Are you an energy vampire?

Alex didn’t think I was serious when I mentioned to him that I might be the one who’s draining his energy these past few days.

 

The spirit was willing but the flesh was weak, so he had to take two days off to rest his weary body, after consecutive late nights finishing his sideline writing jobs and putting up with my mood swings. So I told him, maybe I was indirectly or unintentionally contributing to his poor condition.

 

If there are emotional vampires, there are energy vampires, too. According to Laurie Pawlik Kienlen in http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/stop_energy_vampires, energy vampires “drain your spirit by depleting your positive energy, just like real vampires slurp blood. Energy vampires - such as drama queens - leave you feeling drained and listless…” and from OPRAH.com, “…those who leave you feeling stressed out. Or guilty. Or exhausted down to your very last molecule.”

 

Yup, not all vampires are like the Cullens (well, their beauty is breath-taking, but that’s another story) or the ones in Anne Rice’s novels. "Human beings are sources of energy, and every interaction involves an exchange of that energy," says Jon Gordon, author of Energy Addict. "Even if you're in great health, an energy vampire can cause you to feel exhausted."

 

Psychiatrists say there are eight most common types of energy vampires: sob sister, drama queen, blamer, fixer-upper, outwardly nice socializer, go-for-the-jugular fiend, constant talker/joke-teller, and unintentional sapper, although there may be other varieties who are “lurking in dark shadows.”

 

I came across the “energy vampire” term in a forum. One of the forum members said, a trick is to hide the thumb behind all four fingers. It is said to close one’s aura. Another is to “cut cords.” When we relate to people, we create cords (or ties) and sometimes, the member said, the stress that we feel is not ours, but that of the energy vampire. Some do “shielding”, or creating shields (or bubbles) which Bella ably demonstrated in Breaking Dawn.

 

There are ways that are more practical, as shared by Kienlen in 11 Ways to Protect Yourself From Energy Vampires:

1. Limit the amount of time you spend with energy vampires. The less time you're together, the less positive energy you'll lose.


2. Learn effective ways to end conversations with energy vampires (eg, I only have ten minutes to talk.")


3. Stay calm and detached from energy vampires. Don't let their negative energy consume you.


4. Be honest about your needs (e.g. "I need this time to work/read/relax/exercise.")


5. Refrain from attempting to rescue them or fix an energy vampire's problems.


6. Practice walking away from energy vampires; the more you do it, the easier it gets.


7. Limit eye contact with energy vampires.


8. Avoid being in close spaces with energy vampires (elevators, cars, etc). Negative energy is catching.


9. Define and guard your personal space from energy vampires.


10. Tell energy vampires you feel uncomfortable discussing particular people or circumstances.


11. Stand up for yourself and your boundaries! Your time, positive energy, and resources are precious and should be closely guarded from energy vampires.

O ayan, Daddy, I’m giving you tips na, ha :)

Spot the Difference

Who's who? Which is which?

Do you know your regions?

Kabisado ninyo ba? Si Caehl, yes.

