B(r)e(a)st Wishes Part 3

And so eto na nga, after two weeks of waiting (hindi ka makatulog, lagi mo iniisip kung malapit ka na mamatay, yes ganun ka-morbid. Lord, kailangan pa po ako ng mga anak ko 😭😭😭) and calling and exchanging texts and PMs with my doctor and with the histopath nurse, I got their separate messages that the results are in. Mainit-init pa...

Final diagnosis: ductal carcinoma in situ, moderate grade. Hindi cancer but it can be, it can progress to that. Kaya continue ang monitoring. What I am thankful for is buti naalis ng buo. Buti naagapan. Hindi pa kumalat. What if, hindi ko pinapansin yung advice na magpacheck ako. It could have been worse. Our decision to choose surgery was indeed correct. Follow up ultrasound after 3 months (na tumawad pa ko. Doc, sabi ko, pwede po ba January na lang? Na-max out ko na po kasi ang outpatient benefit ko. Pumayag naman). But wait, there's more: may additional test on the specimen to check if it will react to the meds, if yes, ayun bibigyan ako ng meds, parang hormone therapy daw. As Doc Bing said, let's do what we have to do, whether I can reimburse it pa or not. Another two weeks of waiting. But at least now, I can say, it's not cancer. At hindi pa ko madededz (read: masamang damo LOL) ☠☠☠

A few takeaways:

Don't take APEs and results/recommendations for granted. While our bodies don't lie, may sasakit at sasakit later on (lalo na sa mga ehem 40s na gaya ko), minsan, traydor din eh. Hindi mo alam na meron na palang something kasi hindi mo naman nakakapa or napapansin, you feel ok, walang masakit. 😷😷😷

If you are postponing surgical procedures or any medical ek ek, kasi feeling mo mahirap isingit sa trabaho, eh mali tayo. Hindi mauubos ang trabaho, pero ang panahon, oo. Don't feel like hihinto ang pagikot ng mundo kasi wala ka. Your team mates will understand. If you have the means, the resources, the support, unahin mo ang health (with emphasis on the means, resources - kasi baka ma-offend yung iba, sabihin porke ikaw narereimburse mo). I realized that you cannot do your job well kung may health problem ka or health concerns. Araw-araw, may iniisip ka, may iniinda ka. Pano mo haharapin ang projects mo nang maayos? Hindi masama ang self-care. True, natambakan ako after 2 weeks, and ang hirap mag-bounce back, para kong disoriented. Di ko alam where to start. Pero at least, na-X mo na siya sa To Do list mo. And yung walang kapalit na peace of mind. Bawi na lang 👩‍⚕️👩‍⚕️👩‍⚕️

I am blessed to have a support system. I have my loving family and friends, and colleagues na parang mga kapatid ko na rin. Yung prayers, yung concern. Ramdam mo eh. Nakakahiya actually magkwento ng mga health problems, minsan hindi ka comfortable, or yung kausap mo may not be comfortable. Lalo na kung gender-specific yung condition. But some things need to be shared, some tales have to be told. Hindi mo pwedeng i-contain sa sarili mo. Blessed to have my siblings. And a few close friends. Get help, if you must. Gaya ng kumare ko, Mareng Dra. Joy, special shout-out sa iyo. Love you, bagets. You are a proof na totoo ang statement na "I am just a message away" at hindi fake news. Doktora ng Bayan na always very generous and accommodating. Sa kanya ako actually nag-trust. Whenever she gives me medical advice, sinusunod ko talaga. Ng buong family even. Sabi ko, if Joy told me, Pam wag ka magpa-surgery, wag muna. Magpa-2nd opinion ka. Susundin ko sya talaga. That's what happened nun sa thyroid concerns ko. She also referred me to my endocrinologist whom I have been seeing for 4 years now. Ganyan ako ka-clingy LOL 🤗🤗🤗

Lastly, naramdaman ko ang bunga ng pagtratrabaho nang mahusay. Yung alam mo na may malasakit sa iyo. Na kahit minsan, gumagapang na ko sa pagpasok (ang OA, wfh nga eh), my Company loves me back. The feeling is mutual. Kung pano ko siya mahal, ganun din nya ko kamahal. I love you, InLife. 💙🧡 #ALifetimeForGood

