A Tale of Two Writers

While we were in Starbucks this afternoon, and as Alex and Caehl were sitting comfortably preparing to read, I commented on their book purchases.

“Aba, dalawa pala ang books na binili ni Daddy.”

Then Caehl said, “I’m not much into fiction.”

Me: What? What do you mean? You don’t prefer fiction, you don’t like reading fiction?

Caehl: No. Parang hindi (ina-accept) ng brain ko.

I just laughed. I didn’t know how to process that. “Grabe ka naman.”

Why, he asked.

Me: Because your dad and I are fictionists.

Me: Didn’t you know that your dad is the UST Rector’s Literary Award winner in 1992? And didn’t you know that I published my first fiction when I was 17, and I got paid for that?

Come to think of it, yes, Caehl isn’t much into fiction. He has always been a no-nonsense, serious reader. I know we tried to introduce him to some teen / young adult literature but he is really into reference books. His collection is composed mostly of dictionaries, encyclopedias, almanacs, and atlases. And I realized after that conversation that yes, fiction was my life then. I was a short story writer. And his dad, too.

Alex is the better writer between the two of us, there’s no contest and I acknowledge that (well, in fact UST did). While I got paid for my published works in local women’s magazines when we were in college, he won literary awards for his short fiction and poetry. And he was one of the favorites of the late Dean Ophelia A. Dimalanta (one of the country's most respected writers).

I told him, “Nakakamiss din magsulat ng fiction, no? Kaya ko pa kaya?”

Why not, he said. Bakit hindi mo gawin? Mas marami ka ngang time ngayon.

I don’t know if I still can. When I was still working, puro memos, project proposals, presentations na lang ang alam ko. Now naman, puro blogs na lang sinusulat ko. I mean, as in real-life, honest-to-goodness everyday experiences, moments and adventures. Hindi ko alam kung kaya ko pa gumawa ng fiction. Dati nun, nagreresearch pa ako sa settings ko.

Wow, napapailing na lang ako. Yan nga pala ang past life ko. I cannot remember now how many short stories of mine were published (maybe more than 10?), and some poetry. Magazines may be a thing of the past now, but it was a big deal back then. Imagine my thrill as a seventeener when I received a checque way back 1988. I just graduated from high school then, trying to make my summer memorable before entering college. As I didn’t have a bank account, I had to go to the branch in Binondo to encash it, and the other checques that followed nung nasa UST na ko. My parents were so proud of me. Lalo na ang Papa ko na kasama ko palagi sa bank. In fact, I had a compilation of my short stories, two volumes yun, type-written na naka-bind (Jimmy Doe and Other Stories, Volume 1 and Volume 2). But sadly, I lost them, I don’t know how. Maybe it was after we moved back to my parent’s house in Laguna after 4 years in QC. Tapos binabaha pa bahay namin nun.

I also dreamed of writing a novel. I remember seeing myself in a beach house na nagsusulat kahit matanda na ko. 

I still can dream, can’t I?

Note: The Gawad Ustetika Rector's Literary Award is given to a literary work that best reflects the “University’s Catholic vision of grace and redemption.” 

Visit therealgoodgirl.blogspot.com

#talesofthegoodgirl | May 21, 2023

 

 

 

Thomasian Throwback

Acknowledgment: http://wikimapia.org/3002449/Rosarium-Garden#/photo/1214931

I was having lunch with my kids one day, listening to Cae and Kong’s bantering and talking about UST. Butting in, I said what I miss about UST, or where I used to hang out, was Tinoko Park. That’s where 3C5/4C5 (in short, Journ majors) would usually stay, while waiting for the next class or just not wanting to go home yet. It is the park across AB (or St. Raymund’s Building). It is now known as Rosarium.

To me, Tinoko will always be a place where dreams were conceived, ideals carried on, relationships found and lost. I remember it was where most of the students’ political groups used to gather, with their streamers and stuff strewn all over. For some, it served as a rehearsal venue, with cassette recorders in tow. Some would bring their typewriters for paperwork or assignments. Some would review for their quizzes or exams. Tambayan. Kainan. Intayan. Meeting place. Lovers’ lane. Kung wala kang jowa nun, aww shet. I also remember a soft drink truck parked nearby, from where my naughty classmates “stole” a few bottles. Other favorite activities of Journ majors were people-watching, heckling, making noise, mang-okray ng mga nagdadaan, and endless chikahan. But lest you think that those were only the things we're good at, can I just say that UST AB Journalism has produced quite a lot of great graduates.

Life was so much simpler then. Hindi pa uso ang cellphone, Starbucks, gadgets. Puro hard copy ang notes, puro pa-xerox. Ang camera nun, de-film pa. There we were in Tretorn sneakers or Converse. “Walking shorts” pa ang tawag. And being a working student was an "in" thing then. If you hadn’t worked for a fast food chain during our time, you were an exception. I worked as service crew in Red Ribbon Timog when I was in 2^nd year. My work hours were 3pm-8pm (closing time) Monday-Saturday, after class; 4pm-8pm when I have PE classes. Alala ko, one time, after my table tennis class, diretso na ko sa office, still wearing my cream PE shirt, black skirt and black PE shoes. Since it was still early for my shift, using the wall, I practiced hitting the pingpong ball back and forth. I overheard someone say, “Sino yung bata?” Hahaha. Neneng-nene pa siguro nun, napagkamalan akong “bata.” The only celebrity I saw then was Regine Velasquez. When I was in 3^rd year, I worked as a part-time writer for a news agency which had an office on Scout Ybardolaza, QC. I would report every MWF in the afternoon. 