A Valentine Promise

Saturday started with Cae rounding up her friends for a play rehearsal at home, and us paying her February tuition fee (yahoo, one more month to go). We had breakfast at McDonalds with Caehl who joined our weekly trip to SM Hypermarket Muntinlupa.    Later in the afternoon, Alex and I went to Makati for our Valentine date. "Baka traffic,” I was telling him. But since we (especially I who have become an Alabang girl) seldom go to the Makati malls, sige na nga din. Ang hirap tumakas kay Caehl, who was hurrying to slip into his Crocs, akala niya kasama siya.   We had an early dinner at CPK (mushroom ravioli, sausage pizza) and "revisited" Greenbelt afterwards. Although we were there for lunch a week ago with Cae and her friends, it seemed like ang tagal ko nang hindi nakita ang Greenbelt. Sure, I go to Makati once in a while but mostly on official business, so technically noon lang uli ako nakabalik, and this time we were in no hurry.   Makati brings back sad memories, actually - old and unfriendly ghosts, painful realizations and associations, mahabang kuwento. I was trying to mentally push them away while we were walking hand in hand under the Greenbelt lights. My mental walis was at work that night. Busing-busy.   Next stop was Greenbelt 3 to watch Valkyrie. The lines were long, as expected. We checked out Glorietta's schedule and decided to catch the 8pm screening. If that wasn't suspense, then I don't know what to call it. I cried during the execution scene. What was I doing? Last year, when we stayed at home to watch the Amazing Race finale (yup, it was our Valentine date), I also remember crying when Marc and Rovilson lost.   Which made me think of how we celebrated Valentine's the previous years. How could we ever recall each one of them, when we already had a lot?   There was a time Alex sent me roses in our Makati office, it was in 1998, if I'm not mistaken.   Then in 2005, we ended up in Macahora Bar in Pacita, giving up on jampacked Alabang.   2006 was at the Poolside, Bellevue Hotel. It was actually a challenging period for me and Alex, and it made the evening more meaningful for us both. And yes, we came out of such challenge alive, kicking and together - thank God.   The following year, we had dinner at Leslie's Tagaytay. The beef (bulalo, Leslie’s specialty) was so tender but masarap pa rin daw ang nilagang baka ko, sabi ni Alex.   Alex and I will celebrate our 17th anniversary as a couple this year. Past Valentine dates may have been perfunctory, or wala lang, masabi lang na nag-date or nag-celebrate. Or part of a routine. Eh sino pa ba ang ka-Valentine ko or ka-Valentine niya di ba, may meaning man o wala.

 

Valentine’s or no Valentine’s, each day is now more meaningful for us both. As I have told Alex, we’re nearing our forties, and we’d be lucky to see through another forty years together. I certainly don't want to waste another second away from my husband. And I want us to spend and enjoy every moment together.

 

It doesn't mean we won't argue or fight or disagree anymore.  Sure, I’ll still get mad at him. Sure, I’ll still get on his nerves.

 

But we’ll do it in style.

 

Happy Valentine’s, Daddy.  Everyday, I love you.

I Choose You (Mario)

Heh, you know Someone loses someone they love everyday And I'm fortunate to still have you in my life 'Cause I know I made some mistakes in the past but I'm tired of making excuses Listen   For whatever might have been And all that it never was Whatever I couldn't see And all that I didn't want   There was a method to my madness girl That wasn't clear to me Until the day I saw your face When I saw everything   For I saw us dancing through sunshine and rain And I saw us laughing through joy and through pain And I saw time passing but we did not change And I still saw us together at the end of every day   Whenever you want it Whenever you need it Whatever you feel like, it's gon' be like You better believe it Whenever you feel like dancing You don't have to dance alone, no You know, you know, you know You should already know I choose you I choose you I choose you I choose you I choose you I choose you I choose you I choose you   I felt you inside myself Before I could even feel I knew you like no one else But still I couldn't tell, Oh Girl, none of it made sense to me Girl, none of it was real Until the day I saw your face And it was clear to see   Whenever you want it (Whenever you want it) Whenever you need it (Whenever you need it, baby) Whatever you feel like, it's gon' be like You better believe it (You better believe it) Whenever you feel like dancing You don't have to dance alone, no (Oh, no) You know, you know, you know You should already know I choose you (I choose you, baby) I choose you (I choose you, girl) I choose you I choose you (You know that I choose you) I choose you I choose you I choose you I choose you   Throughout our times, people have searched their lives Hoping that they might find the chance where they can make things right Through my desire, thank God I found the fire Oh, for everything has led me straight to you (Youuuu....)   Whenever you want it Whenever you need it (Baby) Whatever you feel like, it's gon' be like You better believe it (Oh, you better believe it) Whenever you feel like dancing You don't have to dance alone, no You know, you know, you know You should already know I choose you I choose you I choose you I choose you I choose you I choose you I choose you (Yeah, oh baby darling) I choose you (Said I'm choosing you)   I choose you (Oh baby baby) I choose you (Girl I made up my mind) I choose you (And I choose you) I choose you I choose you I choose you I choose you I choose you

At Big 30 Pizza Pasta

Ba celebrated her birthday with the whole family at Big 30, Paseo de Santa Rosa. The pizzas are 30" big! And they have iced tea towers!

