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Monday, December 28, 2009

Sailing

(With thanks to Christopher Cross)

...Takes me away
To where I've always heard it could be
Just a dream and the wind to carry me
And soon I will be free…
And when the wind is right you can sail away
And find serenity
The canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe me

Finding and returning to the Good Girl’s real self four years ago, I felt like I was just sailing along. With what or with whom, to where or how, I wasn’t sure, I just sailed on.

All I knew was I became better and stronger. There were realizations and realities that could have destroyed a weaker being, but not me. As I’ve written once, it’s sad that some of the ideals I used to believe in, stand for and hold dear do not hold true anymore, and I have accepted (and am still trying to accept) that. There are actions that I cannot undo, events that I won’t be able to foresee, and people that we certainly can do without. I can only accept things that I can no longer change, try to control what's left (and what can be controlled), and go on with life as happily as we could.

I did get hurt. I hated the world. I contemplated ending a lot of things. But to stay that way is for the birds. I am Pam, and for me, that’s simply unacceptable. I have so much to be grateful for. I have my family, my job, and all my security blankets. Cliché, but at the end of the day, what really matters most is you are loved and you are supported. And that’s how I feel up to this very minute.

My husband may not be the best but we have chosen each other and vowed to stay together forever. I love him and I hope he knows that.

My daughter and I may sometimes do not get along, but I love her and am proud of her and I hope she knows that.

My son is becoming to be my replica and whether he likes it or not, I hope he really takes after me and soaks up all my good traits.

My parents have not stopped being there for me. And my siblings are still the best in this side of the planet.

Bonus: my cousins and aunts whom I get in touch with regularly, my friends inside and outside the office and my job that I love so dearly and that loves me back dearly. I have been given a wonderful opportunity in the workplace which I was waiting for but did not expect that it would come soon.

Last but not the least; I give thanks to Him from whom all good things come.

Pain will still be around. I will still get mad. And maybe some things would just have to end - or linger. But I am Pam and I will continue to sail on.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Dom and Dean's Birthday




My nephews' joint birthday celebration!
Dom turned 5 and Dean turned 2.
Nov. 8, 2009*Jollibee Caltex-Sta. Rosa

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

All Saints Day at Star City




Kami ang star sa Star City. For a change, we had family bonding time at Star City*Nov. 1, 2009

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Halloween at PIAA




Caehl joined the PIAA kids last Oct. 29 as a vampire, held at Daddy's office.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Mom onstage

Last Sunday (October 25) is hopefully the last Sunday we will accompany Cae to take her college entrance exam.

First was UPCAT last August, next was DLSU entrance exams last October 11 (this time with my sister Lea as official chaperone), and finally, USTET. Imagine waiting for a four-hour exam to finish, and you’re not even the examinee. Mas gusto ko pa yata mag-exam kesa maghintay. Alex and I just scheduled some errands on the same dates para sulit yung gasolina and that we have something to do in between. We even went to places we do not normally go to – like SM Harrison, SM San Lazaro, and 168 Mall.

We told Cae, “Last na ito, ha?”

Friends sometimes tease me for being a stage mom. Stage mom ba talaga tawag dun? Di ba normal lang yun? I remember my parents bringing me to UPLB for my own UPCAT, and Mama was with me when I took the USTET.

My kumpareng Marc texted me last Sunday. “Parang mas kabado yata ang nanay.”  Yeah, I texted him back, “Kasi itong si Cae, laging pa-easy-easy.”

Kumareng Eyna said her inaanak will ace it for sure, “Mana yata sa ninang.” I texted her back, “Mare, parang mas kinabahan ako dun sa sinabi mo.” The rest of my Punks barkada (Ninong Volt, Ninang Pie, and Tito TJ) texted me back and wished the best for Cae. Same with my UST Journ senior, ex-officemate and good friend Len. Thanks, Lola Len, from squirt. And hey, most of Cae's godparents are from USTe (asan na nga ba ang mga kumare at kumpare ko, ha???) nga pala.

But the wait isn’t over yet – the exam results will be out by January 2010.

Until then, Mom is just at the backstage. NOT!!!

Arrrghhhhhhh.

(Not) Losing my religion

In my old Catholic high school life, we did not just study Religion (which was later renamed Moral Guidance), we breathed it.

Every Licean can and will attest (and relate) to this - morning prayer after the daily flag ceremony, 3 o’clock habit, Angelus at 6pm, Our Lady of the Perpetual novena every Wednesday, and rosary prayer for the whole month of October. We can recite (and even sing) Salve Regina (Latin version of Hail Holy Queen) at a snap. We know the Magnificat, the 7 sacraments, the deadly sins, and the fruits of the Holy Spirit by heart. We know the Beatitudes, the Canticle of Simon, and the Ten Commandments kahit tulog o nakapikit. Studying in a Catholic school for 11 years made it so easy for me to breeze through my Theology subjects in college (ehem, the Royal and Pontifical university of the Philippines lang naman).

One of my unforgettable elementary teachers is Bro. Noe Laganson. I can’t remember the exact year when he was ordained as a priest, but I remember him visiting us and saying Mass in our very own home. Father Noe was eventually assigned in Sorsogon and we kept in touch through letters (now known as snail mails). I think it was in 2003 when the Vatican awarded him with a scholarship grant and he stayed in the US (was it Kentucky?) for quite sometime. The last time I spoke to him was in 2006 when he informed me he was a visiting priest in a parish church in Makati.

