Rainy Days and Mondays

 “(It) can’t rain all the time.”

-         - Eric Draven, The Crow (1994)

From @macmacshutterbug

What is it about the rain that makes you feel lazy...that makes you just want to curl up in bed and stay in your room forever. What is it about the rain that makes you feel blue, sad and gloomy?

I used to hate the rain. Rains have this effect on me. When it pours, I can't help but look out of the window and reflect on life and the stuff it's made of. It makes me sad. I remember when we were still kids, we would draw up images of the sun on the ground using chalk to make the rain go away. But we would all enjoy taking a rain bath.

As a grown-up, how I hated walking in the rain, with mud splattering on my legs or my jeans. And there are people who don’t know how to carry umbrellas, mabunggo ka kung mabubunggo. Ang hirap sumakay, ang daming commuters, traffic, siksikan. Ayoko ng masikip, ayoko ng maputik.

Yet there are happy rain memories. Like wading along flooded streets and holding hands with someone during my college days in UST. Name the street, baha for sure - España, P. Noval, Gov. Forbes (now Lacson), Dapitan. Wala kang ligtas. Sometimes we would stay late in school, at the AB Student Council office, or any vacant room, or just the hallways, waiting for the pouring to stop. Going home, a ride would be hard to find but we would keep on laughing just the same, making fun of our situation. And even now, I can still remember the days Alex (then my boyfriend) would pick me up in my office in Mandaluyong, we would share an umbrella with his arms around me, walking towards Crossing, wet but happy because we were together.

Rains also remind me of people I love, people I miss the most, people I would want to be with at that precise moment. How I wish I can protect them all from the torrent. That we would be safe and warm together, having something hot to drink or eat, reading a book, listening to music or watching a movie, sitting side by side, having a conversation or just enjoying the silence. Or if you're on the road, inside the car, with the wipers moving back and forth frantically, who cares as long as you are together. Never mind the violent flow outside. Just listen to its rhythm as you drive home safely, with music on, talking in low voices, or perhaps laughing together.

The rain makes me want to write. It seems ironic, but somehow it brings a warm nostalgic feeling, that it inspires you to share something of yourself with people.

So maybe…there’s another way to look at it...There’s something about the rain that reminds you to focus on the brighter side of life, count your blessings, and wait for the rainbow.

Does the rain make you feel the same?

~TheGoodGirl

September Seventeen

It’s my favorite date of the year – maybe next to Christmas. It’s my day. And there are three things the kid in me used to look forward to (the most) each time – my grandparents’ and aunt’s birthday cards from the mail (with a dollar slipped inside), my father’s text (in all caps – HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANAK! LOVE, PAPA AND MAMA), and my mom’s phone call.

Mama would call me up as soon as I get home from church. She knows I go to the 6am mass, and that I’m home on a birthday leave. And just hearing her voice comforts me and reminds me of how thankful I am for being their daughter, and for having my siblings whom I love so much.

Usually I’m alone at this time of the day, without my three CAEs...enjoying my "ME" time, having breakfast, replying to Facebook, Twitter, Viber and SMS greetings. I would count my blessings, grateful for each and every item on my list, and yes, write my birthday blog – the one you’re reading now.

There are many things to be thankful for. But I have always written about them every year, enumerating them one by one. This time though, I want to list them down in silence, for they are best left in the place where it matters most - my heart.

Even if a lot of good things have happened to me, I have always believed that better things are yet to come. "Hope is a good thing. And maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies."

I am 44. Thank You Lord. My prayers may often go unanswered but You gave me more than enough, and You gave me so much more. More than I have ever hoped for. More than I deserve.

~TheGoodGirl 

The Nose Knows

"There is no accounting for love or why one look, one casual touch...one breath of perfumed air can ignite feelings so strong it's almost painful..."

-Alex & Emma, 2003

If there's one human sense that I loved the most, it would be the sense of smell (olfaction). If only for the way it sparks memories. Am I making sense?

I am sure that most of you have experienced catching a chance whiff of something and that transported you back to a particular time and place in your life. How does the brain anatomy allow certain smells to do that? What is the science behind this? Why do certain odors trigger or evoke emotional memories? And have the power to even unlock forgotten memories and associations?

I have this book (Private Pleasures by my all-time favorite Lawrence Sanders) which dealt with hormones and chemical reactions. It said that certain fragrances give a feeling of romance, intimacy and warm understanding. That there's one which would make you recall your first kiss, your wedding day, the birth of your first child; one that can bring back memories of happy days and enchanted nights, among others.

I read that anatomically, as explained by a neuroscientist who is an expert on olfactory memory, “The olfactory system has unique connections with two key regions in the brain's temporal lobe: the hippocampus, which is critical for laying down new long-term memories, and the amygdala, critical for processing emotions. Unlike all the other senses (i.e., vision, touch and hearing), which require many connections — synapses — to reach the hippocampus and amygdala, olfactory information has immediate access to those systems. It therefore has the ability to lay down long-lasting memories linked to particular times and places (a specialty of the hippocampus) and to include deep emotional resonance associated with those memories (processed by the amygdala).”

I remember Alex's ‘Eternity’ torturing me to death when I was on my first trimester with Cae and I would always throw up, the same with Safeguard green variant. I don’t know if it still exists today. Blech! There's also ‘Anais Anais’, which reminds me of my good friend Nessa in Australia, and from which my daughter got her name. ‘Miracle’ would always remind me of my husband, the way ‘Chic Petals' never fails to remind me of rainy afternoons, while waiting for a friend. My ‘Crazy Girl’ cologne once prompted Caehl to ask, “Mommy, what did you put on? It reminds me of cake.” My Hugo collection would also remind me of ex-loves, while Benetton Colours would always bring back memories of my first job.

I love the smell of freshly washed linen, freshly cut grass, and newly shampooed hair. I love the smell of shampoo on my hair each time I wake up in the morning. I love the scent of books, both old and new. I love spices. I love the scent of Vicks. And lavender. Peppermint. And new cars. I love tearing open a fresh bar of soap, and soaps remind me of my late Papa whose cheeks would always smell so nice. My son's kili-kili. I love the smell of lemon, of lime. Green apples. Cucumbers. Vanilla. And do you remember those packages or tissue-lined imported items sent to you by relatives from abroad? Do you agree with me that the stuff they send you has a distinctive smell (amoy-imported)?

There's also a scent that used to remind me of my late aunt, and days after she passed away, I would always pass by her bedroom to keep her alive. And then there are smells that remind me of college days, those rainy years in UST. There are scents that remind me of sunsets. And warm nights. And damp afternoons with a loved one. Of mauves and purples. Of yellows and oranges. Do rains smell? And do colors have scents? Hahaha I don't know.

I recall my niece Meg, when she was younger, and how she wouldn't let go of the shirt her mom wore the night before, because she’d find her comfort in there while my sister is out on an errand. The way old cupboards would bring you wonderful memories of your childhood, and happy moments with your grandparents. The way grade school students, as soon as they come out of their classrooms, would smell of rubber erasers and you would suddenly remember your good old school days.

Sometimes these memories are just lodged in your mind, entangled with all the other memories. Some of them are untouched, unspoken, and forgotten - whether intentional or unintentional. But it would take only one whiff, and they come rushing back and you start remembering. Again.

~TheGoodGirl