Love is lovelier

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”

― Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

Do you remember the first time you fell in love? Your second or third time? How about your last?

It does not matter how many times you have fallen in love, or if it’s your first, your second, or your last, because it’s never the same. And in each time, every time you get another chance at it, the premise is it should get better, and it should feel better. It should be sweeter. And lovelier.

The assumption of course, is that falling in love each time should be a richer and more fulfilling experience, as you learn from your past mistakes and you become a better person. The next time or the second time around shouldn’t be the same as you are not the same person anymore. Some of your ways or points of view may have changed because your experience may have changed the way you give and receive love. Yet, even so, it doesn’t guarantee that it will last, or that it will be your last. You can still fail, you can still lose. But it doesn’t stop you and it shouldn’t stop you from loving again, from trying again.

It doesn’t matter how old you are, or in what state you are in – whether you are single, married, separated, widowed, your feelings are valid and will always be valid. Falling in love and being in love is still one of the best feelings and experiences in the world. And it doesn’t matter if it hurts or if it makes you cry, it makes you feel things you have never felt before. And it makes you do things you haven’t done before. It makes you happy, yet it’s the same thing that makes you sad. It causes pain, yet it takes pains away. It makes you stronger, yet it is also your weakness. Falling in love may catch us unprepared, but staying in love and keeping meaningful relationships don’t just happen. It is by choice. We choose to love, to change and to improve ourselves and our relationships, and to be happy.

American psychologist Robert Sternberg (known for his triangular theory of love) once said, “Without expression even the greatest of loves can die.” That being said, open your heart, don’t be afraid to love and to express that love fully, because it’s the only way to love. 

~TheGoodGirl