Family Time

Pancake House*Racks

Caehl was watching me tagging the photos.
"Why are you not writing my name?"
"Ay o sige, I will na."
"Wag na lang."
Nagtampo pa :(

A Valentine Story

February 14, 1992, morning - I went out of our Journalism classroom for a drink at the nearby water fountain. I saw a guy standing outside the room beside ours. Late for his class, I presumed. But hey, I know this guy.

“It’s Valentine’s Day today,” I called out to him.

He just said (curtly even), “So what?”

Suplado naman, I thought.

A month or so later, I dreamed of the guy one night. The following morning, he was the first guy I saw in Tinoko Park on my way to class.


I tapped him on his shoulder. “Hey, napaginipan kita kagabi (I dreamed of you last night).” Without looking back and waiting for his reply, I continued walking.

Little did I know that that guy who didn’t care about Valentine’s would be my Valentine for the rest of my life. For many years, Alex and I would greet each other “Happy So-What Day”, acknowledging that one particular moment in our lives.

In fairness, we’ve had a lot of memorable and unforgettable Valentine dates. As a girlfriend (or wife), I guess I am not the sweetest person around. Despite my seemingly sociable personality, I am not really a showy, demonstrative gal (except when it comes to my kids). Alex knows it and has accepted it. If he took it against me and takes it against me even now, I cannot help it. It’s just the way I am. I express or display my love in a different way, in my own unique way. And I guess again that people who are dear to me have long understood and accepted me the way I am.

Alex would often tell me that he never stopped thinking about me after those encounters. Just before my graduation, we ended up together. And we are still together. And there is no way I will ever give him up. Not yesterday, not today, not tomorrow.

Malay ko ba, I would tell him, I never planned those encounters anyway.

Maybe the One Up there did. But don’t tell Alex that maybe, just maybe, I prayed a little bit that He would.

Happy Valentine’s everyone! Live, love, and learn.

Acknowledgment: Photo courtesy of http://wikimapia.org/3002449/Tinoko-Park

 

Happy Birthday, Ba!

My sister-in-law's birthday. I got only one SIL and we love her very much!

Mama's house***Jan. 23, 2011

Harbour Square

Our favorite place - Harbour Square - even if it's an hour and so drive from San Pedro.

Jan. 22, 2011

Caehl ranks first :)

We're so happy and proud.

At Seventeen*

Yup, Alex and I just turned 17. I always pass on this joke to my friends that only half of that were ours, referring to the years when we truly loved each other. The other half, well, were spent (or wasted) on other things. 

Seventeen is a great number. It’s one of my favorite numbers actually since I was born on the 17th of September. It’s a number that is often cited in songs, “She was just seventeen. You know what I mean.” “'You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only 17”. Did you know that “At Seventeen” by Janis Ian was originally written as "I learned the truth at eighteen”? But the singer found that the word "seventeen" worked better than "eighteen" when she tried to put melody to the lyrics.

I often write about me and Alex, our anniversaries, our relationship in general – what we have and have not done; what we have done right and what we have done wrong; how we come clattering down once in a while and how we get up each time we fall; how I thought I knew it all, that I knew everything.

But not quite, I know that now.

Reality check: sadly, some of the ideals I used to believe in, stand for and hold dear do not hold true anymore, and I have accepted (and am still trying to accept) that. There are actions that I cannot undo, events that I won’t be able to foresee, and people that we certainly can do without. For things that I just can no longer change, wala na kong magagawa kundi tanggapin, try to control what's left (and what can be controlled) and go on with life as happily as we could.

At seventeen, I know better.

Disclaimer: You don’t have to agree with me, you don’t have to believe me. You’re entitled to your own opinion. More so, these do not really sum up my life. Random thoughts lang.

Life and love are more than these, of course.

