The Outsiders

WHEN I STEPPED out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home... – The Outsiders, S.E. Hinton, copyright 1967

Whenever I remember this line and the movie Outsiders itself, I automatically miss my siblings. Or if I want to think about them, I just say this either out loud or only in mind, and I am instantly comforted.

Just yesterday, my officemates (or should I say department bosses) asked me why I miss(ed) them, seeing my Facebook status. I told them it was because I was worried about my sick youngest sister. I was also telling a cousin, Ate Doris, that even if there were four of us, parang ang konti pa din especially when you get older and you don’t get together as often as you want to.

I think it was just the other week when I poured my heart out to my older brother. The fact that he took time to see me despite his hectic schedule was comforting enough.  I was ready to be judged but somehow I knew he wouldn’t be that cruel. He listened patiently and made me feel more loved and supported. “Ano pa bang problema ang hindi natin kakayanin? Kung gulo lang, madami na tayong gulong pinagdaanan, kahit na madalas hindi natin kagagawan.”

“That’s what Kuyas are for,” he said. That night, I felt that nobody can ever hurt me with my siblings around. I told Alex the following morning, “Bago pa man dumating sa akin ang kalaban ko, dadaan muna siya sa tatlong kapatid ko.”

If you’re this lucky, too, then you know what I'm talking about.

Leron Leron Sinta CKLC version

Concepcion Kids Learning Center Linggo ng Wika celebration featuring Nursery-Faith dancing Leron Leron Sinta

Caehl's 1st Linggo ng Wika School Celebration

Poem: Ang Payo ni Inay
Dance: Leron Leron Sinta
Concepcion Kids Learning Center
August 28, 2009

Caehl's Class Picture

Nursery - Faith Concepcion Kids Learning Center

Hale at SM Sta. Rosa August 9, 2009

SM Sta. Rosa was fortunate to be among the first stops of Hale as it launches their latest album Kundiman. Kundiman [2009] 1. Bahay Kubo 2. Kalesa 3. Aso’t Pusa 4. Ulap 5. Magkaibang Mundo 6. Bulalakaw 7. Yakap 8. Harinawa MYX VOTE BAHAY KUBO send to 2366

And I Love You So

Rating:	★★★★
Category:	Movies
Genre:	Drama

I can't remember the last time I really sat down in a theater to watch a Star Cinema movie, kadalasan sa Cinema One ko na lang sila nakikita (read: nakikita is different from napapanuod).

Also, I grew up listening to Perry Como (one of Mama's boyfriends) and the song "And I Love You So" is definitely an old favorite.

After hearing Kris Aquino's endorsement of the movie starring Bea Alonzo, Sam Milby, and Derek Ramsay, especially "to those in a relationship. Mas lalo ninyong papahalagahan ang partner ninyo." Uy, may kurot ito. So sige na nga.

Difficulty#1. Showing pa ba sa Festival. Cinema 2 daw, o sige. What time? I was hoping na mga 4pm-ish (after work). Ngek, 535pm.

Difficulty#2. Sino nga pala kasama ko? Definitely, I ruled out Alex. Hindi ko ito mayayaya ever sa mga ganitong movies. My officemates were busy with boxing. My kumareng Malou might not be available, considering napaka-short notice.

Cae solved or semi-solved the problem by telling me she and her friends will go to Festival Mall after their exams. Manunuod din daw sila sine. She was still inside Cinema 3, watching Up, when I texted her to go out to get her AILYS ticket from me. Susunod na lang siya after Up. So sige.

Actually, first time ko mag-isa. Pero sabi ko, baka naman konti lang tao. I was surprised that the theater was full. Hindi pa tapos yung 320pm screening. When it finally ended, the people had smile on their faces. Sa isip-isip ko, hmmm, mga Kapamilya kayo no? (To the uninitiated, I am proud to be Kapuso.)

Waiting for the movie to begin, ngek, ang daming tao! And people were still coming in!

I knew some tears would fall, ako pa na mababaw ang luha. Nadala ako sa mga eksena nina Bea and Ms. Coney Reyes (talagang may 'Ms.').

"Parang gusto ko nang maniwala kay Audrey na totoong pinalitan mo na ang anak ko."
"You may have loved him longer, but it doesn't mean I loved him less."

What I didn't expect (as I texted later to my friend Elmer who texted back if it was really like Hilary Swank's PS I Love You) was to gush over Sam. Ako pa? This is the first time I saw Sam act, and boy, ang galing pala niya. Si Bea kasi, given na eh. Si Derek, napanuod ko na siya in the past - maski ako, mapapabili ng Lucky Me Lomi after watching his TVC. Sam is indeed a revelation for me. As his character Chris shows his love for Lara, I knew every girl in the theater was wishing somebody would love her that much too. Siyempre, bonus na yung ganun din ka-pogi LOL.

