“Every one of us is losing something precious
to us. Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back
again. That’s part of what it means to be alive.”
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| Thank you for everything, and for the inspiration behind this blog. |
(I have not been blogging for quite some time.
Aside from being busy, I just couldn’t seem to find an appropriate topic. Ironic
though that when I finally did have a topic – it’s about loss.)
A loss is something I do not want to write
about. Unless it is weight loss. Kidding aside, if there’s one topic which I don’t
look forward to write about or that I find difficult to be objective about, it
is on loss of a loved one or losing someone you love. I just cannot be detached
from the topic. And even if I want to write about it and share my experience, I
would keep on postponing it or setting it aside. Hey, it is a downer topic.
Nobody wants to read about sadness. Or pain. The same way that I do not want to
be reminded of people whom I have lost – be it because of death, separation, or
relationship breakup. And when I do get to write about it, I wear my heart on
my sleeve, embarrassingly opening my soul to everyone.
So many poems and love songs have been written about
losing someone you love (Taylor Swift, are you listening?). Loss is real. Grief
is real. (A) loss is a deep personal
experience. We all have our own share of losing someone and we all have our own
coping mechanisms, and maybe there is no right or wrong way to deal with it. If
you have ever lost someone – parent, spouse, sibling, child, friend, a pet even
- you would know how it feels and how it tears you apart. The pain, the guilt, the
bitterness, the mourning, the yearning, the struggle. Enduring it is one thing, forgetting and
moving on is another. A good friend, Jannette, even said, “(There is) no alternative. Wala kang choice. You cannot run away from
it. Wala kasing kapalit yung nawala mo. There is no replacement (of the loss). Talagang
pagdudusahan mo.” There is no other way to put it. You really have to go
through it. Walang short-cut. There is no immediate cure, you will really have
to help yourself to heal. Well, there would be other people to help you out or
to support you. But in the end, only you can say that “Kaya ko ito, I will be ok.”
Cry if you have to. Grieve. Mourn. But the most important thing is, you rise above
the pain. Nothing is permanent. Nothing stays. But hope endures and faith remains. Tough times don't last, but tough people do. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Everything will be all right in the end. Maybe
not this moment, maybe not today, or tomorrow. But someday. That day will come. Even
though the process may be slow or may take a long time, the day will come that
the wounds will heal. It may not make you forget totally, but at least, in the end, time
will help you forget the pain that came with the loss. When a bad thing
happens, such as a loss, they say that you have three choices – you can either
let it define you, let it destroy you or let it strengthen you. It’s really up
to you. Let go of things that hinder your growth, or happiness, or freedom. Free yourself. Let go of
feelings that won’t help. Focus on the good and positive. Find yourself. And always remember and live the lessons learned from the
loss.
“Scars mean you fought. Wrinkles mean you
lived. Heartache means you loved.”
― Matshona Dhliwayo
~TheGoodGirl
