Oscar the Grouch

I remember when Alex and I were just starting to see each other, I asked him what he liked in me. And he said it was my cheerful disposition and sense of humor that attracted him to me. “You are like sunshine on a rainy day,” he said something to this effect. He told me that I seem to be always happy, and to him, there was never a dull moment with me.

Bakit may masungit na tao? Of course, we all have problems, stressors, bad hair days, and bad times. But there are people who are naturally ill-tempered, short-tempered, sulky, irritable. They have this innate surliness. I admit, I have my down times, and I am not always this cheerful. I am a woman, I have PMS, and I have mood swings. There are times when I slip into this grouchy mode but I am not masungit by nature. As one who is known to be jolly, I don’t want to be caught off-guard, I always try to be on my happy side most of the times. I don’t like people having this first impression of me that I am grouchy. Especially now that I’m already considered a “tita”, I don't want people to say “Ang tanda na kasi, kaya masungit.” Or worse, “Maganda nga, masungit naman.” LOL

There’s this Mr. Assimo, a character in Bubble Gang, an overly irate man played by Michael V. who seems to complain about everything, has no good word for anything, finding everything not to his liking. Pero bakit nga ba may masungit na tao? These are the ones na umaga pa lang, parang wala na sa mood agad. You greet them, you talk to them, parang wala lang, parang walang nakikita or naririnig. They can’t even return your greeting, parang may bayad palagi ang ngiti. Yung harap-harapang pagsusungit. If your day or morning isn’t great, don’t blame it on others, or don’t dump it on other people. There are people who are terminally irritable in the morning, and there are people na sabi nga, habang nagkaka-edad, sumusungit. Yung walang lovelife (or s*x life). Excuse me po, tabi-tabi lang. There are people who feel it has to be on their own terms when and when not to be masungit. Ayaw kitang batiin, eh bakit ba. Of course, death or loss or sickness is excuse enough, and there are a lot of reasons to be grumpy – waking up on the wrong side of the bed, lack of sleep, heavy traffic, fight with your partner, boredom, empty wallet. But come on, for the rest, it can’t be that bad that you have to be like this every day and you take it out on people who are just being nice to you. Nakakapagod din naman magsungit. Hindi ka ba napapagod?

Life is short. Stay connected, stay positive. Be like the fairy dust or stars, or a lake when the sun hits it just right — all of these things sparkle. Be a source of joy, shine above the rest, and don’t be afraid to sparkle a little bit brighter.

~TheGoodGirl

The Mathematics of Love

@talesofthegoodgirl

My late father used to say, you don't divide love (hindi hinahati ang pag-ibig), instead you multiply it.

By all means, I get it when they say you can add love. Love a little more. But I don't understand when they say you subtract (love). How can you love less? How can someone love a little less? How do you do that? Bawasan mo ang pagmamahal mo. Huwag mong ibigay lahat. Huwag ka masyadong magmahal. Huwag mo siya masyadong mahalin. Magtira ka para sa sarili mo. Huwag 100%.

We don't fall in love or love or give love the same way. Each and every one of us does it differently. It may be the same kind of love but we all have our own way of loving or showing it. When you say bawasan, how do you lessen or reduce the level? Unlike hair that you can shave, or snow that you can scrape, love is something that's either this much or none at all. I don't know how to make bawas. Food, you can minimize your intake. Water usage or gas consumption, you can reduce. But love? Heck, no. Do you give a little less than what you usually give? How can you show a little less than what you usually show? You either love, or you don't, right?

Everything reaches a plateau, they say and I believe in this - weight loss, relationships like marriage and friendship, and yes, even love. But until then, love shouldn't be treated that way. I don't know about you, I don't claim to be right and I'm not saying I am right, but I don't believe in loving halfway or somewhere between black and white. There are simply no grey areas. It's either 100% or zero zip zilch. Hindi pwedeng konti lang, or bawasan mo ng konti. It cannot be half-full or half-empty. Love, for me, should be as it is. Buong-buo, kumpleto, the works. Whole. Or it isn't love at all. I cannot imagine saying, 'O, hanggang dito lang kita mamahalin ha, hindi puwedeng lumampas sa linya.' Or 'Mahal kita, pero konti lang. Kasi yung natitira, ibibigay ko sa iba naman.'

To love wholeheartedly is to love unconditionally, to give it your all. Fully and completely. There's no holding back, or leaving a portion as "reserba". You don't withdraw, or build walls. And yes, loving wholeheartedly is to open yourself to the risks of getting hurt, to have the courage to risk rejection or loss, and to live knowing that even so, there are no guarantees.

~TheGoodGirl