Chances Are (A Valentine Blog)

Which one do you prefer (or which is applicable to you): If it’s meant to be, it will be or If you want it, go for it?

Some say you have to wait for the right time to get what you want. “Sa tamang panahon.” But what if you just have to go and get it, or the moment might pass you by?

Sometimes in life, there are no second chances. Sometimes, there’s not even a first. In love, someone said it’s better to put your heart on the line, risk everything, and walk away with nothing than play it safe. It’s better to be scared, or embarrassed, or hurt, because it means you took your chances.

I have always been a believer in that thing called love. No matter how many times I fell and blew it, no matter how many times I got hit and died, I would always recover and bounce back. True, it would scare you to the point that you will no longer want to live, laugh and love again. I tried both ways – in looking for the one person for me among eight billion people, 1) I waited for the right time and 2) I went for it. Hit or miss. Trial and error. There’s no right formula. You just have to suck it or f*ck off. It’s just the way things are. Otherwise, you will never know. And you will never find that elusive “forever.”

“Sometimes the course of our lives depends on what we do or don't do in a few seconds, a heartbeat, when we either seize the opportunity, or just miss it. Miss the moment and you never get a chance again.”

― Aidan Chambers, Dying to Know You

I believe in taking chances. There are those things that might happen only once, and those chances that just might never happen again. And if you do get lucky, I believe in second chances – whether in love, or in life in general. You may have made some bad decisions in life and you regretted most of them. But that’s just half of the story. The other half is during that time, you were happy. And during that time, that was what you wanted. Either way, you learn your lessons. And you become a better person. You learn to make better decisions. In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take. Oprah Winfrey said, “When you get the chance, go for it!”

“You don’t want to wake up and realize you could have been happy, that the risks would have been worth it, but you dwindled away your chances.”

― Sarah Noffke, Revived

And when you are given that rare second chance, as not everybody deserves it, take it and don’t waste it. It may not guarantee a happy ending or a “forever”, but just the same, it is an opportunity to make things right, or make things better. To live smarter. To laugh more. To love harder.

Thank you for giving me a second chance. 

Happy Valentine's, everyone!

~TheGoodGirl

A Valentine Story

February 14, 1992, morning - I went out of our Journalism classroom for a drink at the nearby water fountain. I saw a guy standing outside the room beside ours. Late for his class, I presumed. But hey, I know this guy.

“It’s Valentine’s Day today,” I called out to him.

He just said (curtly even), “So what?”

Suplado naman, I thought.

A month or so later, I dreamed of the guy one night. The following morning, he was the first guy I saw in Tinoko Park on my way to class.


I tapped him on his shoulder. “Hey, napaginipan kita kagabi (I dreamed of you last night).” Without looking back and waiting for his reply, I continued walking.

Little did I know that that guy who didn’t care about Valentine’s would be my Valentine for the rest of my life. For many years, Alex and I would greet each other “Happy So-What Day”, acknowledging that one particular moment in our lives.

In fairness, we’ve had a lot of memorable and unforgettable Valentine dates. As a girlfriend (or wife), I guess I am not the sweetest person around. Despite my seemingly sociable personality, I am not really a showy, demonstrative gal (except when it comes to my kids). Alex knows it and has accepted it. If he took it against me and takes it against me even now, I cannot help it. It’s just the way I am. I express or display my love in a different way, in my own unique way. And I guess again that people who are dear to me have long understood and accepted me the way I am.

Alex would often tell me that he never stopped thinking about me after those encounters. Just before my graduation, we ended up together. And we are still together. And there is no way I will ever give him up. Not yesterday, not today, not tomorrow.

Malay ko ba, I would tell him, I never planned those encounters anyway.

Maybe the One Up there did. But don’t tell Alex that maybe, just maybe, I prayed a little bit that He would.

Happy Valentine’s everyone! Live, love, and learn.

Acknowledgment: Photo courtesy of http://wikimapia.org/3002449/Tinoko-Park

 

A Valentine Promise

Saturday started with Cae rounding up her friends for a play rehearsal at home, and us paying her February tuition fee (yahoo, one more month to go). We had breakfast at McDonalds with Caehl who joined our weekly trip to SM Hypermarket Muntinlupa.    Later in the afternoon, Alex and I went to Makati for our Valentine date. "Baka traffic,” I was telling him. But since we (especially I who have become an Alabang girl) seldom go to the Makati malls, sige na nga din. Ang hirap tumakas kay Caehl, who was hurrying to slip into his Crocs, akala niya kasama siya.   We had an early dinner at CPK (mushroom ravioli, sausage pizza) and "revisited" Greenbelt afterwards. Although we were there for lunch a week ago with Cae and her friends, it seemed like ang tagal ko nang hindi nakita ang Greenbelt. Sure, I go to Makati once in a while but mostly on official business, so technically noon lang uli ako nakabalik, and this time we were in no hurry.   Makati brings back sad memories, actually - old and unfriendly ghosts, painful realizations and associations, mahabang kuwento. I was trying to mentally push them away while we were walking hand in hand under the Greenbelt lights. My mental walis was at work that night. Busing-busy.   Next stop was Greenbelt 3 to watch Valkyrie. The lines were long, as expected. We checked out Glorietta's schedule and decided to catch the 8pm screening. If that wasn't suspense, then I don't know what to call it. I cried during the execution scene. What was I doing? Last year, when we stayed at home to watch the Amazing Race finale (yup, it was our Valentine date), I also remember crying when Marc and Rovilson lost.   Which made me think of how we celebrated Valentine's the previous years. How could we ever recall each one of them, when we already had a lot?   There was a time Alex sent me roses in our Makati office, it was in 1998, if I'm not mistaken.   Then in 2005, we ended up in Macahora Bar in Pacita, giving up on jampacked Alabang.   2006 was at the Poolside, Bellevue Hotel. It was actually a challenging period for me and Alex, and it made the evening more meaningful for us both. And yes, we came out of such challenge alive, kicking and together - thank God.   The following year, we had dinner at Leslie's Tagaytay. The beef (bulalo, Leslie’s specialty) was so tender but masarap pa rin daw ang nilagang baka ko, sabi ni Alex.   Alex and I will celebrate our 17th anniversary as a couple this year. Past Valentine dates may have been perfunctory, or wala lang, masabi lang na nag-date or nag-celebrate. Or part of a routine. Eh sino pa ba ang ka-Valentine ko or ka-Valentine niya di ba, may meaning man o wala.

 

Valentine’s or no Valentine’s, each day is now more meaningful for us both. As I have told Alex, we’re nearing our forties, and we’d be lucky to see through another forty years together. I certainly don't want to waste another second away from my husband. And I want us to spend and enjoy every moment together.

 

It doesn't mean we won't argue or fight or disagree anymore.  Sure, I’ll still get mad at him. Sure, I’ll still get on his nerves.

 

But we’ll do it in style.

 

Happy Valentine’s, Daddy.  Everyday, I love you.