We did not have yet the carpark which houses McDonald’s, KFC, among others, now. Other popular tambayans were the UST Coop, the Main Building, Colayco Park (now the Quadricentennial Park) and eventually, The UST Miguel de Benavides Library. And of course, the Flame office in St. Raymund’s Building. Madalas din, naka-Indian seat lang sa corridors, in our long dark blue skirts. 

For me, the best “wholesome” kainans / hang-out places were Janet’s and Mike’s (the best Southern style fried chicken ever with cole slaw on the side), Malls close to UST were limited to SM City / North EDSA (1 jeepney ride away) and SM Centerpoint (1 bus ride away).

If you asked me if I had my share of flood horror stories, you bet. You will never be a real Thomasian kung wala kang experience na ganito. Ang dugong nananalaytay sa amin ay hindi lang black-white-gold, kundi tubig-baha. I was stranded many times, and I would walk home wading along the dark cold water. May ipis pa. Ewww. And yes, meron din namang HHWW sa baha memories. LOL.

And maybe the best thing that happened to me as a Thomasian was meeting my partner in life. While he was a Literature major, Alex and I had the same circle of writer-friends. Tahimik lang siya, medyo suplado. Hi Hello lang, usually. He was in love with (or getting over) another girl at that time, and I with somebody else, too. I didn’t know why I dreamed of him one night. The following morning, I saw him along Tinoko. I greeted him by saying, “Uy, napaginipan kita kagabi.” I didn’t wait for his answer, I just kept on walking. Yun pala, magiging kami later on.

One afternoon, April of 1992, there we were, Alex and I, sitting on one of the benches, watching the sunset. We were already a couple but we didn’t know it. We just needed formality. So I decided to ask. “So, anong anniversary natin? April 1 o 3?” And right then and there, we agreed that it was going to be April 3. Who said there was no forever? Was it Rita Rudner who said that "It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

UST will always be home. And I will always be a proud and growling Thomasian. #GoUSTE

~TheGoodGirl

CLOSING RIGHTS

As Chay (an officemate) said, this is a Blogspot moment. This calls for a new blog entry.

Around 11am yesterday (March 21), I missed a call from Cae. Calling her back, she was screaming and crying, cum laude raw sya.

She has been praying so hard for this. I kept telling her, “Don’t stress yourself. If you’re thinking about me, don’t. It’s ok if you don’t get it. I will not be disappointed. Bonus na lang yun.”

The fact that she is marching on March 27 (3 days before her 20^th birthday), finally getting a BS degree, is enough for me. I am so happy and proud already. My only request for her then was to take her studies seriously and finish college. That’s all.  

Well, she did more than that - she is graduating with honors, with a GWA of 1.712. More than what I achieved. More than what her dad and I dreamed of.

My daughter and I are opposites. While I was a three-time Valedictorian (kinder, grade school, high school), Cae was not an honor student in high school, although she had a few Eagles back in grade school. (Edited to add: She skipped Kinder A though, as she was accelerated to Kinder B. A reason why she's one year younger than her batch mates.) To me, it was a given. All my life, honors and awards were a normal thing, no big deal, all in a day’s work. I would attend recognition rites na normal lang. Nagtataka ako nun, bakit yung iba, nagpapa-parlor pa, nagbibihis, nag-aayos, nagpapa-makeup? What’s up? You’d just go up the stage, aabutan ka ng medals, tapos na. Sometimes, may blow-out or swimming party, but more often than not, diretsong uwi lang kami sa bahay.

In college, though, I was just one of the guys, although my GWA was not so bad (I was some points away from the cum laude cut-off). I didn’t study hard enough. If I were what I have been in high school, I would have killed it, too. But I was so pa-easy-easy in college. That’s why come graduation day, I was so envious of my cum laude classmates who were asked to offer their medals to their parents. On our way home from PICC, I was crying at the backseat. My family thought I was just thinking of how I would miss college and my friends. But deep inside me, I was feeling so bad for letting my folks down. Although they did not tell me they were disappointed or sad, I thought it would have been a perfect gift to them, a consolation prize for sending us 3 older kids to college at the same time. I was never able to delete this episode from my mind. In fact, I wrote an article entitled Writing 30 when I was 30 years old about my regrets in life, and here, I cited not being able to graduate from college with honors as one of those regrets. A “failure.” Yes, I think I failed my parents on this item.  And then, I got pregnant and married early, at age 22. I was not able to pursue law, my father’s dream for me.

My parenting style when it comes to studying is to let them be. I have always believed that cream will always rise to the top. Kahit saan mo ilagay ang anak mo, lilitaw at lilitaw ang galing at talino. You just have to support and guide them. I never pressured them to be like me. I am not and was never a Hitler mom. I let them study and review on their own, in their own pace and time. Masisipag naman sila. As long as they’re not failing, a few mistakes are fine by me.

Compared to Cae now, kinabog ako! Who would have thought that the child I was carrying then would bail me out? I am vindicated. I feel like this is my closure to those 2 failures and regrets. Cae is a marvelous daughter. While she seemed “maarte” and yes, pa-easy-easy (read: pa-partey-partey), she is a diligent college student. She’s not just pretty but intelligent, too. Like her dad (Alex is the recipient of the 1992 UST Rector's Literary Award, UST's highest literary award for students), she expresses herself and her thoughts on paper beautifully. I am so happy that she heeded my advice. I know that she had to endure comparisons to me when she was younger. “Naku, di ka gumaya sa mommy mo.” People would say, “Ang mommy mo noon, laging first honor.” Even my own mama used to tell her, “Ang mahal ng tuition mo. Sa mommy mo noon, wala kaming binayarang tuition.” And nowadays, I know she would hear a lot of “Mana ka sa mommy mo.”