Then just this October, I received a letter from him. It was sent before Typhoon Ondoy and it took a while before it got to me. He told me he would undergo eye surgery. I was concerned that he must have thought I ignored his letter so I immediately got in touch with the parish office he is currently connected with. My siblings and some generous friends sent financial assistance and I was able to visit the Sampaloc-based parish church twice, although I have yet to see Father Noe personally again after so many years. It was coincidence that I was baptized in the same church – yes, the Most Holy Trinity Parish in Balic-Balic. In fact, we lived near Balic-Balic when I was a child and I stayed in the same area during my college years in UST. Well, miracles never cease, do they?

I will go back to Trinity one of these days if only to see Father Noe again. Never mind if it’s an hour or so drive from San Pedro.

Again, thanks to my fellow Liceans who extended help to Father Noe. May God bless you a hundredfold. And thanks to Alex who is behind me in this endeavor.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Caehl's birthday in school




October 13, 2009*930am
Jolly spaghetti & Chickenjoy, Zesto
Lootbags from McDo (courtesy of Kuya Raymon)
Location: Concepcion Kids Learning Center

Friday, October 16, 2009

Happy 4th Birthday, Caehl




October 13, 2009
Capiz residence
Guests: Acuña family, Teacher Jovy, Tita Helen & Tito Mon
Menu: Amber's pancit Malabon, pichi-pichi, BBQ, pizza, Goldilocks cake from Tita
Cost: priceless

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Thomasian ako (COUNTDOWN TO 2011: 400 YEARS OF UNENDING GRACE)

Submitting my daughter’s USTET application some few weeks ago, I posted a shout-out on how impressed I was that it took us only 20 minutes or so (including queuing time) to finish the task.

Good thing UST has an online registration, giving the applicants a Reference Number in advance, so much so that when you physically submit the documents, you won’t have to wait or spend hours to get that test permit.

Yesterday, we were there again, this time to accompany Inna, Cae’s best friend, who was also submitting her application. Along with two other guy friends, we endured the 2-hour-or-so bloody traffic and I was praying hard that we’d make it to the Admissions Office before 5pm. Every time the light turns green, I would literally row in my seat, sa dami ng sasakyan, lagi kaming naabutan ng red light. Darn. I just joked around most of the times para hindi ma-stress ang driver namin (who else but Alex), cheering “Go USTe, go go USTe.”

We made it fifteen minutes before closing time. Ang bilis pa din mag-process. There were, I think, around 4-5 kids, aside from us.

Aldous was asking me, “Ano po ba course ninyo?”
I said, “AB.”
“Ano pong major ninyo”
“Journalism.”
“Wow!”

Since Inna’s course options include AB, I pointed to St. Raymund’s Building, “Ayan ang building namin noon, “ and to some AB girls, “Yan ang uniform namin.”


We also showed them the UST Quadricentennial Square and Alumni Park. “Wala pa yan nun,” recalling that the UST coop used to occupy a portion of the area. I also pointed toward Tinoko Park where my barkada and I would make tambay, and where Alex and I used to stay before going home.

We also showed Cae the UST-Multi-deck Carpark and Food Center, near the building which houses the College of Tourism and Hospitality Management.

Next stop was Plaza Mayor (the grounds fronting the ever-so-imposing Main Building) which is a sort of a tourist attraction. A lot of kids were waiting for their turn to take photos beside the U-S-T.  Which we also did, of course.


We sat in the benches for a while, laughing and exchanging stories with the kids.

Cae asked, “Da, saan ba yung sinasabi mong park na niligawan mo si Mommy?”
I told her we already passed by it.
Aldous joined, “Yung itinuro ko sa iyo?”
Yung parang may Stonehenge?” Cae asked.

I also told them the closest malls then were SM North EDSA and SM Centerpoint (Sta. Mesa).

Afterwards when we all felt hungry, we decided to check out Asturias Street. Before exiting the gates, we took some more pictures. Rina’s Gift Shop was still there. Long before there were Jollibee, McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Starbucks, there were Janet’s (I love their sizzling meals, baked mac and beef-and-mushroom), and Mike’s (Southern Fried Chicken meal), and Tapsi (the ‘silogs and lechon paksiw). But only the latter remained. We just took a quick peek inside and yes, it still does serve beer and the place still reeks of cigarette smoke.

We finally chose The Pit (what a pun), and marveled at the student budget-friendly meals.

As we walked back to the car, we passed by several fish ball vendors and I espied one of them counting his earnings for the day, and there were several hundred bills!

I told Alex and Cae, “Ang daming pera ng mama. Mas madami pa yata sa akin. Magtinda na lang kaya ako ng fish balls dito.”

We passed by P. Noval where Alex used to wait for his ride (going to Cubao). Lopez Canteen is still alive.  And there were still some familiar establishments along España.

Ang sarap pag nasa sariling bahay ka.

I love you, USTe.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Three-Eight (Part One)

Celebration actually started on the 16th. And it all began with a paper cutter.

My two officemates were talking and I was happily eavesdropping. Maricel was saying something about a paper cutter. And Abi was telling her of her dream to have a paper shredder, “Gusto ko yung de-battery para may tunog,” she said, mimicking the sound.

“Anong battery – yung nabibili o yung special?”

I butted in, “Bakit pag special ba, hindi binibili?”

“Ako naman,” I continued, “Gusto ko cheese grater. Saka yung egg-cutter.”

We all had a good laugh, saying how nice it was to have a kitchen (or tool) wish-list.

Then they went out for lunch.

When they got back, I was in the washroom. Maricel joined me and asked for some toothpaste. While waiting for her to hand me back the tube, Joyee my Mars barged inside and said I had a phone call. Reluctantly, I went out and when I reached my area, a Red Ribbon White Forest cake was all lit up, waiting for me!

