When my father passed away last December 2010, everyone was worried about my mom. Because they are aware of her medical condition, the focus was actually on her, “Kumusta na (ang) mama mo (How is your mom)?”
To most people, she is a fragile woman, a quiet one. After
all, who wouldn’t be tagged as quiet with Papa around doing most of the
talking? Prim and proper, she doesn’t know how to swear. She always reprimands
us for talking aloud or for doing unladylike things. “Patricia! Ang boses mo (Watch your voice)!”
she would always admonish my eldest sister.
And it was always Papa who took the credit. “Mana sa iyo ang mga anak mo (Your
children take after you), Attorney,” referring to our academic achievements. Everyone
had a high regard for him, being a CPA and a lawyer. But to me, Mama is the
more intelligent one. She was just keeping a low profile, and yes, because she
wasn’t a show-off or loud like Papa.
Mama has her share of medals and awards during her school days. After
high school at UST, she took up Accountancy at UE (they have the same alma
mater) and worked as an accountant in various companies until the early or
mid-80s when she started to get sick.
From her, I think I got my obsession with organization (be
it work-related or personal matters). My appointments / meetings have to be
calendared. Everything has to be
written, noted, advised, informed, or announced. I always have to have a
journal, a “To Do” list, and a grocery/shopping list. Looking back now, I realized
we have the same format of “payables” list every 15th/30th and grocery list
(items are according to aisle / category). Beside the phone, there should be a
notepad and pens. Documents/files have to be in labeled folders or envelopes,
alphabetically arranged, including books (I have to confirm this with her again
but I remember her saying she also dreamed of becoming a librarian). My father
didn’t need a secretary or EA, my mom’s the best organizer. When you ask her
for something, she knew where it was kept.
From her too, I got my carry-all addiction, my Girl
Scout-always ready trait. One of my favorite moments explaining this was when
we were on our way to a family outing once. My eldest sister said, “Sana may asin tayo (I wish we brought
some salt).” I think we were eating either boiled eggs or Indian mangoes that
time. Voila, my mother produced small packets of iodized salt from McDonald’s.
See? Now you know why I cannot and will never survive with a small bag.
In more ways than one, it turned out I am like my mother but
physically, we got Papa’s features. Unfortunately, we did not inherit Mama’s beauty
and fairness. Although some people would say my brother looks like her.
My mom may look frail and delicate, but I also realized
after my Papa’s death that she is the strongest and bravest person among us. We
didn’t expect that but she truly is. The power and capacity of her heart to
accept and bear everything in silence, grace and dignity is amazing and
inspiring. And worth emulating.
My mom’s 73 years old now, and her memory has started to
fail. She would ask for the same information over and over and would get
frustrated at herself for forgetting even the simplest of things. For someone
who was used to being organized and efficient, I can understand her
frustration. One just has to be more patient with her.
She used to be busy with church, socio-civic activities
(being a member of Catholic Women’s League or CWL, and Kiwanis Club), and
aerobics classes in the village, and she would hear Mass every 6AM every day.
But after one or two epileptic seizure episodes in the church where she hit her head or bit her tongue, and people around her did not know
what to do, we were afraid to let her leave the house alone. So now, she just
keeps herself occupied with her plants, and with her two great grandchildren. Since she doesn’t live with me, I don’t get to
spend a lot of time with her, but I am thankful that my sisters are able to take
good care of her.
Each time I celebrate my birthday, I would call up my folks
as a habit. Since my father died, I think I have never failed to call up my mom
just to hear her greeting. She has this child-like voice over the phone, and I
would wait for her to giggle as I tease her and remind her of my age. I have a
weird way of showing my love. But I know that she knows that I love her. I just hope she won't forget that.
~TheGoodGirl
No comments:
Post a Comment
Let me know your thoughts. Good Vibes ♥