But this is not about me. Or her dad. The truth is, she’s her own person. She is as unique as her name. She is amazing. I love you, naknik. You make me so proud, your dad and I are the happiest parents on earth. Not just because of this achievement of yours (at the end of the day, wala naman yan talaga sa school or sa honors but for what you have become). We love you because you are you. And because you are our daughter.

Thank you to everyone who liked Cae’s FB posts and photos, and those who sent their greetings via FB. Your kind words and warm thoughts are greatly appreciated.

~TheGoodGirl

Previous blogs on Cae: 

http://therealgoodgirl.blogspot.com/2010/03/graduation-rights_7544.html
http://therealgoodgirl.blogspot.com/2014/03/one-in-million.html
http://therealgoodgirl.blogspot.com/2013/07/college-collage.html

One in a million

What can you do with a million pesos?

Possible answers:

• Buy a property (house, condo unit or car).
• Spend it on a major event (e.g. wedding, debut).
• Travel.
• Pay off loans (or debts).
• Put up a business (or acquire a business franchise).
• Save or set the money aside.

For the last item, if you are a parent, you may want to add, “Use it as college fund.”

My daughter’s graduation on March 27, 2014 and a recent blog “Planning your Child's Education (EDUCATION PLANNING)” made me think about this and prompted me to compute our total investment on her college education.

True enough, one would need a million bucks for a college diploma nowadays. Tuition is not the only thing to worry about, as there are other “financial commitments.” On our part, Cae is an education plan baby (refer to my other blog entry). I am so proud of this investment of ours and it was a great help indeed. A special note to parents who have kids below 4 years old: Please consider having one. In these times, you are no longer limited to traditional education plans, as there are investment-linked insurance plans that provide funds for your child’s education. These products give you flexibility and allow you to save for several years of schooling depending on what you require (high school, college, or even post graduate degrees). And then there are also scholarship grants offered by private institutions or universities. Grab these opportunities while you can.  So you can scratch off (or a portion of) the first column ↓.

Below is the breakdown of our expenses for four years (click on table to enlarge image).  

Some items may not be applicable to everyone, as they are exclusive to a Travel Management course (e.g. local/international trips, events). Cae went to Cebu-Bohol and South Korea, and had a Manila tour guide exam. They had an events management subject where they had to stage an actual event and they were also required to attend events sponsored by the other classes. Even then, take note that some courses are more expensive (e.g. Multimedia Arts, Nursing, Dentistry, Architecture or Engineering).  My cousin had to purchase an expensive camera and other equipment for his daughter who is taking up Multimedia Arts. For those who have kids pursuing special interests or hobbies (culinary arts, sports, ballet, theater, and photography, among others) during their college years, you may have to shell out more.

Her thesis was about Malapascua Island so she and her groupmates had to go there personally.

Cae didn’t need so many books, but her French and German books were expensive. They also had journals and lots of photocopied materials.

Transportation expenses would also vary; some would have their personal vehicles (gasoline, toll fees, parking fees) while others would take PUVs or join a carpool. If you must, for your info/reference, driving lessons cost Php6,600 (10hrs) – 9,800 (15hrs) for sedan / manual.

Some universities have prescribed uniforms but you would still need to shop for clothes appropriate for school, right? PE uniforms and gears change every semester (1^st and 2^nd year), depending on the program taken (badminton, arnis, table tennis, etc). Cae’s South Korea trip was last February 2013, so we had to get her some winter clothes and accessories. For CTHM, pantyhose are a must to go with their uniform (cream blouse with special fabric exclusive only to UST, green scarf, dark blue vest, and dark blue skirt) – that’s an additional non-negotiable item plus make-up. For her OJT , they were required to wear a grey uniform.

Cae is not a “branded” girl, you can buy her any kind of shoes but for some reason, her feet seem to eat her shoes alive, on top of being a frequent flood victim (as a Thomasian) – so we have to buy (or have them repaired) every now and then.

Dormitory fees range from 12k to 15k for a room good for 4pax. Some would charge more to include meals, while kids who are “uwian” can take their lunch or dinner at home.  Since Cae lived in a dormitory for 3 years, we had to spend extra for utilities, postpaid plan, and occasional laundry.  I also included the purchase of mobile phones (all in all, she had four – 1 MyPhone, 2 Blackberry and a new one, Samsung Win). 

I excluded the medical/dental/optical expenses since these are charged anyway to another budget source and not to the education fund. But you may want to take note of them, too, for documentation purposes. I indicated these expenses (in red) in one column since in Cae’s case we had to purchase her Yamamoto brace (for her dextroscoliosis), her orthodontic retainers on her 2^nd and 4^th year, and her eyeglasses, plus the trips to the doctor/dentist/laboratories.  I also excluded food/groceries and toiletries purchased for Cae as these are also charged to another budget source.  When Cae was younger, she was a picky eater but when she experienced “dorm living”, she began to appreciate vegetables and simple viands (lutong-bahay). Her expenses for meals are placed under Allowance/Food/Leisure.

The figures are rounded up for easy computation, but more or less, you get the drift. I suddenly thought of my parents who sent 3 college students (my two older siblings and me) all at the same time. Remember, if your child opts for a state university, tuition would be less, of course. But if he/she goes to a more expensive university, then your million may not be sufficient and you need to prepare or save more. If you have insurance or an investment plan, expenses may be minimal.  

And yes it’s true, the reward that you will receive in return (pride, happiness) after four years (five or more to some) is PRICELESS. Every time I see my daughter’s grades and graduation photo, I can’t help but flash a million-dollar smile. So much for return on investment.