Caehl reads Brainy Babies Alphabet

Caehl is a certified Kapuso

my 3-year old son recites all the GMA 7 shows

Prom Album 2

more prom pics

Caitlin's Prom

Colegio San Agustin-Biñan February 06, 2009 Manila Hotel

Mama's birthday

Start:

Feb 6, '09

Caitlin's Prom

Start:	Feb 6, '09 6:00p
End:	Feb 7, '09 12:00a
Location:	Manila Hotel

Meghann's birthday

Start:

Feb 5, '09

Staking my claim

Last Saturday, I joined Alex in one of his becoming-too-frequent trips to Mauban, Quezon. Just last month, he checked out his katiwala’s piggery that I was not able to attend an officemate’s wedding. I don’t want to pre-empt this though, so I’ll leave him to do the talking through his Multiply site.

 

Actually, this trip is only my fourth. The first one was in 1995; Cae has just turned a year old then. The second, I can’t remember if it was the following year but it was when the country hosted the APEC and we laborers had a long week-end or so. Remember when villas were being constructed in Subic for each of the 18 heads of state? That’s it.

 

Anyway, I remember making that trip with Alex and Tita Panching via JAC Liner. In Lucena, we took another bus ride to Mauban for almost two hours. But it seemed like eternity because the roads then were bumpy and dusty, and the bus had no air-conditioning. I think I had to cover my hair with a bandanna and Tita Panching was nauseous most of the time. Who wouldn’t be? And yeah, I think that road experience spoiled my appetite for Mauban from then on, that Alex would either go alone (or with Tita Panching) when he had to.

 

The third was only last year. It was a rainy day. Pabalik-balik kami sa palayan, sa binhi dealer, then to his aunt’s villa then to the palayan again after a nap in the villa. I had to stay inside the car the rest of the afternoon, listening to Hale. Afterwards, we went to Sampaloc, the next town, to purchase the “binhi” because Alex was told we could get a good deal there.

 

The road seemed endless once again. It took us an hour back and forth. Ang dilim pa nung nag-CR ako which pissed me off. The ride home was even darker. As in walang poste ng Meralco. Buti na lang Alex is comfortable driving in the dark (ako, hindi ko kaya). Kakaloka. I think the only time I uttered a word was when we stopped over at Max’s (sa Tayabas nga ba yun, Dadi?) to have dinner. Sabi ni Alex, mukhang pagod na pagod na daw ako. And mind you, pasahero lang ako nito ha, eh di lalo na siya na driver pa?

 

So parang in a way, na-trauma na naman ako pagpunta dun. As mentioned, Alex’s trip to Mauban became more frequent, especially when the palayan became a reality. Nagugulat ako sa kanya pag pumupunta siya dun na balikan, driving alone for 4 hours papunta, and another 3 ½ to 4 hours pabalik, especially when Tita Panching doesn’t feel well and couldn’t come with him.

 

This recent trip of mine was a result of many reasons (majority are selfish reasons actually). But even I was surprised that I was looking forward to it. I didn’t mind getting up early on a Saturday morning and I was praying for a sunny day. The trip was quicker than I expected. It was my first time to see the “kamalig” built to serve as rice stockroom, and of course, the pig pen. It was also my first time to meet his katiwala’s family, and to finally put a face to the names of some Mauban folks na sa kuwento ko lang naririnig before.

