Girl Interrupted

As my favorite saying goes, “Cream will always rise to the top.”

Thanks, Macky, for this shot :)

The news of a high school salutatorian who was stopped by teachers and administrators from delivering her speech brought back a lot of memories.

Not that I was interrupted too, or that I had grievances to air.

I recall that our school directress asked our salutatorian (Godfrey) and me to submit a copy of our speech, and a day or two after, we had a dry run. At that time, I thought it was just a formality, and that she was just making sure that the program would go without a hitch. Later on, I realized that we were asked to practice our speech before her to ensure that what we submitted was the one we memorized and the one we were going to deliver.

My Insular Life Gold Eagle Award

Anyways, I remember my own experience 27 years ago. Like a bride, I was the last to walk down the aisle with my parents. My speech was a light one. I just cited the many people and things I (thought I) would be going to miss after high school life. It was all about high school memories, learning, friendship, love,  laughter and even cafeteria food. And if ever there was something I didn’t like about the school or its administration, it never entered my mind to inject it in my valedictory address. For one, it wasn't the appropriate time. It was my moment. I was after all the valedictorian. So why should I be bitter? Who was I to complain? Why should I mention or highlight not-so-good or not-so-happy things in my speech? It was my turn to show gratitude – to my school, to my parents, to my teachers, to my classmates, to my friends. Everyone was in a nostalgic and euphoric mood. Parents were teary-eyed, my batch mates looked (well, it seemed to me) jubilant. It wasn’t a time to evoke unpleasant memories or thoughts or feelings. It wasn’t a time to stir up issues.

Perhaps it’s just me. Well, yeah, this is just me. You might say, porke masaya ka.  Porke ikaw ang valedictorian. Kaya mo nasasabi yan. I know. And I understand the sentiment. Some people might have resented me being there. Some people might have the feeling that I didn’t deserve being there. Paano naman yung hindi sold sa akin, paano naman yung hindi masaya, paano naman yung hindi bilib sa resulta? That I wouldn’t know now. Come on, it was 1988.

True, I admired the young girl’s courage. Mabuhay ka, Krisel. Not everyone would have the guts to do that, and to go on and on even if the school officials have asked her to stop many times. And she has chosen UST for college. Another ganda point for her from me. But on second thought, what if she was our salutatorian, and I was the valedictorian? Even though she was attacking the school, not me, she insinuated in her speech that there was injustice, that she was cheated out of being named valedictorian. Thus, am I being discredited? Does it mean I’m not credible to get the top honors? That I don’t deserve it, because there was cheating or favoritism involved? If she were a victim, then I am also a victim. Kawawa naman ako. I wouldn’t want to be in her place.

I also recall having a conversation with my daughter when she was about to graduate from high school in 2010. While I was fixing Cae’s hair that morning, she was admiring their valedictorian who seemed to get all the awards. I told her, “Ako rin naman nun.”  And I was thinking, did my batch mates admire me, too? What did they really feel about me then? Well, in fairness to us, what are you valedictorian for, anyway, if others would get more or as much awards, right? Para que pa na valedictorian ka, or first honor ka, kung may ibang mas maraming awards pa sa iyo. Logical lang naman yun di ba?

Yet it’s true, again, that honors, awards, medals, recognitions are merely icing on the cake. Palabok. Rewards. I agree that these do not define you as a person or as a student. Because the real battle is outside the gates of the school, the real life. When you graduate with top honors, it does not guarantee you a job (but admit it or not, come hiring or recruitment stage, this will come in handy), a good life, and most of all, a good heart. They make you feel good, yes. Sino ba ang ayaw ng honors? Ang saya kaya, and it gives you a certain kind of high. You’re not just one of the guys. You’re proud of yourself, you pat yourself on the back for a job well done. You have something to give back to your parents, or to your family (or whoever is supporting you). Doon man lang, may consolation sila. Ang hirap kaya magpaaral.

In real life, most people would look past your scholastic achievements, and would rather focus on how you tackle your job, how you deal with others, how you bring up your children, how you are as a person, and so on. Maybe it’s important, too. Maybe it’s not. Depends on how you look at it. Maybe it’s for you. Maybe it’s more for your parents. Or maybe for your children, or future children. The important thing is not to stop learning. You don’t stop learning after high school or after college. Life is a never-ending learning process. And you don’t stop being good, or doing good. Even if you are interrupted at times.

~TheGoodGirl