~TheGoodGirl

Loyalty is Royalty

One trait that I want to instill in my children (I would like to believe that I am slowly but surely succeeding) and one that will be written on my grave as a trait that I am known for is loyalty. When I die, I want people to remember me as someone whose support has always been complete and constant.

People who know me know that I am loyal – to people, to brands, and to entities who have helped me, shaped me, or in one way or another, touched my life. And people who know me know that they can always count on me and I will defend them up to my last breath – with nothing expected in return.

When I like a brand, I will stick to it and will not switch, unless there’s a major reason for trying or choosing another. My son knows our favorite brands by heart – with our without a list. I think he could even anticipate what I would like or prefer. It doesn't matter if it’s expensive or cheap. There was one time (I think it was during the UST-NU game) when I had to ask him to do the grocery-shopping, and on the list was “1 bottle of bagoong.” Afterwards, he sent an SMS, apologizing because they happened to buy 2 bottles. He said Nanay did not realize he already picked one, and she picked another. Later on, I asked him, “What did you choose?” “The cheaper one,” he said.

As for institutions or business entities, once I get used to it or become familiar with the service and the experience, I will go back and go back   - renewing subscriptions, not changing channels, ordering the same food, requesting for the same server, or buying the same things. Old habits die hard, they say. With my Longchamp bags and my Havaianas collection as proof, need I say more. Add to this - books from the same authors. Kung mabibili ko lang lahat - well, slight :)

My daughter is a loyal friend. I see her helping her friends and being with them through ups and downs, in good times and bad times. She stands up for her friends and I would like to believe that they’d do the same for her.

Caehl is also careful in mentioning Globe's competitor when her Tita is around. When somebody tells him he's smart, he says, "No, I'm Globe."

An officemate of my husband tagged him in a Facebook post/link, wherein he and his other friends made fun of GMA and its reporters. I politely asked him to untag Alex. I wrote, “Perhaps you are not aware that (we) are GMA 7 supporters, and it’s not nice to see this and the comments on his wall. I hope you understand.” Yes, that’s how far I can go.

I am proud to be a die-hard fan, but not a fantard. There is a difference between the two. A fantard, according to www.urbandictionary.com, is a combination word of "fan" and "retard". It is usually used to describe (an) over-enthused or hardcore retard fan. Although I can be a person who will take the bullet for someone I love, I know when to accept shortcomings and faults, compromise, let go, and give up useless battles. There are people who are simply troublesome and who just want to create conflicts. Arguing or debating with these people who don’t matter or who don’t make any sense at all will lead to nowhere. So I might as well give it up.

Of course, I love my schools. I am loyal to UST because this is where I found my place under the sun. I love my course and I will forever cherish my college experience. I love UST because my husband and I are Thomasians. We bleed black/white black/gold. And it’s a bonus that my daughter is also a Thomasian. And we can all bleed to death :)

I am loyal to my employer. I love Insular Life. For 17 years, it has helped me become what I am now. And I owe a lot to this Company which has been a blessing to me and to my family for many years.

Nowadays, they say it’s difficult to find a loyal person. “Pera-pera lang yan.” It might sound sad or bad, but it’s true. Loyalty can be bought, or worse, there’s no such thing as loyalty anymore. Loyalty has almost gone extinct.

For me, loyalty is not cheap, it’s expensive. And rare. American industrialist Philip Armour said, “There is one element that is worth its weight in gold and that is loyalty. It will cover a multitude of weaknesses.”

And loyalty is still a good thing – like hope. And no good thing ever dies.

~TheGoodGirl

College Collage

My daughter Caitlin Anais is graduating from college in March 2014. Like me and her dad, she is a Thomasian.

In my previous blogs (please click on the links below), I shared that we didn’t have a hand in choosing the course or university for Cae. It was a bonus that she fell in love with UST on her first visit and it was where she was accepted for the course that she wanted – Travel Management. Even if I was secretly wishing and hoping and praying she would take up AB, I didn’t object to her course choice. On top of the entrance exam, she had to hurdle a panel interview and a sort of go-see or casting as the students have to have a certain look or built. It was her who made the decision.

Which was for the best, as it turned out. My daughter has been getting good grades, and she was on the Dean’s List for a while - something I was not able to do when I was in college. What she accomplished during her first 2 years in UST-CTHM surpassed what I did during my four-year stay in UST. Above all, she is having the time of her life.  I find her block mates kind, polite, and hard-working. The boys are dependable and very trustworthy. And they know how to have fun. Proof of this is when they staged their own event “Silhouette: A Glint in the Dark (The Search for the Next Miss Tourism Ambassadress 2012)” when they were in 3^rd Year. I was impressed.

Writer C. JoyBell C. said, “I think that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms, allow them to take the subway...let them be better people, let them believe more in themselves.”

I want to believe that this is what we are/were doing with Cae. Travel Management is unlike Nursing, Pre-Med, Accounting or other courses which parents would approve of. Or would choose for their own children.

“Ano yan, Tourism? Walang pera sa Tourism.” But that’s what she likes. Hindi naman kami or sila ang mag-aaral at papasok but Cae. So we gave her that opportunity.

"Magastos ang Tourism." Oh yes. You bet. But it is our duty as parents to support her financially. So let it be our problem. So far, she has been to Cebu, Bohol, and South Korea.

I was in Grade 4 or 5 when I decided I would take up Journalism. Looking back now, I couldn’t have made a better choice for myself. Even though I didn’t end up in TV or print, I am happy with my job and how the Journ discipline has helped me through the years. When I took up a mini-MBA at the Arrneow (Ateneo Graduate School of Business - CCE), I realized that:

·         I wasn’t cut out for a business course, and an MBA is definitely not for me.