So...this is all for now. Thank you for dropping by. My story is not yet The End. But I have to move on...Life goes on...and the Lord is watching over us. Kahit minsan, hindi natin deserved. 🙏🙏🙏

~talesofthegoodgirl

B(r)e(a)st Wishes Part 2

Part 2

Rewind to 2019

After our annual physical exam (kaya nga ba lagi ko ako kinakabahan pag may ganito eh) last March 2019, the recommendations included a regular mammogram and ultrasound as the doctor felt something on my left breast. I had both M&U in April and naalala ko pa, I asked permission to go on leave para dito (Holy Wednesday yun, half day na lang ang mga clinics) pero I was not allowed kasi may meeting daw kami 😭😭😭 

Although I got a benign finding, the reports said to have an annual mammogram and 6 months short interval follow-up ultrasound. Masunurin naman ako, so October, I had them again, with ganun uli, 6 months short interval follow-up.

If not for the pandemic this year, I would have had my follow up last April. Dahil masunurin nga, as soon as nalift yung ECQ, I asked for a request from Doc Bing, our company doctor para makapunta na ko uli sa Hi-P. So, ayun, 3rd trip na last Sept 8. And the 3rd time's not a charm. 😔😔😔

I got a BIRADS Category 4A finding, low suspicion for malignancy. Meron daw "ill-defined hypodensity" sa left breast ko. Thing is, hindi yun yung minomonitor for the past year, iba pa. Yung una kasi, sa inner quadrant. Now, while still sa left, nasa other side. And super sakit po ng ultrasound. Yung mammo, surprisingly, hindi eh. 

Upon Doc Bing's advice, I tried to check out popular breast surgeons but I didn't know where to start. Parang lost ako and I was worried na mahirap makahanap ng slot or makakuha ng appointment. I consulted my ever reliable kumare, who referred me to a colleague in Medical Center Muntinlupa (MCM). So ayun, I was told the mass (palpable and painful na ever since the ultrasound, ikaw ba naman diinan nang diinan) should either be biopsied or removed. Although 80% naman daw ng ganitong cases are benign. 🙏🙏🙏

Of course, the mere thought of undergoing surgery, hindi madali i-process, yung anxiety, yung sleepless nights...but at the same time, you have to decide agad. I opted for it over biopsy because I was assured that only the mass will be removed. Unlike my predicament 4 years ago (na buti na lang nagpabiopsy lang ako because it turned out removing my thyroids was unnecessary). Tapos ang dami pa protocols ngayon. Ang hirap magpa-hospital. And ang dami kong trabaho! Sabi ko kay Lord, magbibirthday po muna ko ha. Makapagcelebrate po muna...

Fast forward, nagpaschedule na ko last Sept 26, a Saturday but was moved to Sept 28 due to the anesthesiologist's availability (later ko na lang nadiscover na popular pala siya!). Shout-out po to our HR and corporate accounts, aside from Doc Bing, who were very helpful and patient and accommodating. Salamat po sa inyo. Had to complete the required tests, including swab test, at least a week before. Kaya po nung birthday ko, nasa hospital ako for the first part of the day. Torture din yung paghintay ng results. Pano kung positive, pano kung may problem sa ECG or xray or blood test. Tanong, masakit ba yung swab test. By the time na naramdaman ko yung sundot sa ilong, at muntik ko na masipa yung nurse, eh tapos na pala LOL 😆😆😆

On our way to the hospital para magpa-admit, clutching my rosary, bigla ako napaisip. Tama ba na hindi na ko nagconsult sa ibang doctors? Yung mga what-ifs ko, biglang nagsulputan. Pero andyan na eh. Kasabay ko sa ER was a guy na nadulas sa workplace kaya hinatid ng kasamahan, bloodied :( waaahhhhhh 😰😰😰

So yun na nga. Nung inaalis na yung IV nung umaga, except dun sa pinapasukan ng antibiotics, yahoooo medyo ok na ko, wala nang hawak na sabitan pag magC-CR, excited na ko to go home. I was discharged Sept 29, na wala ni piso akong binayad sa MCM. Sabi ko naku, mukhang may excess ako nito, seeing my bill. Nagulat din ako na ganun pala kamahal. Itataya ko na 13th month ko na pambayad.  Later on, I was informed that InLife covered everything. This too merits a special shout out. Salamat, InLife. I was so touched and was moved to tears when I got the text. May reimbursement pa ko, oh my God.