It was fun being sung to, for a change. The candle was the sparkler-kind that refuses to go out even if you blow hard. We squealed each time it would light up again, as if our VP-boss was not in the next room (kakahiya kay Ma’am).

Then they said something else was inside the cake box. Because of previous tricks played on some of them, I was guessing, “Ano ito- brochures? Medical stubs?” Hindi daw. I reached inside and touched a box. Uy, keso?!! Hindi din daw.

It was a cheese grater.

I love it so much. Thank you all.

Part Two – in the next blog.

Three-Eight (Part Two)

After hearing the 6am mass, I was all set to go to LTO-Alabang for my license renewal. Alex was on leave and with all the recent LTO horror stories I’ve been hearing and reading about, I was expecting the worst but still hoping for the best. (I wore my favorite - and lucky - shirt, just in case.)

Last 2007, I had my license renewed at the Ayala-MRT office. This is my first time in Alabang. There were already many people waiting when we got there, including Sir Ronnie, one of the VPs in Insular Life.

Except for the drug test results which took quite long, I found everything ok. After two and a half hours, I was holding my new license (I looked awful in the picture grrrrr).

Off we went to Tagaytay for lunch. We didn’t know actually where to eat but I remembered an Italian restaurant called Buon Giorno (Cliffhouse Tagaytay) while browsing the Net.

Luckily we didn’t have a hard time searching for it. I was glad Alex found the place lovely and perfect for our get-away lunch. And there were only few of us. I could imagine it crowded during evenings or weekends.

We ordered Croquettes with Mozzarella for appetizers, Prosciutto A Funghi pizza, Risotto Alla Pescatora and Iced tea for me, and ripe mango shake for Alex.

Of course, we took pictures.
 
What I also like about Buon Giorno, aside from the ambiance and the view, were the bag hooks under the tables. How thoughtful of them.

The croquettes were delicious and filling, that’s why there were only 3 pieces. If you had more, you won’t be able to enjoy the main dish. As it is, I was too full for my rice dish which was good enough for two actually. The beverages come in tall glasses, too. The pizza was ok, but Alex who likes salty food said it needed more oomph. Whatever.

After we were done, we found ourselves sitting in one of the outdoor daybeds and getting sleepy. Just before we hit the road, Alex had coffee to keep himself awake.

Part Three –in the next blog. 

Three-Eight (Part Three)

My family came early for dinner. Papa brought a big roasted turkey. We had spaghetti (topped with cheese courtesy of my new grater), barbecue, and “kakanin” which my helpers made.

Kuya brought crispy pata.

And I served the White Forest Cake, too (given by my officemates).

Videoke as usual, and Caehl, taking the cue from his Ate, danced while my sisters were singing.

Cae's friends came.

Tita gave me a Sue Grafton book (thanks, Tita) which I wished for. Kuya and Ba gave me a blouse which I wore to office this morning. My good neighbors – the Isaacs - gave me a peach towel.

Everyone texted/e-mailed me, and greeted me on Facebook. Mareng Pie who is in Singapore even called up.

I love my birthday. I love my family. I love my friends.

Thank you, thank you Lord.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Remembering Patrick Swayze

Ponyboy: Darry, I'm sorry.
Darrell Curtis: [sobbing] I thought we had lost you, like we did Mom and Dad.




Thank you, Darrel Shayne Curtis. See you at the movies.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Lullaby

I turn off my TV set.
As I thank the Lord and call it a day, I hear
My sleeping son's steady breathing.
Rustling noises in the next room as my daughter prepares her school stuff.
The electric fan's humming sound.
The low volume of the TV set in the living room.
My husband's pounding on the keyboard in the library, and
The drumming of the rain on our poor roof.
Altogether, they seem to create a rhythm that soothes me.

I am home.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Nighty-night, Caehl

My two helpers run an e-load biz and I didn't realize its impact on my son until I tucked him into bed this evening. Reciting his bedtime prayer, he added a new line to my surprise, "Please bless (nag)papa-load."

Amen.

Friday, August 28, 2009

The Outsiders

WHEN I STEPPED out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home... – The Outsiders, S.E. Hinton, copyright 1967

Whenever I remember this line and the movie Outsiders itself, I automatically miss my siblings. Or if I want to think about them, I just say this either out loud or only in mind, and I am instantly comforted.

Just yesterday, my officemates (or should I say department bosses) asked me why I miss(ed) them, seeing my Facebook status. I told them it was because I was worried about my sick youngest sister. I was also telling a cousin, Ate Doris, that even if there were four of us, parang ang konti pa din especially when you get older and you don’t get together as often as you want to.

I think it was just the other week when I poured my heart out to my older brother. The fact that he took time to see me despite his hectic schedule was comforting enough.  I was ready to be judged but somehow I knew he wouldn’t be that cruel. He listened patiently and made me feel more loved and supported. “Ano pa bang problema ang hindi natin kakayanin? Kung gulo lang, madami na tayong gulong pinagdaanan, kahit na madalas hindi natin kagagawan.”

“That’s what Kuyas are for,” he said. That night, I felt that nobody can ever hurt me with my siblings around. I told Alex the following morning, “Bago pa man dumating sa akin ang kalaban ko, dadaan muna siya sa tatlong kapatid ko.”

If you’re this lucky, too, then you know what I'm talking about.

Leron Leron Sinta CKLC version




Concepcion Kids Learning Center Linggo ng Wika celebration featuring Nursery-Faith dancing Leron Leron Sinta

Caehl's 1st Linggo ng Wika School Celebration




Poem: Ang Payo ni Inay
Dance: Leron Leron Sinta
Concepcion Kids Learning Center
August 28, 2009

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Hale at SM Sta. Rosa August 9, 2009




SM Sta. Rosa was fortunate to be among the first stops of Hale as it launches their latest album Kundiman.