·         I can do analysis but please do the computation for me. I was kamote in Accounting or numbers.

·         I f I took up a course other than AB or Journalism for that matter, I wouldn’t have survived, I might have gotten some failing grades.

So in one way or another, I was telling Alex that parents really should not be meddling and choosing courses for their children. And that it was a blessing that we allowed Cae to take up the course she liked.

What you like to do or what/where you are good at can spell the difference. It cannot be “just because.” Just because you think a business course is better or just because a popular / quota course will assure you of a job does not equate to excelling or being good in class. You have to have “it.” You have to be good in it. Pag hindi mo talaga forte, mahirap. Pag hindi mo gusto, mahirap pilitin ang sarili. (Eto naman po is just my humble opinion as a parent. Libre naman magkaroon ng sariling opinion. If you don’t agree, spin a win.)

It seems like only yesterday when Cae was a freshie, and now she’s on her fourth year - Thesis this sem, and OJT next sem.  By God’s grace, all will be well.

#GoUSTe (maisingit lang)

~TheGoodGirl

For more details on Travel Management, please visit http://www.ust.edu.ph/index.php/undergraduate-programs/34-bachelor-of-science-in-tourism.html

Read my previous blogs:

• Senior Moment http://pamski71.bravejournal.com/entry/31819
• My Girl's Gonna' Growl Soon! http://thegoodgirl.braveblog.com/entry/95213
• Blue Genes (and black and gold, too) http://thegoodgirl.braveblog.com/entry/114245

My Daughter the “Dormer”

A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart.  ~Author Unknown

(Of course, there’s no such word. By “dormer,” I'm referring to a dorm resident, or a person staying / living in a dormitory.)

I remember when our eldest sibling, Ate, entered college (FEU) and my parents decided she would stay in my aunt’s apartment in Galas, QC. She has always been my roommate and although we were 4 years apart, we were close to each other. We didn’t have a landline then, and for the first few nights and weeks, I would call her up using a payphone in the nearest sari-sari store, and end up crying and missing her so.

And then it was my turn. Part of my parents’ plan (that’s why they chose UST over UPLB) was for me to stay with my sister. So that they won’t have to travel all the way from Los Baños to QC each time they would make us hatid.  It was more convenient and they felt more comfortable with the set-up, knowing we were together.

I didn’t realize that at that time, I was giving them a heartache or that I was breaking their heart. To me, it was the most practical thing to do. I knew myself, I could take care of myself, I was capable of doing household chores, and I knew how to commute. But for parents, those could never be enough, I learned. I am learning that now.

My daughter is now living in a dorm. It’s a new dormitory, a street away from UST. It’s a four-person room, but currently she is sharing it with Shae, her schoolmate since Grade One and a fellow CTHM sophomore. We wouldn’t have allowed her if it she weren’t with Shae (and Shae’s parents maintain the same stance). Shae’s mom and I have been acquaintances since the girls' grade school days, when we would both stay in the parents’ waiting area in Colegio San Agustin – Biñan. Yes, that’s how far we go back.

Cae is independent, and she is used to sleep-overs. My aunts would take turns borrowing her from us when she was two or three. She is a smart kid, but I must say, we are very protective of her. All through her grade school and high school life, she was hatid-sundo by a trusted tricycle service. She wasn’t allowed to commute and if she did take public transpo, we were uber panicky and worried.  When she studied at UST, that was the only time she commuted big-time. And we were proud of her learning how to ride the MRT or LRT and even the PNR on her own. When she started feeling the pains and challenges of commuting from our place to UST and vice versa, she complained and suggested dorm-living. But I guess we weren’t ready then. We asked her to try it out for the rest of her freshman year and then who knows, things might change. And they did.

With the 2-hour travel time, plus traffic, plus rains and floods, she was such a pity coming home wet with muddy shoes, kinakaladkad ang sarili while walking, plastado na sa gabi, and with a body brace at that. She asked that we revisit the idea of dorm-living and this time, we were cooperative. She prepared a PowerPoint presentation, with a matrix of pros and cons, even if that was just a formality.  At the back of our minds, we knew we were giving in.

It is a big change. For seventeen years, she was just in the next room. But I guess, we have to go with the flow. Alex is stricter though, laying down the rules - No this, no that. Do this, do that. There were so many reminders. And it’s more expensive. Yet we are somehow comforted that she can enjoy a few more winks (she usually wakes up at 4am). She can even take a shower after her Monday AM PE class and put on her brace comfortably. Her last class ends at 7pm and she can still be “home” early. When it rains, she doesn’t have to take on the downpour, fight it out with other commuters, and take the risk of getting sick and yes, ruining her shoes.

I hope she’ll be fine. I know she’ll be ok. Because I am missing her already.

 

 

My "students"

Caehl's first day in prep class...Cae's 2nd week...

A Valentine Story

February 14, 1992, morning - I went out of our Journalism classroom for a drink at the nearby water fountain. I saw a guy standing outside the room beside ours. Late for his class, I presumed. But hey, I know this guy.

“It’s Valentine’s Day today,” I called out to him.

He just said (curtly even), “So what?”

Suplado naman, I thought.

A month or so later, I dreamed of the guy one night. The following morning, he was the first guy I saw in Tinoko Park on my way to class.


I tapped him on his shoulder. “Hey, napaginipan kita kagabi (I dreamed of you last night).” Without looking back and waiting for his reply, I continued walking.

Little did I know that that guy who didn’t care about Valentine’s would be my Valentine for the rest of my life. For many years, Alex and I would greet each other “Happy So-What Day”, acknowledging that one particular moment in our lives.

