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Friday, August 7, 2015

Stuck In Love

“I don't want to stay in the bad place, where no one believes in silver linings or love or happy endings.”
― Matthew Quick, The Silver Linings Playbook



In the movie Stuck in Love (2012), Samantha the daughter (Lily Collins) is a cynic when it comes to love. “If love is setting a place at the table for someone who is never coming home, I think I'll pass,” she said.

What is it about love that brands hopeless romantics as fools, and those who avoid it all costs, as realists? Why is love often associated with hurt and hearts breaking, and not with happiness and hope?

Some of my single female friends seem to have given up on love, and on finding the One. Sometimes you have to make things happen. Who said it’s illegal for a girl to make the first move and let a guy know how she feels? I remember telling someone that I am a person who is not and will never be afraid of love. Back then, if I liked someone or fell for a guy, I would let him know – even if it means taking the risk of being rejected (i.e. if he didn’t like me back). But what about if he does/did, and all he needed was a push, or a bit of encouragement? Of course, not all of them succumbed to my charms, but most of them did. Quite a gamble, I must say, but what about if I just waited and he didn’t make the first move at all? Sayang ang panahon, I would always say. Sayang ang panahon when we could already be together, making memories of our own, instead of just waiting and wishing and dreaming and hoping.

Yes, love is complicated. It’s not all about thrills and whistles, and bells and chimes. It’s not always mutual or reciprocated, or being loved in return.  Sometimes, it being the source of your happiness is also the same source of pain and sadness. Love sometimes does not have to be raucous. It’s not all about noise and excitement, one that comes with a town crier, or a music band. Sometimes, there’s a calm kind of love, the kind that just quietly seeps in, during your unguarded moments, and before you know it, it’s there - when you least expect it. Sometimes, love takes time and effort. If you don’t take action, nothing will happen. Yet sometimes, you don’t have to look for love, it is right there all along. Sometimes, love does not have to be a show, or a performance. Just a look, a touch, a smile, a comfortable silence - no words are necessary. Sometimes, it comes once, if you are lucky enough. But there are second chances, and third, and fourth, before you hit the jackpot. Sometimes, it never comes at all.

There are pains inasmuch as there are gains. There are happy endings, inasmuch as there are sad endings. And there are no 'forevers' inasmuch as there are 'happily ever afters'. And only when you come to terms with its complexities in all its forms that you learn to love, lose, live, leave, let go and laugh.


~TheGoodGirl


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