag about the things I do or have done, they're just done. You don’t have to say you need me. I’m already there. Which is often misinterpreted by people as indifference. Even my own daughter says I don’t show that I care. I do. I care a lot. It’s just that I show it in my own different way.

People do not believe that I am an introvert and shy person. True, I have always been shy. And reserved. But that’s not how people see me. I think this is something that only my father knew. On stage, I can be the ultimate emcee. And I can write loudly, if you know what I mean. Well, close friends would never describe me as quiet. But in bad times, and you need someone who can and who will listen to you, I can be the best person to be with. If you want my opinion, I can readily give it to you. But if you hate unsolicited advice, it’s fine. I am comfortable in silence and I can just sit beside you, just hearing you out. 

If you need cheering up, it’s fine by me, too. People often tell me sumasakit ang panga nila sa akin. Randy would say, “Bangag ka ba?” Friends tell me I always have a punchline, and I can cull out a joke from just anything. And that my laughter is contagious. From our President, MBO: Pam, I will miss your quips. I treat each and every emceeing or hosting job differently. Each job is special. Oo naman, kinakabahan pa rin ako each time. And I always give my 100% - be it a small stint, or a major one. Because it’s what I do best. Or at least I would like to think so. Making people laugh, entertaining them – be it on stage or through my writings - is something I want to do for the rest of my life. And if it is my way of serving others, then I am okay with that.

~TheGoodGirl