In fairness, we’ve had a lot of memorable and unforgettable Valentine dates. As a girlfriend (or wife), I guess I am not the sweetest person around. Despite my seemingly sociable personality, I am not really a showy, demonstrative gal (except when it comes to my kids). Alex knows it and has accepted it. If he took it against me and takes it against me even now, I cannot help it. It’s just the way I am. I express or display my love in a different way, in my own unique way. And I guess again that people who are dear to me have long understood and accepted me the way I am.

Alex would often tell me that he never stopped thinking about me after those encounters. Just before my graduation, we ended up together. And we are still together. And there is no way I will ever give him up. Not yesterday, not today, not tomorrow.

Malay ko ba, I would tell him, I never planned those encounters anyway.

Maybe the One Up there did. But don’t tell Alex that maybe, just maybe, I prayed a little bit that He would.

Happy Valentine’s everyone! Live, love, and learn.

Acknowledgment: Photo courtesy of http://wikimapia.org/3002449/Tinoko-Park

 

Ako'y isang Tomasino

Jan. 27, 2011
University of Santo Tomas

To Love Again

AKO'Y ISANG TOMASINO
by Gerardo M. de Leon
Vocal: Sam Velarde
Piano: Darryl Paloay

Verse 1
Nalagpasan mo ang mga pagsubok
Di mabilang na mga bagyo
Kahit ilang baha man ang danasin
Kasaysayan mo'y hindi kayang anurin

Verse 2
Ang 'yong sahig, dingding, mga pintuan
Saksi sa yong dakilang nakaraan
Tinamnan ng tama puso't isipan
Mga bayaning sa silong mo ay nanahan

Chorus
Nag-iisa ka lang
Pinagpalang Pamantasan
Apat na siglo nang nagtuturo
sa kabataan
Pagmamahal sa Diyos,
Karunungang may dangal
Ako'y nagagalak matawag na
Isang Tomasino!

Verse 3
Ang ngalan mo'y hindi nadudungisan
Ilan mang siglo pa ang magdaan
Dahil ika'y Kanyang iniingatan
Tunay kang binasbasang paaralan

Chorus
Nag-iisa ka lang
Pinagpalang Pamantasan
Apat na siglo nang nagtuturo
sa kabataan
Pagmamahal sa Diyos,
Karunungang may dangal
Ako'y nagagalak matawag na
Isang Tomasino!

Coda
Nagsisilbi sa kapwa
Naglilingkod sa bayan
Nagmamahal sa Diyos
May karunungan, may dangal
Ako'y nagagalak
Ako'y isang Tomasino!


Just this afternoon, I attended the orientation for Freshmen Travel Management students and parents of UST-CTHM. I actually went out of my way to be there. I was telling Alex, “May makakapunta kaya dito?” as it was held on a weekday and at one o’ clock in the afternoon.

Surprisingly the auditorium was jam-packed. I couldn’t help but burst with pride when Rev. Fr. Romulo Rodriguez O.P., JCD, the Regent, asked if anyone of us graduated from UST. I think there were only 3 or 4 of us who stood up. Even though it was a different college, it still felt like a homecoming to me. Most of the administrators and faculty members were Thomasians like me.

Never mind if it was a two-hour trip from San Pedro. I was glad to be there. When they played the UST Quadricentennial Song and the UST Hymn one after the other, I was almost teary-eyed. As I introduced myself to the College Secretary, Atty. Gezzez Giezi G. Granado (a UST BS Tourism graduate who claims he initially wanted to be a flight attendant but took up Law instead) and to Mr. Fredeswindo Medina, the Chairperson of the Travel Management Program, I told them, “Nabubuhay po ang Thomasian spirit ko.”

No eklavu, no chorva. It is true. On our way home, I was happily narrating to Alex the almost-four hour experience inside the Albertus Magnus Bldg. (that’s Educ building to the “older” Thomasians) auditorium. Now I understand why some parents prefer to enroll their children to their alma mater. It’s really like coming home, walang mapagsidlan ng tuwa, pagmamalaki, at pagmamahal. Lalo na siguro kung nag-AB si Cae.

Napakasarap maging Tomasino. I love you USTe.

Cae's 1st Day

My little Thomasian in her Travel Management uniform (UST-CTHM)

Cae will be ok

Just this morning, Cae was off to an overnight camping with her BFFs. And as early as now, I am missing her already.

I watched Alex watching her walking away and I saw myself probably doing the same way when she embarks on college life this June.

From her kindergarten class up to Grade 4 (I think), my former bosses have been so gracious to allow me to take my vacation leave during her first week in school so I can accompany her. I would usually just stay in the waiting lounge, reading magazines or watching corny cartoons together with nannies, grandmas and fellow moms.

Two or three of these fellow moms have remained acquaintances of mine. We would bump into each other during school activities. I saw one of them just before Cae's graduation and we congratulated each other. It seems like only yesterday when we were both waiting for our daughters in the lounge. Another even called me up asking advice on universities. She was giving options to her daughter but the latter didn't want to go anywhere else but UST. I told her, "Siyempre biased ako sa  UST, but it's still up to you."

Time came when Cae told me she'd be ok without me. Actually she was really ok by herself with or without me. My siblings would always describe Cae as quite an independent gal. At age 2, my aunts would "borrow" her from us to stay in QC, and she was fine. I would always worry about her but yes, she was always ok.

Now that I'm worrying again about her as she would start commuting all by herself from our place to Manila, perhaps I'd keep that in mind. Yes, she will be ok.

But I'll still be here, watching her. All she has to do is look over her shoulder and I'll be here.

Election Fever

My blog clock stopped during the last week of April. There were so many things to do, so little time, but so much to thank for.