Kundiman [2009]
1. Bahay Kubo
2. Kalesa
3. Aso’t Pusa
4. Ulap
5. Magkaibang Mundo
6. Bulalakaw
7. Yakap
8. Harinawa

MYX VOTE BAHAY KUBO send to 2366

Friday, August 21, 2009

And I Love You So

Rating:★★★★
Category:Movies
Genre: Drama
I can't remember the last time I really sat down in a theater to watch a Star Cinema movie, kadalasan sa Cinema One ko na lang sila nakikita (read: nakikita is different from napapanuod).

Also, I grew up listening to Perry Como (one of Mama's boyfriends) and the song "And I Love You So" is definitely an old favorite.

After hearing Kris Aquino's endorsement of the movie starring Bea Alonzo, Sam Milby, and Derek Ramsay, especially "to those in a relationship. Mas lalo ninyong papahalagahan ang partner ninyo." Uy, may kurot ito. So sige na nga.

Difficulty#1. Showing pa ba sa Festival. Cinema 2 daw, o sige. What time? I was hoping na mga 4pm-ish (after work). Ngek, 535pm.

Difficulty#2. Sino nga pala kasama ko? Definitely, I ruled out Alex. Hindi ko ito mayayaya ever sa mga ganitong movies. My officemates were busy with boxing. My kumareng Malou might not be available, considering napaka-short notice.

Cae solved or semi-solved the problem by telling me she and her friends will go to Festival Mall after their exams. Manunuod din daw sila sine. She was still inside Cinema 3, watching Up, when I texted her to go out to get her AILYS ticket from me. Susunod na lang siya after Up. So sige.

Actually, first time ko mag-isa. Pero sabi ko, baka naman konti lang tao. I was surprised that the theater was full. Hindi pa tapos yung 320pm screening. When it finally ended, the people had smile on their faces. Sa isip-isip ko, hmmm, mga Kapamilya kayo no? (To the uninitiated, I am proud to be Kapuso.)

Waiting for the movie to begin, ngek, ang daming tao! And people were still coming in!

I knew some tears would fall, ako pa na mababaw ang luha. Nadala ako sa mga eksena nina Bea and Ms. Coney Reyes (talagang may 'Ms.').

"Parang gusto ko nang maniwala kay Audrey na totoong pinalitan mo na ang anak ko."
"You may have loved him longer, but it doesn't mean I loved him less."

What I didn't expect (as I texted later to my friend Elmer who texted back if it was really like Hilary Swank's PS I Love You) was to gush over Sam. Ako pa? This is the first time I saw Sam act, and boy, ang galing pala niya. Si Bea kasi, given na eh. Si Derek, napanuod ko na siya in the past - maski ako, mapapabili ng Lucky Me Lomi after watching his TVC. Sam is indeed a revelation for me. As his character Chris shows his love for Lara, I knew every girl in the theater was wishing somebody would love her that much too. Siyempre, bonus na yung ganun din ka-pogi LOL.

Directed by Laurenti Dyogi

Monday, August 10, 2009

Hale at SM Sta. Rosa August 9, 2009




SM Sta. Rosa was fortunate to be among the first stops of Hale as it launches its latest album Kundiman.

 

Kundiman [2009]
1. Bahay Kubo
2. Kalesa
3. Aso’t Pusa
4. Ulap
5. Magkaibang Mundo
6. Bulalakaw
7. Yakap
8. Harinawa

 

MYX VOTE BAHAY KUBO send to 2366

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Memoirs of a Baby

Loving my mom more and more each day, I am reposting an old blog which I wrote after giving birth to my son.

I love you, Mama. Even though I may not always show it and if I do, always in a funny way.
----------
Feb. 1, 2006

How big or how small is a child’s memory bank? How far back can an infant remember, if at all? Do they keep a sort of a historical account of their first few days in their minds?

Caehl will be 4 months old this February 13. Everyday I keep telling myself that time really flies. Just the other day, I was talking to my maid and I was reminding her of the time when Mama was still so physically fit, how she would drop by every afternoon, never mind if she had to walk four or five blocks. She would be there as soon as my eyes would start to droop, aching for some forty winks. Her hands were never empty. There would always be a pack of turon or lumpia for merienda, a pack of diapers, a new bottle for Caehl, a new bucket or basin for her apo, or just about anything.

As soon as she’s settled, she would ask me to take a nap while she attended to Caehl who’s also asleep. I would wake up with her still sitting by the crib or carrying my son or changing his diaper, humming that favorite Limbo Rock tune of hers. Then she would fix a cup of coffee afterwards. She would ask me if Alex will work overtime and if so, she would stay with us until he comes home. In the evening, she would either be picked up by their maid or any of my sisters. “Bukas na lang,” she would say before going home. For a month or so, she has devoted herself to this routine.

Then we started to plan what we would do when it’s time for me to go back to work. “Ganito na lang,” she’d say. “Leave Caehl with us in the morning and just pick him up when you’re already home in the afternoon.” That was what we agreed upon. Until she started to complain of somewhat abdominal or side pains which make it difficult for her to walk. One check-up led to another and we ended up hiring a nanny, upon her insistence. No, Mama can no longer carry Caehl the way she used to (even if she wants to). She just takes comfort in having him in his lap or with him lying beside her in their bedroom during our weekly visits.

