Sex (education) and the Country

On my way home this evening, aboard a van, I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation going on between two girls in front of me. They were talking about their girl friend who was apparently having sex with her boyfriend.

Snippets of the conversation:

“Sabi ko sa kanya, baka pagsawaan siya, pag nakuha na ang gusto.”

“Baka mamaya, magbuntis siya diyan, kung kelan graduating na tayo.”

“Oo, kanino siya tatakbo? Sa parents niya? Imbes na makatulong siya. Graduating pa naman siya.”

“Mamaya, iwan na lang siya. On and off pa naman sila.”

“Kung mahal siya ni Jed, respeto na lang. Kung ayaw niyang magpa-ano, hindi siya pipilitin.“

 
And they went on and on and on for the entire 15-minute trip. As soon as I boarded the van until I got off, they had the same topic. Poor girl friend, her ears must have been itching or ringing all the time.

On one hand, I admire how at their age (20s) they would have wanted their girl friend to respect herself and her body, preserve her virginity, keep her values intact, and make her parents proud.

But on the other, I wasn’t comfortable with their conversation. They were speaking in loud voices and I bet all of us inside the van had no choice but to hear everything. The guy beside me had to put on earphones, turning up the volume.

It’s not like I am a prude or something. But there are things one shouldn’t talk about with others listening in on you. There are things you have to discuss in a huddle, you know what I mean.
 
This reminds me of the latest research I did on a current controversial topic – the integration of sex education in the basic curriculum of public and private elementary and high schools, and the deferment of its implementation.

In an episode of Q-TV 11’s “Tonight with Arnold Clavio”, guest and outgoing DepEd secretary Mona Valisno insisted that for the longest time, (the reproductive system/cycle, parts of the body) has already been integrated in subjects/courses such as Biology.

She didn’t mention it but I remember puberty and proper hygiene being discussed in Home Economics or Practical Arts as well.

According to Bishop Oscar Cruz of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines (CBCP), parents should be the ones to teach their children, not the school. He said, though, that most parents feel awkward to do it, do not know how (to teach it), or have no time (to teach it).

Dr. Margie Holmes said, “You learn it as your age will allow. It should be taught both in home and school, both by parents and teachers.”

In his PDI column http://opinion.inquirer.net/inquireropinion/columns/view/20100623-277236/The-education-not-the-sex, Conrado de Quiros poses this question: Who would you rather the kids turn to to know about the birds and the bees?

“The point of sex education is the education, not the sex,” he wrote.

Going back to the two girls…If that was my daughter with a friend, I would have asked her to talk about it in private – not in a public vehicle – if they can help it.

I myself have no qualms talking about the same subject with my own friend, but in an appropriate venue – yes, at the right time and in the right place.

Weeks ago, when my four-year old son asked what condom is for, I could have answered him in a way that is apt for his age. In fact, Dr. Holmes suggests that when kids ask where they come from, you could say, “Mommy and Daddy love each other, and from that love, you were born,” or something to this effect.

But for me at that time, I felt that my son and I are not yet ready for that. When the right time comes, you just know. I know.