Directed by Laurenti Dyogi

YouTube - HALE - Bahay Kubo

Hale at SM Sta. Rosa August 9, 2009

SM Sta. Rosa was fortunate to be among the first stops of Hale as it launches its latest album Kundiman.   Kundiman [2009] 1. Bahay Kubo 2. Kalesa 3. Aso’t Pusa 4. Ulap 5. Magkaibang Mundo 6. Bulalakaw 7. Yakap 8. Harinawa   MYX VOTE BAHAY KUBO send to 2366

Memoirs of a Baby

Loving my mom more and more each day, I am reposting an old blog which I wrote after giving birth to my son.

I love you, Mama. Even though I may not always show it and if I do, always in a funny way.
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Feb. 1, 2006

How big or how small is a child’s memory bank? How far back can an infant remember, if at all? Do they keep a sort of a historical account of their first few days in their minds?

Caehl will be 4 months old this February 13. Everyday I keep telling myself that time really flies. Just the other day, I was talking to my maid and I was reminding her of the time when Mama was still so physically fit, how she would drop by every afternoon, never mind if she had to walk four or five blocks. She would be there as soon as my eyes would start to droop, aching for some forty winks. Her hands were never empty. There would always be a pack of turon or lumpia for merienda, a pack of diapers, a new bottle for Caehl, a new bucket or basin for her apo, or just about anything.

As soon as she’s settled, she would ask me to take a nap while she attended to Caehl who’s also asleep. I would wake up with her still sitting by the crib or carrying my son or changing his diaper, humming that favorite Limbo Rock tune of hers. Then she would fix a cup of coffee afterwards. She would ask me if Alex will work overtime and if so, she would stay with us until he comes home. In the evening, she would either be picked up by their maid or any of my sisters. “Bukas na lang,” she would say before going home. For a month or so, she has devoted herself to this routine.

Then we started to plan what we would do when it’s time for me to go back to work. “Ganito na lang,” she’d say. “Leave Caehl with us in the morning and just pick him up when you’re already home in the afternoon.” That was what we agreed upon. Until she started to complain of somewhat abdominal or side pains which make it difficult for her to walk. One check-up led to another and we ended up hiring a nanny, upon her insistence. No, Mama can no longer carry Caehl the way she used to (even if she wants to). She just takes comfort in having him in his lap or with him lying beside her in their bedroom during our weekly visits.

Now that Caehl recognizes faces, interacts with people, and starts to show anxiety with strangers, I can’t help but wish, no, pray that he somehow remembers his first month in the arms of his grandmother. How he would be lulled to sleep with her “ari guding ari guding (sung to the tune of Limbo rock).” How he would be easily scooped out of his crib by his grandma at just a slight sign of boredom or a hint of a sob. I ask myself, do babies remember those times? Would Caehl remember all these? The smell of Mama’s perfume? The sound of her voice? The warmth of her arms? And say with all conviction, “Ah, this is my lola.” The same way that I hope he would remember how I spent sleepless nights in the living room with him, and we would be alone in the morning until Mama arrives.

P.S. Don't forget to remind your mom how much you love her...

The Prodigal Child

To all whose moms are still alive, we are reminded anew to spend the rest of our days showing our love to them before it's too late. Reposting an old blog from my blogsite pamski.71.bravejournal.com

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March 12, 2006
Yesterday, I was bothered by the news that my mom and my eldest sister are once again fighting. Living under the same roof, they have this tampuhan thingy once in a while, a normal mother-daughter phenomenon I guess.  Most daughters living with their moms could relate to this.

When my mom gets mad at other people, my Ate takes the heat most of the times. On the other hand, when Ate, who has a fighter’s blood running in her veins, finds herself in a squabble with a neighbor or whoever, it’s Mama’s turn to call a ceasefire. “Patricia!” she would always admonish her. “Para kang walang breeding!”

Their personalities clash but they could be sweet at times, too. That we just shrug our shoulders and say, “Ganyan lang yang dalawang yan. Sila kasi ang magkasama sa bahay.”

Ate Pinky, or Pia, as my children would refer to her, quit her job years ago to stay at home and be with my mom and lola. A medical technology degree holder, she was asked by my father and my brother to look after the two. My niece, Meghann, found this set-up convenient and in her favor. Along with Azalea, they are the only ones left in the house we all grew up in.

