The Mathematics of Love

@talesofthegoodgirl

My late father used to say, you don't divide love (hindi hinahati ang pag-ibig), instead you multiply it.

By all means, I get it when they say you can add love. Love a little more. But I don't understand when they say you subtract (love). How can you love less? How can someone love a little less? How do you do that? Bawasan mo ang pagmamahal mo. Huwag mong ibigay lahat. Huwag ka masyadong magmahal. Huwag mo siya masyadong mahalin. Magtira ka para sa sarili mo. Huwag 100%.

We don't fall in love or love or give love the same way. Each and every one of us does it differently. It may be the same kind of love but we all have our own way of loving or showing it. When you say bawasan, how do you lessen or reduce the level? Unlike hair that you can shave, or snow that you can scrape, love is something that's either this much or none at all. I don't know how to make bawas. Food, you can minimize your intake. Water usage or gas consumption, you can reduce. But love? Heck, no. Do you give a little less than what you usually give? How can you show a little less than what you usually show? You either love, or you don't, right?

Everything reaches a plateau, they say and I believe in this - weight loss, relationships like marriage and friendship, and yes, even love. But until then, love shouldn't be treated that way. I don't know about you, I don't claim to be right and I'm not saying I am right, but I don't believe in loving halfway or somewhere between black and white. There are simply no grey areas. It's either 100% or zero zip zilch. Hindi pwedeng konti lang, or bawasan mo ng konti. It cannot be half-full or half-empty. Love, for me, should be as it is. Buong-buo, kumpleto, the works. Whole. Or it isn't love at all. I cannot imagine saying, 'O, hanggang dito lang kita mamahalin ha, hindi puwedeng lumampas sa linya.' Or 'Mahal kita, pero konti lang. Kasi yung natitira, ibibigay ko sa iba naman.'

To love wholeheartedly is to love unconditionally, to give it your all. Fully and completely. There's no holding back, or leaving a portion as "reserba". You don't withdraw, or build walls. And yes, loving wholeheartedly is to open yourself to the risks of getting hurt, to have the courage to risk rejection or loss, and to live knowing that even so, there are no guarantees.

~TheGoodGirl