So ang tawag po ay partial mastectomy. Partial lang po, at 'intact" pa. Thank you to my surgeon, anesthesiologist and nurses for taking care of me. While on leave, naging therapy ko si Add to Cart  and I was able to spend time with my kids. The bliss of waking up na walang alarm  Pero masakit po sya, sa totoo lang. As mentioned, malalim po ang naiwan. Sa gabi, hindi po ako nakakatulog sa paghanap ng tamang pwesto because I couldn't sleep either on my left or right side...and it's painful when it's cold or raining. Thus, the pain relievers. I have a high tolerance for pain, pero sabi po ng doctor ko, wag ko tiisin. Plus I had to wear the elastic bandage over the dressing for a week, inaalis lang pag maliligo.

Yung follow up check-up ko a week after, nun lang inalis yung dressing, so first time ko nakita ang 'bikini cut' ko sa dibdib. Ampanget po, pramis. Depressing :( 😔😔😔

The histopath report took a long while. I was already "back-to-work" when my doctor got it last Oct 12. Kaya hindi po ako makapagkwento agad, I was waiting for the findings. Kaya apologies po sa mga nagtatanong kung ano ang nangyari at hindi ko po kayo masagot. And another thing, medyo nakakahiya din po di ba. Medyo personal and sensitive…And my story has no ending yet. Yung pabalik-balik ka sa hospital, kabisado mo na yung health declaration form, ulit ulit ang rosary mo, tapos yung kasabay ko na naman sa OPD triage, nakalulon ng bubog. What?!! Lord, why me :( 😨😨😨

Diagnosis: fibrocystic change with focal atypical intraductal hyperplasia. Paki-Google na lang please 😆😆😆 But wait there's more. An immunohistochemical staining test with CK5 was requested to rule out malignancy. Dun tayo sa word na "atypical", yun ang dahilan why balik na naman ako sa lab last Oct 16 to submit the request and payment. And eto na naman ang matagal na hintayan...To be continued...

B(r)e(a)st Wishes Part 1

SEPT. 28, 2020. Exactly a month ago, I was picked up from my room at 930am (after being prepped by my nurse "Ariane." Of course, her name isn't Ariane but she reminded me of an officemate) and was wheeled into the operating room for my 10am surgery. 🏩

I waited, slept on and off, comforted by the presence of the kind OR nurse whom I named “Kate” on my mind as she also reminded me of another officemate, until the doctors arrived an hour and a half later. My anesthesiologist asked me jokingly, ano pong naramdaman ninyo nung nagnegative kayo sa swab test? Para po ba kayong nanalo sa lotto? 😁😁😁

The last words I heard were, Matutulog na po kayo. 😴😴😴

I am not sure if 'Kate' woke me up or if I did so myself, but she said ibabalik na ko sa room. I asked for the time (malabo mata, walang contacts so I couldn't see kung anong oras na sa wall clock). One-thirty po, she said. The procedure lasted for an hour and I was dead to the world for another. 💤💤💤

Once back in the room, I peeped inside my hospital gown and saw that I was wearing a binder wrapped around my chest. My surgeon called on me after a while, saying I could eat already and that she will have me discharged the following day. Our initial agreement was I could go home that same day. But she advised me to rest for another night, as the cavity was deep and that if ever it hurts so bad, at least I have nurses to attend to me. On and off I slept, checking my phone for messages, telling my loved ones that I made it and that I'll be home Tuesday instead. i thought nareplyan ko na yung iba, only to discover that I fell asleep and hindi pa pala 😁😁😁 I asked for mushroom soup from McDo (even though I can have solids already), as I wanted something warm. It was hard to move around with the IV, but you just have to get by...to be continued...