As a result, Ate doesn’t earn her own income and she is often asked to do errands, cook for the family, and take care of things especially when Mama is sick. Sometimes she doesn’t take this well, as she feels she’s being taken for granted. Sometimes she feels helpless when “payables” such as Meg’s school expenses crop up. Sometimes she feels sorry for herself because she thinks she has become so dependent on others, especially when it comes to money matters. She also feels that my folks often meddle in the way she brings up Meg, and in her own life as well. “Di na ko makahinga sa bahay na yan,” she tells us. “Parang wala na kong sariling buhay. I feel like I’m being treated as a sixteen-year old.”

Mama, on the other hand, wonders if it’s true that she treats Ate that way. “Anak ko sya, eh,” she tells me.

When they fight, the house turns into a war zone (as Azalea would call it). I remember my father telling her during one of our family gatherings, “Everything I have is yours,” just like in the story of the Prodigal Son. Remember the part wherein the eldest son got mad when the father threw a celebration at the youngest son’s homecoming?

“All these years I’ve worked hard for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to; and in all that time you never gave me even one young goat for a feast with my friends.”

“Look, the father said, “you and I are very close, and everything I have is yours."

It all seemed a joke when Papa said that. But looking back, I see how true it was (is). “Everything” may not be in terms of money and finances and tangible possessions. It may also be his and Mama’s time and attention. I don’t have it now. Kuya doesn’t have it now. Their presence, their pag-aasikaso, their moral support. And yes, even the occasional reprimand. Ate has indeed everything. And there will come a time that she, and all of us, will miss all that.

Everybody says “Ang hirap magpalaki ng magulang.” We can choose our spouses, but not our parents. But I guess we will never realize how hard it is to be a parent until we become one. And  a parent is a parent is a parent…for life.

My Little Kapuso

Kita ninyo naman, kabisado ang GMA Programs. Parang mommy niya. Adik.

More Kodak Moments with Caehl Album 2

More Kodak Moments with Caehl

I just have to take pictures of anything, everything. Ang bilis lumaki ng mga bata.

Books, Building blocks & Batcave

Caehl's favorites

Shopping with Daddy and Caehl

UPCAT: The Movie

Leaving home after attending the 9-10am mass, we reached University Avenue 11am or so. As expected, all roads led to UP for the 2009 UPCAT. Our plan was to have a quick lunch before proceeding to Institute of Physics where Cae was supposed to take the exam.

 

Alex led us to Chocolate Kiss where we had pasta and sandwich. Di naman kami masyadong nagmamadali hehehe Cae was worried she might not get there on time, seeing the moderate-to-heavy traffic inside UP.

 

Buti na lang, because of two previous trips to UP, Alex already was familiar with the area. So, at exactly 12:17, I escorted Cae to the building lobby where a guy told us, “Pasok na kayo.” Akala yata, pati ako mag-e-exam. “O,” I reminded Cae, “Wag kang mag-cellphone. Text-text na lang mamaya.”

 

Alex & I visited some relatives whom we have not seen for quite sometime and stayed there for two hours. We returned to UP around 4:30pm. Around 5pm, some kids were already coming out of the building so I stayed nearby. Ten minutes later, still there was no Cae. Fifteen minutes…wala pa din.

 

 

It was already dark and nobody else seemed to be waiting but us. Where was Cae?

 

I couldn’t hide my anxiety anymore. I approached the lady guard and asked, “Miss, wala pa yung anak ko. May tao pa ba sa loob?”

 

The lady guard was surprised. “Ah hindi pa po ba lumalabas? Sandali lang po, check po natin.” Then she went in.

 

As I turned to Alex, a text message came. From Cae. “Ma, fin na.”

 

Hayyyy, I texted back.

 

“Sundo neo ko?” she texted again. To which I replied, “And2 kami labas.”

 

She didn’t answer. I texted her again, “Tagal nyo.”

 

I sat down on the wooden bench and waited.

 

After a few minutes, the lady guard returned, with a guy. “Ma’am, sino po ang hinahanap ninyo?” he asked. He had a UPCAT ID.

 

“Ah, yung anak ko, tapos na daw sila. Palabas na.”

 

The guard and the guy looked at each other. Scratching his head, he said, “Ah Ma’am, wala na pong bata sa loob. Kanina pa po tapos, nakalabas na po lahat.”

 

"Ha? Sigurado kayo? Kaka-text lang niya, tapos na daw sila," I repeated.

 

They looked at each other again. “Ma’am, wala na po talaga.”

 

Asan ang anak ko? Asan ang anak ko??? Daddy, asan si Cae? Asan si Cae?

 

 

Okey ba? That was just a suspense-thriller script Alex and I were creating while waiting for what seemed like an eternity. Parang yun na yata ang pinakamahabang 30 minutes for us.

 

The last batch of kids was coming out one by one. Then I saw Cae.

 

So how was it? “Sumakit ulo ko,” she said.

 

Let’s go home.

 

So we went home – after a quick trip to McDonald’s drive-thru.