Now that Caehl recognizes faces, interacts with people, and starts to show anxiety with strangers, I can’t help but wish, no, pray that he somehow remembers his first month in the arms of his grandmother. How he would be lulled to sleep with her “ari guding ari guding (sung to the tune of Limbo rock).” How he would be easily scooped out of his crib by his grandma at just a slight sign of boredom or a hint of a sob. I ask myself, do babies remember those times? Would Caehl remember all these? The smell of Mama’s perfume? The sound of her voice? The warmth of her arms? And say with all conviction, “Ah, this is my lola.” The same way that I hope he would remember how I spent sleepless nights in the living room with him, and we would be alone in the morning until Mama arrives.

P.S. Don't forget to remind your mom how much you love her...

The Prodigal Child

To all whose moms are still alive, we are reminded anew to spend the rest of our days showing our love to them before it's too late. Reposting an old blog from my blogsite pamski.71.bravejournal.com

----------
March 12, 2006
Yesterday, I was bothered by the news that my mom and my eldest sister are once again fighting. Living under the same roof, they have this tampuhan thingy once in a while, a normal mother-daughter phenomenon I guess.  Most daughters living with their moms could relate to this.

When my mom gets mad at other people, my Ate takes the heat most of the times. On the other hand, when Ate, who has a fighter’s blood running in her veins, finds herself in a squabble with a neighbor or whoever, it’s Mama’s turn to call a ceasefire. “Patricia!” she would always admonish her. “Para kang walang breeding!”

Their personalities clash but they could be sweet at times, too. That we just shrug our shoulders and say, “Ganyan lang yang dalawang yan. Sila kasi ang magkasama sa bahay.”

Ate Pinky, or Pia, as my children would refer to her, quit her job years ago to stay at home and be with my mom and lola. A medical technology degree holder, she was asked by my father and my brother to look after the two. My niece, Meghann, found this set-up convenient and in her favor. Along with Azalea, they are the only ones left in the house we all grew up in.

As a result, Ate doesn’t earn her own income and she is often asked to do errands, cook for the family, and take care of things especially when Mama is sick. Sometimes she doesn’t take this well, as she feels she’s being taken for granted. Sometimes she feels helpless when “payables” such as Meg’s school expenses crop up. Sometimes she feels sorry for herself because she thinks she has become so dependent on others, especially when it comes to money matters. She also feels that my folks often meddle in the way she brings up Meg, and in her own life as well. “Di na ko makahinga sa bahay na yan,” she tells us. “Parang wala na kong sariling buhay. I feel like I’m being treated as a sixteen-year old.”

Mama, on the other hand, wonders if it’s true that she treats Ate that way. “Anak ko sya, eh,” she tells me.

When they fight, the house turns into a war zone (as Azalea would call it). I remember my father telling her during one of our family gatherings, “Everything I have is yours,” just like in the story of the Prodigal Son. Remember the part wherein the eldest son got mad when the father threw a celebration at the youngest son’s homecoming?

“All these years I’ve worked hard for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to; and in all that time you never gave me even one young goat for a feast with my friends.”


Look, the father said, “you and I are very close, and everything I have is yours."

It all seemed a joke when Papa said that. But looking back, I see how true it was (is). “Everything” may not be in terms of money and finances and tangible possessions. It may also be his and Mama’s time and attention. I don’t have it now. Kuya doesn’t have it now. Their presence, their pag-aasikaso, their moral support. And yes, even the occasional reprimand. Ate has indeed everything. And there will come a time that she, and all of us, will miss all that.

Everybody says “Ang hirap magpalaki ng magulang.” We can choose our spouses, but not our parents. But I guess we will never realize how hard it is to be a parent until we become one. And  a parent is a parent is a parent…for life.

Monday, August 3, 2009

UPCAT: The Movie

Leaving home after attending the 9-10am mass, we reached University Avenue 11am or so. As expected, all roads led to UP for the 2009 UPCAT. Our plan was to have a quick lunch before proceeding to Institute of Physics where Cae was supposed to take the exam.

 

Alex led us to Chocolate Kiss where we had pasta and sandwich. Di naman kami masyadong nagmamadali hehehe Cae was worried she might not get there on time, seeing the moderate-to-heavy traffic inside UP.

 

Buti na lang, because of two previous trips to UP, Alex already was familiar with the area. So, at exactly 12:17, I escorted Cae to the building lobby where a guy told us, “Pasok na kayo.” Akala yata, pati ako mag-e-exam. “O,” I reminded Cae, “Wag kang mag-cellphone. Text-text na lang mamaya.”

 

Alex & I visited some relatives whom we have not seen for quite sometime and stayed there for two hours. We returned to UP around 4:30pm. Around 5pm, some kids were already coming out of the building so I stayed nearby. Ten minutes later, still there was no Cae. Fifteen minutes…wala pa din.

 

 

It was already dark and nobody else seemed to be waiting but us. Where was Cae?

 

I couldn’t hide my anxiety anymore. I approached the lady guard and asked, “Miss, wala pa yung anak ko. May tao pa ba sa loob?”

 

The lady guard was surprised. “Ah hindi pa po ba lumalabas? Sandali lang po, check po natin.” Then she went in.

 

As I turned to Alex, a text message came. From Cae. “Ma, fin na.”

 

Hayyyy, I texted back.

 

“Sundo neo ko?” she texted again. To which I replied, “And2 kami labas.”

 

She didn’t answer. I texted her again, “Tagal nyo.”

 

I sat down on the wooden bench and waited.

 

After a few minutes, the lady guard returned, with a guy. “Ma’am, sino po ang hinahanap ninyo?” he asked. He had a UPCAT ID.

 

“Ah, yung anak ko, tapos na daw sila. Palabas na.”

 

The guard and the guy looked at each other. Scratching his head, he said, “Ah Ma’am, wala na pong bata sa loob. Kanina pa po tapos, nakalabas na po lahat.”