1. First love dies. I can’t even remember who it was.
2. Kay tamis ng una mong halik is not true. Again, I can’t even remember who it was.
3. It takes two to make a thing go right. In saving a marriage, hindi pwedeng isa lang ang may gusto or nag-e-effort. Dapat pareho kayo. And do it because you want to, not because you have to.
4. In a relationship, there are three versions: the girl’s, the guy’s, and the truth.
5. The most wonderful of all things in life is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase.
6. God made many puzzle pieces, but only those two 'cut out' for each other can fit together to create a perfect and beautiful picture. Kung hindi ikaw ang missing piece niya, wag ipagpilitan ang sarili. Kung mali, mali.
7. The life and love we create is the life and love we live. There are people who intentionally, deliberately mess up other people’s lives. Once in our lives, or maybe not just once, we encounter such careless people.
8. Huwag matigas ang ulo. Iyan ang ikapapahamak mo. We live only once. Live it well, live it right.
9. I used to tell my mom, life is short. And she would ask back, why make it shorter. Sabi na nga ba, makinig sa magulang. Parents know best. Since I have become a parent myself, sold na sold ako sa idea na ito. Wala pa ring tatalo sa Alaska.
10. From Alex: love is something that must be worked on on a daily basis.
11. Sabi nila, sometimes love is not enough. Well siguro nga, but perhaps love could make everything easier. Sabi nila, love makes the world go around. Well siguro nga, but perhaps love just makes the ride worthwhile.
12. Metaphorical, but I like this: Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.
13. From Alex again: (I learned) to subjugate the "self" in favor of the family.
14. Walk the talk. Kung ano yung sinasabi mo, yun din ang gagawin mo. Hindi yung puro salita, tapos iba naman ang ginagawa sa totoong buhay.
15. Sabi nila, for a relationship to work, there must be trust and communication. Sa akin naman, the person to whom you’re according that trust should be trustworthy, too. And you must find out what method of communication suits you best. Different strokes for different folks.
16. There are questions that seem to have no answers. I once read that the key is to be patient and not to search for the answers which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. Maybe someday, you will gradually live your way into the answer. In His time.
17. Move on.

*Copyright © Janis Ian/her co-writer(s) if any/their publisher(s). All rights reserved.

Everything the light touches

In the movie The Lion King, while atop Pride Rock, King Mufasa tells his cub, “Look Simba, everything the light touches is our kingdom.”

Those words are precisely what’s on my mind when I first saw Bato, an undeveloped land in Barangay Bato, Mauban, Quezon, owned by the De la Cuestas, Alex’s family - my in-laws.

Part of Alex’s agenda that weekend was to check out the ongoing palay harvest in Santol and the gapas (clearing activity) being made (and how far it has gone) in Bato. The last time he went to Bato, it was raining and listening to him narrate the trip seemed like an ordeal. There was a point that he was stuck in mud and they had to pull him out. And he’s asking if I would like to join him that Sunday. I had the choice between that or to stay in the room we rented for the weekend. I was thinking, what the heck. Nandun na din lang ako.

We were up at 630am. We didn’t eat breakfast, we just had a Big Mak burger. It took us an hour walk to reach Bato. At one point, Rene, Alex’s right-hand man, pointed out to us, “Do you see the tall coconut trees? Sa inyo yan.” Wow. I felt like Simba at that moment.

Feeling ko mangingitim ako. Ang layo. We had to pass through an ilog, endless pilapil (not related to Pilar, by the way), and yes, mud. May paakyat, may pababa, may portion na tatalon ka, lahat-lahat na. May kalabaw na masamang tumingin, ang daming aso. May parang umiiyak na bata, pero ibon pala. Buti na lang, hindi naman ako sosyalin. Kahit putik-putikan ang Havs ko, carry pa din (I brought an extra pair, buti na lang din). Tawa na lang ako ng tawa. Alex had to retrieve his slippers from the mud many times. “Kawawa naman Havs natin,” he was saying.

We took a break when we reached a clear spot. Using a big galian (I’m not sure of the spelling but it is a variety of gabi or taro root) leaf to sit on, Rene got us some fresh buko and laughed when Alex and I had a ceremonial toast. Ang sarap ng feeling that back home in San Pedro, if you want some buko juice, you had to pay for it; but in our property, it was free and fresh from the tree. Service deluxe pa kami.  From the same husk, Rene made a sort of a spoon to scoop out the buko meat. Ang sarap. I couldn’t believe that everything I see – the coconut trees, the plants I don’t recognize, the soil I was stepping on – was ours. I stretched out my arms as if to hug everything. I wanted to shout, “Atin ito!” But I didn’t have to. I knew that Alex knew what I was thinking, what I was feeling. I was glad I didn’t stay in the hotel room.And so, we walked back (yes, for another hour) with smile on our faces. We have so many plans and with God’s loving guidance, sana matupad naming lahat yun and enjoy the fruits of our labor soon.

A Quaint Dinner at Kusina ni Salud

On our trip home from Mauban, Alex suddenly felt hungry.

“Parang mapapa-Max’s tayo ah,“ he quipped. It was just past 4pm, and estimating our arrival in Tayabas, it would only be 5pm-ish.

“Early dinner?” I asked.

But by the time we reached Tayabas, Alex’s hunger was somehow dissipated by the adobong mani we bought the previous night. Maaga pa, we decided.