April 23 – I was informed by no less than our Chairman of the Board and CEO of the recognition I got in the workplace.

April 24 - Another blessing came from the Company, an economic assistance we all appreciated to the max. Thank you, Insular Life!

April 25 – Our village fiesta. I threw a small thanksgiving lunch at home.

April 26 – We got the education plan check from Philplans (formerly Philam Plans). Let me explain that we bought this plan even before I joined Insular Life. Walang sumbatan :p

April 28 – We accompanied Cae to UST for her enrollment. Two of her friends, Aldous and Inna, were also with us.

Such a hot hot day. I was pleasantly surprised that the uniforms can now be bought off the rack. No need to go to the dress shop.

Gumaan ang wallet ko afterwards. I texted my barkada, “Can’t remember how much we paid during our first year-first sem. Cae just paid Php44k. Buti na lang may education plan.”

They all replied that our tuition then was somewhere in the 1k-3k range. Whew, that was 22 years ago.

After having lunch at Savory (Cash & Carry branch), we went to SM MOA (ang kulit ni Cae) and watched a movie (a crazy zombie flick called Crazies).  It was also on our way there when we heard over the radio that May 3 was a holiday. Woohoo! We all went home tired but it was nice to do something different on a weekday.

The same week, I caught the flu and had to stay home until Saturday. It was the first after so many years that I had fever. Colds, cough, yun lang mostly. But this time, I was bedridden.

Cae and Caehl were next.

That was how we welcomed the month of May, maysakit kaming lahat.

Mothers’ Day – we just stayed home. I made some old-fashioned homemade burgers and Chef’s salad.

Then came Election Day. My helpers went to the polling precinct ahead. An hour later, they were back and it was our turn. Ang haba ng pila sa precinct namin but surprisingly, mabilis naman. Si Alex ang matagal. All in all, ok naman ang experience namin. I just can’t help but shake my head upon hearing some people being amazed that the machines in our place were not failing at all. Bakit, ano bang gusto nila, pumalya? The ballot of the woman ahead of me though was rejected. She tried four times and on the last time, ayaw nang tanggapin. The chairman said it was because of the marker, tumagos-tagos na sa ballot. Oh well, sayang naman. Natakot tuloy ako when it was my turn. I told the man behind me, “Baka dapat, may interval ah.” But it was ok, thank God.

My presidential candidate, Dick Gordon, didn’t make it. But I have no regrets. We tried to be Transformers but the rest of the country wasn’t ready yet. It’s over now. Bahala na kayo. As they say, “We get the government we deserve.”

My Girl’s Gonna’ Growl Soon

Just this afternoon, I got a text from my good friend Len that Cae passed her interview and made it to the UST College of Tourism and Hospitality Management (UST-CTHM).

After a quick prayer, I texted Alex and Cae and my sisters the good news (thanks so much, Lenski!).

Yes, Cae will be a Thomasian - just like us.

Contrary to what others might think (or accuse us), Alex and I did not impose our alma mater on Cae. When she was not manifesting any inclination to AB, our beloved course, we did not insist on UST. Cae was the one who chose her course and university, although it was I who suggested that she also try her luck at UP, wala lang. Initially, she was setting her sight on DLSU-Taft (my youngest sister’s alma mater), but changed her mind when she set foot on USTe. I don’t remember who said it, if it was Alex or her, but indeed, mas bagay ang USTe sa kanya, at sa personality niya.

Maybe it was fate. Maybe it was written in the stars. Maybe home is really where the heart is.

Mom onstage

Last Sunday (October 25) is hopefully the last Sunday we will accompany Cae to take her college entrance exam.

First was UPCAT last August, next was DLSU entrance exams last October 11 (this time with my sister Lea as official chaperone), and finally, USTET. Imagine waiting for a four-hour exam to finish, and you’re not even the examinee. Mas gusto ko pa yata mag-exam kesa maghintay. Alex and I just scheduled some errands on the same dates para sulit yung gasolina and that we have something to do in between. We even went to places we do not normally go to – like SM Harrison, SM San Lazaro, and 168 Mall.

We told Cae, “Last na ito, ha?”

Friends sometimes tease me for being a stage mom. Stage mom ba talaga tawag dun? Di ba normal lang yun? I remember my parents bringing me to UPLB for my own UPCAT, and Mama was with me when I took the USTET.

My kumpareng Marc texted me last Sunday. “Parang mas kabado yata ang nanay.”  Yeah, I texted him back, “Kasi itong si Cae, laging pa-easy-easy.”

Kumareng Eyna said her inaanak will ace it for sure, “Mana yata sa ninang.” I texted her back, “Mare, parang mas kinabahan ako dun sa sinabi mo.” The rest of my Punks barkada (Ninong Volt, Ninang Pie, and Tito TJ) texted me back and wished the best for Cae. Same with my UST Journ senior, ex-officemate and good friend Len. Thanks, Lola Len, from squirt. And hey, most of Cae's godparents are from USTe (asan na nga ba ang mga kumare at kumpare ko, ha???) nga pala.

But the wait isn’t over yet – the exam results will be out by January 2010.

Until then, Mom is just at the backstage. NOT!!!

Arrrghhhhhhh.

Thomasian ako (COUNTDOWN TO 2011: 400 YEARS OF UNENDING GRACE)

Submitting my daughter’s USTET application some few weeks ago, I posted a shout-out on how impressed I was that it took us only 20 minutes or so (including queuing time) to finish the task.

Good thing UST has an online registration, giving the applicants a Reference Number in advance, so much so that when you physically submit the documents, you won’t have to wait or spend hours to get that test permit.

