B(r)e(a)st Wishes Part 3

And so eto na nga, after two weeks of waiting (hindi ka makatulog, lagi mo iniisip kung malapit ka na mamatay, yes ganun ka-morbid. Lord, kailangan pa po ako ng mga anak ko 😭😭😭) and calling and exchanging texts and PMs with my doctor and with the histopath nurse, I got their separate messages that the results are in. Mainit-init pa...

Final diagnosis: ductal carcinoma in situ, moderate grade. Hindi cancer but it can be, it can progress to that. Kaya continue ang monitoring. What I am thankful for is buti naalis ng buo. Buti naagapan. Hindi pa kumalat. What if, hindi ko pinapansin yung advice na magpacheck ako. It could have been worse. Our decision to choose surgery was indeed correct. Follow up ultrasound after 3 months (na tumawad pa ko. Doc, sabi ko, pwede po ba January na lang? Na-max out ko na po kasi ang outpatient benefit ko. Pumayag naman). But wait, there's more: may additional test on the specimen to check if it will react to the meds, if yes, ayun bibigyan ako ng meds, parang hormone therapy daw. As Doc Bing said, let's do what we have to do, whether I can reimburse it pa or not. Another two weeks of waiting. But at least now, I can say, it's not cancer. At hindi pa ko madededz (read: masamang damo LOL) ☠☠☠

A few takeaways:

Don't take APEs and results/recommendations for granted. While our bodies don't lie, may sasakit at sasakit later on (lalo na sa mga ehem 40s na gaya ko), minsan, traydor din eh. Hindi mo alam na meron na palang something kasi hindi mo naman nakakapa or napapansin, you feel ok, walang masakit. 😷😷😷

If you are postponing surgical procedures or any medical ek ek, kasi feeling mo mahirap isingit sa trabaho, eh mali tayo. Hindi mauubos ang trabaho, pero ang panahon, oo. Don't feel like hihinto ang pagikot ng mundo kasi wala ka. Your team mates will understand. If you have the means, the resources, the support, unahin mo ang health (with emphasis on the means, resources - kasi baka ma-offend yung iba, sabihin porke ikaw narereimburse mo). I realized that you cannot do your job well kung may health problem ka or health concerns. Araw-araw, may iniisip ka, may iniinda ka. Pano mo haharapin ang projects mo nang maayos? Hindi masama ang self-care. True, natambakan ako after 2 weeks, and ang hirap mag-bounce back, para kong disoriented. Di ko alam where to start. Pero at least, na-X mo na siya sa To Do list mo. And yung walang kapalit na peace of mind. Bawi na lang 👩‍⚕️👩‍⚕️👩‍⚕️

I am blessed to have a support system. I have my loving family and friends, and colleagues na parang mga kapatid ko na rin. Yung prayers, yung concern. Ramdam mo eh. Nakakahiya actually magkwento ng mga health problems, minsan hindi ka comfortable, or yung kausap mo may not be comfortable. Lalo na kung gender-specific yung condition. But some things need to be shared, some tales have to be told. Hindi mo pwedeng i-contain sa sarili mo. Blessed to have my siblings. And a few close friends. Get help, if you must. Gaya ng kumare ko, Mareng Dra. Joy, special shout-out sa iyo. Love you, bagets. You are a proof na totoo ang statement na "I am just a message away" at hindi fake news. Doktora ng Bayan na always very generous and accommodating. Sa kanya ako actually nag-trust. Whenever she gives me medical advice, sinusunod ko talaga. Ng buong family even. Sabi ko, if Joy told me, Pam wag ka magpa-surgery, wag muna. Magpa-2nd opinion ka. Susundin ko sya talaga. That's what happened nun sa thyroid concerns ko. She also referred me to my endocrinologist whom I have been seeing for 4 years now. Ganyan ako ka-clingy LOL 🤗🤗🤗

Lastly, naramdaman ko ang bunga ng pagtratrabaho nang mahusay. Yung alam mo na may malasakit sa iyo. Na kahit minsan, gumagapang na ko sa pagpasok (ang OA, wfh nga eh), my Company loves me back. The feeling is mutual. Kung pano ko siya mahal, ganun din nya ko kamahal. I love you, InLife. 💙🧡 #ALifetimeForGood

So...this is all for now. Thank you for dropping by. My story is not yet The End. But I have to move on...Life goes on...and the Lord is watching over us. Kahit minsan, hindi natin deserved. 🙏🙏🙏

~talesofthegoodgirl

B(r)e(a)st Wishes Part 1

SEPT. 28, 2020. Exactly a month ago, I was picked up from my room at 930am (after being prepped by my nurse "Ariane." Of course, her name isn't Ariane but she reminded me of an officemate) and was wheeled into the operating room for my 10am surgery. 🏩

I waited, slept on and off, comforted by the presence of the kind OR nurse whom I named “Kate” on my mind as she also reminded me of another officemate, until the doctors arrived an hour and a half later. My anesthesiologist asked me jokingly, ano pong naramdaman ninyo nung nagnegative kayo sa swab test? Para po ba kayong nanalo sa lotto? 😁😁😁

The last words I heard were, Matutulog na po kayo. 😴😴😴

I am not sure if 'Kate' woke me up or if I did so myself, but she said ibabalik na ko sa room. I asked for the time (malabo mata, walang contacts so I couldn't see kung anong oras na sa wall clock). One-thirty po, she said. The procedure lasted for an hour and I was dead to the world for another. 💤💤💤

Once back in the room, I peeped inside my hospital gown and saw that I was wearing a binder wrapped around my chest. My surgeon called on me after a while, saying I could eat already and that she will have me discharged the following day. Our initial agreement was I could go home that same day. But she advised me to rest for another night, as the cavity was deep and that if ever it hurts so bad, at least I have nurses to attend to me. On and off I slept, checking my phone for messages, telling my loved ones that I made it and that I'll be home Tuesday instead. i thought nareplyan ko na yung iba, only to discover that I fell asleep and hindi pa pala 😁😁😁 I asked for mushroom soup from McDo (even though I can have solids already), as I wanted something warm. It was hard to move around with the IV, but you just have to get by...to be continued...