I suddenly remembered the Kusina ni Salud sign I’ve already seen thrice along the road. The name was familiar as I’ve seen it in food blogs and magazines. I told Alex it’s a popular Southern stopover, so why don’t we try it for a change. Actually, I don’t mind eating in fast food restos and carinderias during our trips but we were already curious and excited that we simply had to check it out.

From the highway, it was a 1.3km – drive. Malayo ba yun,  I asked Alex. Next thing we knew, there was a sign pointing to a gate on our left, so we drove in.

“Inay, mommy, ang sosyal yata.”
“Sosyal ba?”
“Naka-shorts lang tayo.”
“Di naman yata kailangang naka-gown. Hayaan mo na, may pera naman tayo.”

And so we finally went in and were captivated by the old-fashioned fixtures and furnishings. I love the mismatched chairs and the comfy dining tables that if you came in as a group, matatagalan ang kuwentuhan. Medyo madilim but it added to the over-all charm. You can even hear birds and crickets. I think it would be lovelier during daytime when you can see the plants.

I am quite adventurous when it comes to food but at that time, I was in no mood to try their carabao meat, even though I wanted salpicao sana. Alex insisted I should try out the seafood dishes but I wanted something which I could share with him.

We finally chose the SIZZLING! SISIG (their description: our version of the classic Pinoy barchow, inspired by the railroad side sisig of Pampanga, served on a hot! iron plate, topped with a fresh egg, chopped onions, green chilies and toasted garlic); and  LECHON KAWALI AT PINAKBET (their description: deep-fried, oven-dried, crispy pork belly set on a bed of garlic-sauteed northern Luzon vegetable stew of fresh okra, bitter gourd, eggplant, string beans and squash, flavor-infused with bagoong-isda). We also ordered the Chinese fried rice (good for 2 persons). I asked for the iced pandan tea but it was not available so I settled for watermelon shake, and Alex, iced tea as usual.

The portions were all right for the price. Perhaps if there were four of us, we could have finished everything. We took pictures before we left. Unfortunately, we forgot to have our kodakan outside, just below the Welcome sign. But we’ll probably be back anyway. The Sunday buffet lunch seems promising.

Visit http://www.kusinasalud.com and http://kusinasalud.multiply.com
KUSINA SALUD
Cell: 0921-7726985
Laguna: 049-5736155
kusinasalud@gmail.com

 

Spot the Difference

Who's who? Which is which?

A Valentine Promise

Saturday started with Cae rounding up her friends for a play rehearsal at home, and us paying her February tuition fee (yahoo, one more month to go). We had breakfast at McDonalds with Caehl who joined our weekly trip to SM Hypermarket Muntinlupa.    Later in the afternoon, Alex and I went to Makati for our Valentine date. "Baka traffic,” I was telling him. But since we (especially I who have become an Alabang girl) seldom go to the Makati malls, sige na nga din. Ang hirap tumakas kay Caehl, who was hurrying to slip into his Crocs, akala niya kasama siya.   We had an early dinner at CPK (mushroom ravioli, sausage pizza) and "revisited" Greenbelt afterwards. Although we were there for lunch a week ago with Cae and her friends, it seemed like ang tagal ko nang hindi nakita ang Greenbelt. Sure, I go to Makati once in a while but mostly on official business, so technically noon lang uli ako nakabalik, and this time we were in no hurry.   Makati brings back sad memories, actually - old and unfriendly ghosts, painful realizations and associations, mahabang kuwento. I was trying to mentally push them away while we were walking hand in hand under the Greenbelt lights. My mental walis was at work that night. Busing-busy.   Next stop was Greenbelt 3 to watch Valkyrie. The lines were long, as expected. We checked out Glorietta's schedule and decided to catch the 8pm screening. If that wasn't suspense, then I don't know what to call it. I cried during the execution scene. What was I doing? Last year, when we stayed at home to watch the Amazing Race finale (yup, it was our Valentine date), I also remember crying when Marc and Rovilson lost.   Which made me think of how we celebrated Valentine's the previous years. How could we ever recall each one of them, when we already had a lot?   There was a time Alex sent me roses in our Makati office, it was in 1998, if I'm not mistaken.   Then in 2005, we ended up in Macahora Bar in Pacita, giving up on jampacked Alabang.   2006 was at the Poolside, Bellevue Hotel. It was actually a challenging period for me and Alex, and it made the evening more meaningful for us both. And yes, we came out of such challenge alive, kicking and together - thank God.   The following year, we had dinner at Leslie's Tagaytay. The beef (bulalo, Leslie’s specialty) was so tender but masarap pa rin daw ang nilagang baka ko, sabi ni Alex.   Alex and I will celebrate our 17th anniversary as a couple this year. Past Valentine dates may have been perfunctory, or wala lang, masabi lang na nag-date or nag-celebrate. Or part of a routine. Eh sino pa ba ang ka-Valentine ko or ka-Valentine niya di ba, may meaning man o wala.