 

"Ha? Sigurado kayo? Kaka-text lang niya, tapos na daw sila," I repeated.

 

They looked at each other again. “Ma’am, wala na po talaga.”

 

Asan ang anak ko? Asan ang anak ko??? Daddy, asan si Cae? Asan si Cae?

 

 

Okey ba? That was just a suspense-thriller script Alex and I were creating while waiting for what seemed like an eternity. Parang yun na yata ang pinakamahabang 30 minutes for us.

 

The last batch of kids was coming out one by one. Then I saw Cae.

 

So how was it? “Sumakit ulo ko,” she said.

 

Let’s go home.

 

So we went home – after a quick trip to McDonald’s drive-thru.


Wednesday, July 29, 2009

OMG (Oh My Girl)

Rating:★★★
Category:Movies
Genre: Comedy
Walang magawa at halos napanuod na namin lahat ng now showing, watch kami ni Cae ng OMG kanina.

Walang ginawa kundi tumawa. Mababaw lang naman ang kaligayahan naming mag-ina.

Walang inalala na related sa trabaho at laman ng wallet. Buti na lang, nilibang ako nina Dick and Carmi. Abot yata sa kabilang building ang tawa ko.

Walang bahid-panghihinayang sa 260pesos na binayad ko. Dahil ako'y isang tunay na Kapuso at ito'y aking suporta sa paborito kong si Ogie, hindi ako nanghinayang.

Walang sinabi ang ibang pelikula sa dami ng artistang nag-special appearance. Pati si Mega at Songbird, andun. Saan ka pa?

Wala lang.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

SMG MidYear Conference Fellowship Night Album 2






Insular Life Sales and Marketing Group MidYear Conference

Fellowship Night*July 9, 2009

Island Cove Kawit Pavilion

Theme: 80s

SMG MidYear Conference Fellowship Night




Insular Life Sales and Marketing Group MidYear Conference

Fellowship Night*July 9, 2009

Island Cove Kawit Pavilion

Theme: 80s


Thursday, July 16, 2009

Younger Sister Ko Uli




kodakan ng kodakan
may natututunan ba naman
sa iskwelahan???

Location: Colegio San Agustin-Biñan

Monday, July 13, 2009

My "Younger Sister"




Cae is enjoying her senior year and her CAT experience, just like me. She found it funny though when I told her I received a gold medal during our CAT graduation for always topping the exams. Pati ba naman daw yun, kinareer ko pa!

She looks a lot like me now. But a taller and prettier version, for sure.

Location: CSA-Biñan

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

WRITER’S BLOCK

By Pamela Acuña-Capiz
(Published in Celebrity World and Women's Journal in the 90s)

AFTER THREE HOURS AND A HALF, the keyboard in front of me remained untouched.  Two empty Benson & Hedges packs lay on the basement floor, alongside an empty waste bin and an almost-empty coffeepot.

There are days when my fingers would never seem to stop pounding on the keys and I could come up with two or three short stories a week.  And a poem or two perhaps.  But blast those days when my creative juices would fail to flow and all I could do is stare at the blank monitor.

Must be one of the latter days again, I thought, pouring the last of the black liquid onto my mug.  It would have meant nothing to me if writing weren’t my chief source of green bucks.  Problem is, it is.

One and a half years ago, I left my job as a copy editor for the town paper to go back to my first love – creative writing.  I had hoped to work on my first novel but for the meantime, I concentrated on short fiction and poetry writing.  My works have appeared in a number of magazines but there isn’t much money in it, a fact I already knew a long time ago.  You don’t have to remind me now – my wife always does.

“You didn’t have to leave The Herald,” she would insist.

Deciding that today is a bad day to pick my brains, I put the mug on the desktop and turned off the computer.  As if on cue, my wife appeared.

“How’s the Great American Short Story coming along?” she inquired with a smile.

When I shrugged, she looked surprised.

“Nothing yet?  Maybe it’s because you’ve been cooped up in this tiny hole of yours for so long.  How about looking around for a change?  Wouldn’t hurt, you know.  There may be something good out there,” she suggested, bending to pick up the empty pot and mug.  
Before closing the door, she looked back and said, “There’s so much to write about, Ted.  You, of all people, should know that.”

I rose and stood beside the open window to look across the backyard.  As I did so, a soft breeze tousled my hair.

My two sons – Jan, five and Jules, 7 – were kneeling beside their bikes.  Both were clad in sweat-stained t-shirts.  Jan was saying something to his brother with a worried look on his face.  Jules was nodding and shaking his head, perhaps reassuring Jan that yes, he can fix it and no, Dad won’t get mad.

An hour or so later, their mom would be hollering at them to start working on their homework.

Jill is a good-sized woman with dark features, straight brown hair, and a ready laugh.  We met while we were at Connecticut College; she, studying elementary education and I, literature.  We got married after graduation and rented a two-room house in Guilford.

She taught at a nearby elementary school while I wrote for the Village Green Gazette.  When Jill’s mother died, we moved here at Haddam Neck where the old woman left her a property.

We all adored the house.  Actually, it used to be an inn built in 1813 right on the east bank of the Connecticut River.  It sure was – and still is – a lovely place to live in.  It has three floors and a basement where I put up my office plus two upstairs porches.  And each of the kids has his and her own room.  The property also included 645 feet of river frontage and a cleared beach area.

The boys loved the wildlife around.  An occasional deer or two would run about playfully.  My youngest daughter Anais had chosen a perfect spot on the porch that looks over the river where she could sit during springtime and wait for the shad.  I think what I like most was the sound of the ice breaking up in the spring like an express train.

I remember Neil, one of my photographer-friends.  He would always stall his trip and stay at Haddam Neck.  He wanted to “buy” Anais’ “perfect spot” but the little girl politely refused, of course.

