The Perfect Ending

I'm just a writer, Emma. 

I don't know what to do to show you how much I love you. 

I only have words. That's all I have.

~Alex Sheldon, Alex & Emma, 2003

For the longest time, I have been working on a story.

I haven’t been writing fiction for quite sometime now. But I had it. The five key elements were there - character, setting, conflict, plot and theme. And most importantly, the inspiration behind it, the heart and soul of writing that story was never lost.

But admittedly, I encountered difficulty inasmuch as I didn’t want it to end. Not that I didn’t know how to end it. Thing is, I already had a perfect ending in mind. But for some reason, I didn’t want it to have an ending. It was ongoing, and I wanted to keep it going. There were times that I thought tapos na ito. Tama na ito. Ayoko na. Yet every day, may nangyayari. I would add something. Or I would change my mind. I would have a change of heart. Baka pwede pa. How I wanted it to go on forever. Never mind that it was supposed to be a “short story.” I just didn’t want it to end.

Sooner or later, I knew that I had to write -30-. The struggle was on. Sometimes I could be stubborn. Sometimes I could be so persistent. All the signs were there, yet I kept on ignoring them. Hoping that one day, that perfect ending, that beautiful and happy ending would materialize. Baka naman pwede pa, I kept on wishing. Konti na lang, konting push pa. Baka makuha sa kulit. Even in my daily prayers, I would ask the Lord to give me more time. Dear God, You do know that I never give up. I won’t give up on this. Maybe in this story of mine, You would allow me to go on. Never mind the heartaches, never mind the strain. I just wanted this story to go on forever.

Yet one morning, I woke up to find that the end is near. The story has to be concluded. I have to wrap it up. Otherwise, it would just go nowhere. It is in fact going nowhere. Its beauty will soon get lost. Hindi na baleng matapos na in all its splendor, kesa naman pilitin ko pa, papangit lang.

And so, I am writing -30-. It’s time. Finally. I have now reached the end, and I have to write the ending it properly deserves. My story is finished. While the final chapter was not what I had originally in mind, and I didn’t see it coming, it has all come together. I couldn't put a happy ending, otherwise it would come out “pilit”. Sorry if it’s not the classic ending (I or) most readers would prefer, but at long last, I let the main character overcome her major conflict and put that conflict away - in the dark recesses of her mind.

The End.

~TheGoodGirl