 

Valentine’s or no Valentine’s, each day is now more meaningful for us both. As I have told Alex, we’re nearing our forties, and we’d be lucky to see through another forty years together. I certainly don't want to waste another second away from my husband. And I want us to spend and enjoy every moment together.

 

It doesn't mean we won't argue or fight or disagree anymore.  Sure, I’ll still get mad at him. Sure, I’ll still get on his nerves.

 

But we’ll do it in style.

 

Happy Valentine’s, Daddy.  Everyday, I love you.

Staking my claim

Last Saturday, I joined Alex in one of his becoming-too-frequent trips to Mauban, Quezon. Just last month, he checked out his katiwala’s piggery that I was not able to attend an officemate’s wedding. I don’t want to pre-empt this though, so I’ll leave him to do the talking through his Multiply site.

 

Actually, this trip is only my fourth. The first one was in 1995; Cae has just turned a year old then. The second, I can’t remember if it was the following year but it was when the country hosted the APEC and we laborers had a long week-end or so. Remember when villas were being constructed in Subic for each of the 18 heads of state? That’s it.

 

Anyway, I remember making that trip with Alex and Tita Panching via JAC Liner. In Lucena, we took another bus ride to Mauban for almost two hours. But it seemed like eternity because the roads then were bumpy and dusty, and the bus had no air-conditioning. I think I had to cover my hair with a bandanna and Tita Panching was nauseous most of the time. Who wouldn’t be? And yeah, I think that road experience spoiled my appetite for Mauban from then on, that Alex would either go alone (or with Tita Panching) when he had to.

 

The third was only last year. It was a rainy day. Pabalik-balik kami sa palayan, sa binhi dealer, then to his aunt’s villa then to the palayan again after a nap in the villa. I had to stay inside the car the rest of the afternoon, listening to Hale. Afterwards, we went to Sampaloc, the next town, to purchase the “binhi” because Alex was told we could get a good deal there.

 

The road seemed endless once again. It took us an hour back and forth. Ang dilim pa nung nag-CR ako which pissed me off. The ride home was even darker. As in walang poste ng Meralco. Buti na lang Alex is comfortable driving in the dark (ako, hindi ko kaya). Kakaloka. I think the only time I uttered a word was when we stopped over at Max’s (sa Tayabas nga ba yun, Dadi?) to have dinner. Sabi ni Alex, mukhang pagod na pagod na daw ako. And mind you, pasahero lang ako nito ha, eh di lalo na siya na driver pa?

 

So parang in a way, na-trauma na naman ako pagpunta dun. As mentioned, Alex’s trip to Mauban became more frequent, especially when the palayan became a reality. Nagugulat ako sa kanya pag pumupunta siya dun na balikan, driving alone for 4 hours papunta, and another 3 ½ to 4 hours pabalik, especially when Tita Panching doesn’t feel well and couldn’t come with him.

 

This recent trip of mine was a result of many reasons (majority are selfish reasons actually). But even I was surprised that I was looking forward to it. I didn’t mind getting up early on a Saturday morning and I was praying for a sunny day. The trip was quicker than I expected. It was my first time to see the “kamalig” built to serve as rice stockroom, and of course, the pig pen. It was also my first time to meet his katiwala’s family, and to finally put a face to the names of some Mauban folks na sa kuwento ko lang naririnig before.

 

Ilan na ba ang anak ninyo? I was asked thrice. “Ah dalawa na ba?” “Ah, magfi-fifteen na ba panganay ninyo? Eh parang bagong kasal lang kayo.” Ngek.

 

I admit there was a time that I used to treat these undertakings as Alex’s alone. I remember telling him, “Basta, Dadi, make sure that our finances don’t get affected. Hindi tayo mayaman (to venture into such projects).”

 

Hindi naman talaga. Well, the properties were inherited, but the money that goes into these projects is ours. Salaried employees lang din naman kami and I’d like to set things straight. What Alex earns, combined with mine, see us through from one payday to another. Lahat ng matitipid, titipirin. Lahat ng kinikita, galing sa utak, dugo at pawis. If there are sidelines coming his way (although not enough para yumaman kami), thank God, but the earnings don’t go to frivolous or senseless stuff. All our expenses are thought of and well considered. Wala nga kaming savings kung tutuusin. So you could just imagine yung feeling na parang nagdagdag pa kami ng pagkakagastusan.

 

Yet, this time, I knew the feeling is different.