Neil’s favorite view of the house was the one from Rock Landing Road which ends at the old river steamboat landing.  He even took several shots of that view in different seasons which all appeared in a New England magazine.  He said he would come back every year.  He did last year – with a wife in tow.

I climbed the stairs out of the basement and stood on the front porch.  The maple and elm trees on the yard have become bare skeletons in pools of fallen leaves.  My children refer to the maple as their “special tree”.  They claim it is always the very last in “our state” to lose its leaves.

“It even glows in the morning fog, Dad,” they would chorus.

Jill said a furniture-maker from North Carolina dropped in one time and offered her mother a huge sum for the four large black walnut trees on the property but she refused to sell them.

“They’re for my grandchildren,” the old woman declared.

I found Anais sitting under one of the trees, holding a big dry maple leaf.  A brilliant shaft of light filtering through the tree made the leaf luminous.  I silently watched and smiled as my daughter opened her mouth in awe.

When she saw me looking at her, she grinned broadly and waved the leaf at me.  Then as she heard her mother call, she brushed her bottom seat and scurried toward the house.

A steamer that runs from New York to Hartford passed by and as the mate recognized me, he saluted.  Jill once told me he was a lonely man.  His wife ran off with another man while he was aboard the ship going to New York one day.  And he never got off the steamer ever since.  I teased Jill afterwards for being a gossip.

I returned the salute and waited until the steamer became just a black speck.

A soft rose and mauve color was blooming in the west, as the October sun was about to disappear below the horizon.

Inside the house, I could hear the kids moving hurriedly and laughing at the same time as their one-fourth French mom was shouting that dinner was ready.  I turned to go inside.

I wished I had left the computer running.  Jill was right.  There really was so much to write about. #

SMUDGE

By Pamela Acuña-Capiz
(published in Celebrity World magazine in the 90s)

MUNCHING on a bagel at the kitchen table, Karen Stratton could hear her husband whistling a merry tune.

“Is that new?” she asked as he bent to buss her cheek.

Andy looked surprised.  “What, this old button-down?  You bought this yourself a month ago.”

“I meant your cologne, silly.  I’ve never smelled it on you before,” she pointed out, noting, too, his immaculately combed brown hair and perfectly knotted Claybrooke tie.  Typical  of Andy.

“Oh.  Yeah.  Can you believe it, it’s on sale yesterday.  Got it for only 19 bucks.  Last time I looked, it’s at $44,” he went on.

Last time he looked?  Andy, who hated shopping?

Karen still failed to recognize the scent.  And to think she was always the one who lingered at the store’s perfume section.

Giving up, she finally asked, “What’s it called?” as he was about to open the back door.

He stopped.  “You didn’t know?” he asked back, frowning, as if she should.  “It’s Tsar.”  Then, singing aloud, to her amazement, “To all the girls I loved before. . ,” he waltzed away with a flying kiss.

Andy, singing a la Julio?  Didn’t he once say he hated the man?

Shaking her head, she poured herself a second cup of coffee and walked toward their enclosed porch, her special room.

This is the time of the day she loved most.  When she could collapse on the plump sofa, relax, and savor the privacy and coziness of the room and the feel of the sun on her face.  She could even write a poem or two during her solitude.

When she and Andy, a junior partner at a law firm, got married six years ago, she decided to quit from her job as a copywriter at an advertising agency.  She told him she would just resume writing short fiction for magazines and maybe, work on her first novel.  They also agreed a baby could come later.

“IT’LL be foggy in Berlin today,” Karen announced the next morning, “but fair in Hong Kong,” as she checked the paper’s weather chart.

“Who cares?” Andy said.  “I don’t understand why you always have to know the weather in China or Paris everyday when it has nothing to do with you.  Who’s going to Berlin Schmerlin anyway?”

“I am,” she replied, smiling.  “I might go shopping there today.”  Then, laying down The Post on the table, she blurted, “My, my.  Aren’t we looking handsome today?”

Andy quickly looked down at his red and white striped dress shirt but not too quick to hide his burning cheeks.  Andrew Stratton, blushing?  Karen was puzzled.

“I told you you look better in prints than in the solids you prefer.”

“Gee, thanks,” was all the Boston U champion debater could say.

KAREN always thought she knew her husband well.  After all, they sailed through college hand in hand.  And she was his first and only girlfriend.

Calm and steady, Andy was the kind of guy you could always count on.  She could almost always guess what’s on his mind, what he’s going to say, what he’s about to order in the restaurant.  She could even tell the moment he’s going to make a whistling sound at night in bed.  She knew everything about him from the most trivial to the most complicated thing.  At least, that’s what she believed.

His predictability has always given her comfort and security.  And pride.

Or maybe she was becoming too smug.  Her friends’ marriages were failing one by one and only theirs has remained, well, successful and strong.  They have stayed together through big and small humiliating moments, bad ears, running noses, cancer scares, reversals at work, a broken furnace even.

One of her ex-officemates asked her once, “Have you had an affair?  I mean, weren’t you tempted?  You have been with Andy for ages!”

“I am human, Dolly,” she told her.  And, shaking her wavy blonde mane, she declared, “But no.”

“What about him?”

“Andy?”

“Yes, Andy.  Even if there’s only been him for you, hasn’t he ever had the hots for someone else?”  Dolly insisted.

“The hots?”  Karen laughed heartily, her kelly green eyes twinkling in amusement.  “Who, my husband?  No, not Andy.  Certainly, not Andy.”

HONEY, what’s best for removing stains?”  Andy was asking her that night.

Looking up from the paperback she was reading, she replied promptly, “Cold water.  Why?”