Yesterday, we were there again, this time to accompany Inna, Cae’s best friend, who was also submitting her application. Along with two other guy friends, we endured the 2-hour-or-so bloody traffic and I was praying hard that we’d make it to the Admissions Office before 5pm. Every time the light turns green, I would literally row in my seat, sa dami ng sasakyan, lagi kaming naabutan ng red light. Darn. I just joked around most of the times para hindi ma-stress ang driver namin (who else but Alex), cheering “Go USTe, go go USTe.”

We made it fifteen minutes before closing time. Ang bilis pa din mag-process. There were, I think, around 4-5 kids, aside from us.

Aldous was asking me, “Ano po ba course ninyo?”
I said, “AB.”
“Ano pong major ninyo”
“Journalism.”
“Wow!”

Since Inna’s course options include AB, I pointed to St. Raymund’s Building, “Ayan ang building namin noon, “ and to some AB girls, “Yan ang uniform namin.”


We also showed them the UST Quadricentennial Square and Alumni Park. “Wala pa yan nun,” recalling that the UST coop used to occupy a portion of the area. I also pointed toward Tinoko Park where my barkada and I would make tambay, and where Alex and I used to stay before going home.

We also showed Cae the UST-Multi-deck Carpark and Food Center, near the building which houses the College of Tourism and Hospitality Management.

Next stop was Plaza Mayor (the grounds fronting the ever-so-imposing Main Building) which is a sort of a tourist attraction. A lot of kids were waiting for their turn to take photos beside the U-S-T.  Which we also did, of course.


We sat in the benches for a while, laughing and exchanging stories with the kids.

Cae asked, “Da, saan ba yung sinasabi mong park na niligawan mo si Mommy?”
I told her we already passed by it.
Aldous joined, “Yung itinuro ko sa iyo?”
Yung parang may Stonehenge?” Cae asked.

I also told them the closest malls then were SM North EDSA and SM Centerpoint (Sta. Mesa).

Afterwards when we all felt hungry, we decided to check out Asturias Street. Before exiting the gates, we took some more pictures. Rina’s Gift Shop was still there. Long before there were Jollibee, McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Starbucks, there were Janet’s (I love their sizzling meals, baked mac and beef-and-mushroom), and Mike’s (Southern Fried Chicken meal), and Tapsi (the ‘silogs and lechon paksiw). But only the latter remained. We just took a quick peek inside and yes, it still does serve beer and the place still reeks of cigarette smoke.

We finally chose The Pit (what a pun), and marveled at the student budget-friendly meals.

As we walked back to the car, we passed by several fish ball vendors and I espied one of them counting his earnings for the day, and there were several hundred bills!

I told Alex and Cae, “Ang daming pera ng mama. Mas madami pa yata sa akin. Magtinda na lang kaya ako ng fish balls dito.”

We passed by P. Noval where Alex used to wait for his ride (going to Cubao). Lopez Canteen is still alive.  And there were still some familiar establishments along España.

Ang sarap pag nasa sariling bahay ka.

I love you, USTe.

Sweet Sixteen

Sixteen years ago, Alex and I sat on one of the benches at the UST Tinoko Park. The sun was beginning to set and suddenly, we asked each other, "Anong anniversary natin?" Initially, we thought of April 1, but decided on April 3. So that sealed our relationship.

Sixteen years is such a long time. We had chicken pox, tooth extractions, car accidents, pregnancy scares, miscarriages, heated arguments, among others. I'm sure Alex will agree that there were times we were ready to give up and "isauli na ang isa't isa sa kani-kaniyang magulang."

 

There were years when I looked so panget and unattractive, but I didn't know it at that time. I was busy being a mother and a career woman that I did not pay attention to my physical appearance. These are the same years that, if only for that "mistake" on my part (if you could call it that), I would either forget and throw away to the nearest memory bin, deadma na lang; OR store somewhere in my mind to keep me from being kampante. Those were the years I have lost and can never regain. Ewan ko. Pero minsan, pinipilosopo ko na lang and tell myself, you cannot lose what you did not have (or own) in the first place. May sense ba?

 

Like any other couple, we have our ups and downs. We have our happy and sad moments. Minsan ok, minsan hindi. Minsan naiisip mo, ganito din kaya yung ibang mag-asawa? Pero minsan, pag may accomplishment naman kami or may bagyong dumaan na kinaya namin, I would pat my own shoulder and say, "Kaya ba nila yan?" I never realized how tough I could be (lesser mortals would not have made it through) and at the same time be soft and forgiving. For this, I can only thank Him.

 

At the end of the day, I think what matters is that we are still together, we have become better persons, we have learned a lot from our experiences and mistakes, and we have a lot to be thankful for. Kahit parang sirang plaka na ko. On the other hand, sixteen years may be great, but lessons still come and challenges still grow. Nag-aaway pa din kami pero madami na kaming natutunan - that we were really meant for each other and that kahit baligtarin pa ang mundo, kami pa din. We can argue and have different points of view and interests, but that doesn't mean we love each other less. In the same way that we can be on the opposite sides of an issue but wouldn't debate about it, but that doesn't mean we couldn't care less. Even though we don't always hold each other's hands in public, it doesn't mean we don't, in private. Even if we are in our own respective world sometimes, it doesn't mean we don't think the world  of each other.

I also pray that the Lord continue to bless our lives together. Hindi man kami yumaman, matupad lang yung pangarap namin for Caitlin and Caehl, maintain the roof above our heads, maging writers pa din and still be together and grow old together like we promised to ourselves sixteen years ago.

 

Happy Anniversary, Dadi!

 

P.S. Happy Birthday, Tito Arnel!