 

Ilan na ba ang anak ninyo? I was asked thrice. “Ah dalawa na ba?” “Ah, magfi-fifteen na ba panganay ninyo? Eh parang bagong kasal lang kayo.” Ngek.

 

I admit there was a time that I used to treat these undertakings as Alex’s alone. I remember telling him, “Basta, Dadi, make sure that our finances don’t get affected. Hindi tayo mayaman (to venture into such projects).”

 

Hindi naman talaga. Well, the properties were inherited, but the money that goes into these projects is ours. Salaried employees lang din naman kami and I’d like to set things straight. What Alex earns, combined with mine, see us through from one payday to another. Lahat ng matitipid, titipirin. Lahat ng kinikita, galing sa utak, dugo at pawis. If there are sidelines coming his way (although not enough para yumaman kami), thank God, but the earnings don’t go to frivolous or senseless stuff. All our expenses are thought of and well considered. Wala nga kaming savings kung tutuusin. So you could just imagine yung feeling na parang nagdagdag pa kami ng pagkakagastusan.

 

Yet, this time, I knew the feeling is different.

Pagtapak ko sa lupa, I felt with all my heart that it was ours. Not his, not mine. But ours. I could only feel pride for my husband who has been working real hard for this, despite setbacks. I know and I'm certain that this is not just for him nor for me but for us and for Caitlin and Caehl.

The trip was still a long one but it seemed shorter. The roads were still dark but I saw everything in a new light. The comfort rooms were not a “comfort” at all but I didn’t mind. Standing by the kamalig’s window, iba yung simoy ng hangin, and even the moving clouds caught my attention.

 

Alex doesn’t know this yet but from now on, I stake my claim on everything. If there was a time that I was indifferent or selfish or complacent even, that was then. I think it’s about time I assert my right. And I’ll guard this right with all my might.

If it means having to pour out our hearts and souls into this, then so be it. We were given this chance and it may not come along again. We will still have setbacks but if Alex faced all of them in the past alone, this time he has me and he will always have me. We will face them all together.

Where have all the LPG gone?

Weeks ago, my officemate Maricel asked if we ever experienced difficulty in buying LPG (liquefied petroleum gas) lately. She said there might be a shortage since her (and her in-laws') suki has not been selling LPG for three weeks now. "Kung saan-saan na kami naghanap." At that time, I could only joke, "Baka naman sa Cavite lang."

Actually, I was clueless. We bought ours before Christmas and we usually use it up one and a half months to two months. So right now, there's no need for us to buy yet, and I don't usually buy an extra tank (mahal kasi yung basyo, for one). Then one afternoon, another friend texted to tell me she'll be dropping by Festival Mall to buy an electric stove. I didn't know it was that serious. And hey, don't tell me pati sa Laguna may shortage?

Yup, so it turned out to be real. Even my mom said she's having her charcoal stove ready. She says they haven't been cooking dishes which take time to cook (e.g. nilagang baka). "Baka biglang maubos (ang LPG)."

And so, after quick trips to nearby appliance shops, I finally settled on a Wimpex double coil electric stove. Buti na lang, nagpatumpik-tumpik pa ko in choosing between Wimpex (P1,400 and up, meron nung coil at merong plate ) and La Germania which my friend bought, a single coil stove costing P1,700+. "Ganun na ba kamahal"?, asked Alex.

When I came back last Friday, wow, sale sa Shopwise! Instead of coughing up P1,400+, I got it for only P995 with a free non-stick frying pan. How lucky can you get. Well, lucky if I don't get to use it. Kasi yung kuryente naman ang tataas di ba. Pero hindi naman ako nanghihinayang. Compared to my peace of mind na ke may LPG stock or wala, I know that may malulutuan kami.

See related news items:
www.gmanews.tv/story/144866/House-probe-looms-over-LPG-shortage
http://www.philstar.com/Article.aspx?ArticleId=435630&publicationSubCategoryId=63
http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/nation/view/20090108-182235/No-LPG-shortage----DOE