Early 2009 Thoughts

Last year, in a trip to Mauban with Alex, I started to open the papers (PDI, of course) and guess what page I landed on - a San Beda College of Law announcement ad.

Dreams and frustrations of becoming a lawyer suddenly came back to me. On that particular moment, I wanted to take the entrance exam. I scanned the requirements and thought, I have them all - except for new transcript of records. What I have was the typewritten version with "kagat ng daga" on the side. Yup, I'm not kidding, may kagat nga ng daga at ubod ng luma. But that was easy, I guess, I mean getting a new set.

I told Alex, who was driving, that maybe it was fate that I should see that ad to remind me of a well, not really lost but slippery dream of mine. Well, most of you should know by now that I married a year and a half after graduation, got pregnant right away and got busy with parenting and career-building that I was not able to pursue the dream. But it has remained at the back of my mind (and at the bottom of my heart) through the years like a piece of meat stuck between your teeth or a splinter in your toe.

I don't know if I'll still be able to take up Law someday (I actually requested for new TOR and my friend Len helped me get them. Thanks, Len!). I could do it under a scholarship program (that's how generous my employer is). Yup, as in all expenses paid. But right now, sobrang pressure na sa job and I don't think I can take much pressure. Baka mag-nervous breakdown na ko. Isa pa, I need to have a stable household. Yung tipong hindi na aalis ang yaya at maid ko para hindi ko na problemahin. Lagay eh, papasok ako at magrerecite pero ang nasa isip ko, shet, walang magluluto, tambak ang labada and all that stuff. Baka mapag-rumble rumble ko ang mga cases, batukan ako ng prof.

Perhaps, in time, in His time. I'm not losing hope. After all, my father took up Law when all his four children were in school (college na ko nun) and passed the bar (Take 1, mind you) at the age of 52. May pag-asa pa.

In the meantime, while I'm waiting for His go-signal, maybe I could take up some units in Education (ayoko kasing mag-MBA) to at least quench my thirst to go back to the academe. Balak ko kasi, after I retire, maybe I could go into teaching, kahit part-time lang. Na-inspire ako sa English teacher ko nung high school who is still teaching Journalism in a local college. She's the adviser of the college publication and parang gusto ko ng ganun. She still looks young and maybe working with young people makes her so. Ayokong tumanda na masungit at idle.

Wish me luck.

The best of 2009 to you all!