Pagtapak ko sa lupa, I felt with all my heart that it was ours. Not his, not mine. But ours. I could only feel pride for my husband who has been working real hard for this, despite setbacks. I know and I'm certain that this is not just for him nor for me but for us and for Caitlin and Caehl.

The trip was still a long one but it seemed shorter. The roads were still dark but I saw everything in a new light. The comfort rooms were not a “comfort” at all but I didn’t mind. Standing by the kamalig’s window, iba yung simoy ng hangin, and even the moving clouds caught my attention.

 

Alex doesn’t know this yet but from now on, I stake my claim on everything. If there was a time that I was indifferent or selfish or complacent even, that was then. I think it’s about time I assert my right. And I’ll guard this right with all my might.

If it means having to pour out our hearts and souls into this, then so be it. We were given this chance and it may not come along again. We will still have setbacks but if Alex faced all of them in the past alone, this time he has me and he will always have me. We will face them all together.

Prom Update

Jan 10 - The first visit to New Creation (a local dress shop) was hassle-free. After we showed her the design, the owner knew what Cae wanted that even before Alex could take a nap at the reception area, Cae's measurements were taken, dates were discussed and down payment was made. It wasn't as expensive as I expected and we didn't have to go to Divisoria to buy the fabric. It was part of the package. Hay, salamat naman.

The girls salon-shopped the day before and told me they were settling for Glamour (hair and make-up for 500).

I emailed Cae some hairstyle images I found on the Net. Maybe she can pick one she likes. Two of them are bridal hairstyles actually, but will still look good on Cae. She said she won't have her hair curled since most of the girls would be in curls, and she wants to be different.

I texted my brother to borrow one of their cars on Feb. 6 and he said yes. So the transpo problem is solved. Thank God for siblings.

Jan 17 - Since we were already in the mall (after Cae had an eye check-up), we decided to check out the shoe stores. Cae and I wanted a not-so-high pair so she could go dancing na hindi sasakit paa niya but it seemed that ang tataas ng nakikita namin. The shoes were really beautiful and finally, she chose an off-white pair of sandals. Alas, we couldn't find a handbag that would match. Next assignment: handbag and accessories.

Cae told me they're finally choosing Salon 28 (550), saying they heard something not-so-nice about Glamour. Whatever.

Jan. 28 - gown-fitting day
Jan. 31 - pick up gown

Early 2009 Thoughts

Last year, in a trip to Mauban with Alex, I started to open the papers (PDI, of course) and guess what page I landed on - a San Beda College of Law announcement ad.

Dreams and frustrations of becoming a lawyer suddenly came back to me. On that particular moment, I wanted to take the entrance exam. I scanned the requirements and thought, I have them all - except for new transcript of records. What I have was the typewritten version with "kagat ng daga" on the side. Yup, I'm not kidding, may kagat nga ng daga at ubod ng luma. But that was easy, I guess, I mean getting a new set.

I told Alex, who was driving, that maybe it was fate that I should see that ad to remind me of a well, not really lost but slippery dream of mine. Well, most of you should know by now that I married a year and a half after graduation, got pregnant right away and got busy with parenting and career-building that I was not able to pursue the dream. But it has remained at the back of my mind (and at the bottom of my heart) through the years like a piece of meat stuck between your teeth or a splinter in your toe.

I don't know if I'll still be able to take up Law someday (I actually requested for new TOR and my friend Len helped me get them. Thanks, Len!). I could do it under a scholarship program (that's how generous my employer is). Yup, as in all expenses paid. But right now, sobrang pressure na sa job and I don't think I can take much pressure. Baka mag-nervous breakdown na ko. Isa pa, I need to have a stable household. Yung tipong hindi na aalis ang yaya at maid ko para hindi ko na problemahin. Lagay eh, papasok ako at magrerecite pero ang nasa isip ko, shet, walang magluluto, tambak ang labada and all that stuff. Baka mapag-rumble rumble ko ang mga cases, batukan ako ng prof.

Perhaps, in time, in His time. I'm not losing hope. After all, my father took up Law when all his four children were in school (college na ko nun) and passed the bar (Take 1, mind you) at the age of 52. May pag-asa pa.

In the meantime, while I'm waiting for His go-signal, maybe I could take up some units in Education (ayoko kasing mag-MBA) to at least quench my thirst to go back to the academe. Balak ko kasi, after I retire, maybe I could go into teaching, kahit part-time lang. Na-inspire ako sa English teacher ko nung high school who is still teaching Journalism in a local college. She's the adviser of the college publication and parang gusto ko ng ganun. She still looks young and maybe working with young people makes her so. Ayokong tumanda na masungit at idle.

Wish me luck.

The best of 2009 to you all!