When no answer came, she tiptoed toward the bathroom and peeked inside.  She saw him over the sink, dabbing water with a paper towel onto the left collar of his printed button-down.  Indeed, a not-so-large but noticeable stain was present.

Peering closely, Karen tried to stifle a gasp.  It was a lipstick smudge.  And she thought she recognized the shade.

Flaming Azalea.  It was the same shade the Avon Lady was showing her the week before.  But she politely declined.  It was too bright for her, she said.

Then the phone rang.  Karen rushed to the bedside table to pick it up.

“Is Mark there?  This is Laura,” a husky female voice came from the other line.

“I’m sorry.  You got the wrong number,” she replied.  And she put the phone back on the cradle.

What was taking her husband long?  Shrugging her shoulders, she patted her pillow into position.  But just before she finally succumbed to Dreamland, she realized Mark was Andy’s middle name.

SHE knew she was dreaming.  But no matter how hard she tried to wake up, she couldn’t.

Andy was in a restaurant.  But not with her.  He was sharing a table with another woman.  A woman she hasn’t met or seen before.  Wearing a red dressy jumpsuit, she was smiling, touching Andy’s hand and mussing his hair.

No! she screamed at her.  Andy doesn’t like his hair being touched.  Not even by me.  But her husband and the woman with the long red hair and long painted nails didn’t hear her.  They weren’t seeing her, either.

The woman tossed her hair and looked at her direction.  Karen was shocked.

She was wearing Flaming Azalea on her lips.

SIPPING her third cup of coffee for that morning, Karen simply couldn’t dismiss her evil thoughts.  Was Andy having an affair?  Was he seeing another woman?  Who was Laura?  Was she the one who called up last night?  She vaguely remembered Andy mentioning a newly hired lawyer with the same name the night before.  Was she the woman in her dream?  And were they the same person?

And what about the lipstick smudge?

“You’re up early,” Andy greeted her, breaking into her thoughts.

Squinting through the lattice wall, he remarked casually, “I predict a lovely weather.  Though the chart said it’ll be cloudy in Tokyo and rainy in London today.”

Andy, who didn’t care about the weather?  When did he start poring over the charts?

Placing her mug on the twig coffee table, Karen studied her husband carefully.  His usually neat hair was slightly tousled this morning but he appeared not to care a bit.  He who only owned solid-colored slacks and button-downs was donning a printed dress shirt again.  And his new scent was all over the room.

He started to hum but stopped when he saw her staring.

“Do you know somebody named Laura?” she demanded.

“Laura?”  Andy’s brows knotted together for a moment.  Then chuckling, he replied.  “Oh, Laura.  Remember the one I was talking about the other night?  The one who bungled her first case?  Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten because it was oh-so funny.”

“Does she call you Mark?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said.

“And why does she call you Mark?” she asked again.

“Honey,” he began to explain, “how many times do I have to remind you there are three other Andys at the firm.  So we have to use our middle names.  You’ve met the other Andys before, haven’t you?”

When she didn’t say anything, he stared at her, “Karen, you couldn’t possibly have thought..,” his voice dwindled.

She hung  her head.

Andy chuckled again, then became serious. “But of course,” he said in his professional voice, “it could be a ground for a lawsuit… Nah, I was just joking.”

Karen had always considered Andy a simple man, a smart but uncomplicated guy, easy to know inside and out. He was as easy to read as the weather report. After six years of marriage, plus another three and a half in college and four more at law school, she believed they’ve lived in absolute intimacy. In soul, mind and body.

Andy hovered over her. With his left arm carrying his briefcase, he offered the other to help her up. “The office awaits, my dear,” he said.

By the front door, boxes of pink geraniums hang under both windows. Andy bent to pick a bud and placed it on his lapel.

Kissing her on the lips, he told her, “Have a lovely day, hon,” and just before he boarded his car, he waved at her, grinning happily like a little boy.

AS he drove away, Karen thought of the lipstick smudge again. She would never know if it was Laura’s or somebody else’s. Why it got there. And what it meant.

And perhaps she’d never know Andy and understand the changes in him lately. His moods, his new manner of dressing, his new interests and preferences. True, there was only so much you can ever know about a person. You can never ever know somebody so well.

Not Andy. No, not even her husband. #

Saturday, July 4, 2009

My Kids

While doing the grocery with me, my kids entertained themselves by taking pictures...of themselves.
http://k3ht.multiply.com/photos/album/118/118#1

June 27, 2009: SM Muntinlupa

Monday, June 22, 2009

Tales of the Mom on Fathers' Day

Yesterday, I was trying to watch SOP (my Sunday noontime bisyo) but my two kids were competing for my attention. Cae was filling out the UPCAT form, asking for help while Caehl wanted Mommy to get ice cream.

While helping out Cae in some of the questions in the form, Caehl cannot wait for Mommy so he spills some on his shirt, and on the carpet.

Hey you two, I said. It's hard to serve you both at the same time.

While this was going on, Alex was probably tuned in to Youtube or UFC in the computer room, nursing a slight fever.

Belated Happy Fathers' Day!!!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Pre-Father's Day Dinner - June 20, 2009




Hosted a simple dinner at our house - multiple celebrations actually. For Lolo Daddy and Lola Mommy's birthday (June 13 and June 1), Papa and Mama's wedding anniversary (June 18) and Father's Day (June 21).

Had barbeque, grilled liempo, pizza, siomai, asado rolls (from Mama), ice cream (from Kuya) and fruits. And of course, videoke (c/o our Karavision player)!

Not in photo: Azalea and Papa who arrived later

Caehl's PE day




Nagluluko, ayaw magsuot ng shirt.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009